Just to feel alive
by EonaDGM
Summary: All I wanted to do was to get the moyashi out of his damned panic. It was nothing more than for him to feel alive. And now? See where it brought us. Now we have to deal with the stupid consequences for the next nine months. Even beyond that. And all because I wanted to help him once. Yullen, Mpreg
1. Rescue

**Hello everyone,**

 **My first story for only DGM.**

 **This is again... Mpreg. I really don't know what I have with this stuff. ^^'**

 **Obviously it's also yaoi and rated M this time for a lemon scene later on.**

 **You have been warned and when you don't like either of them, turn away now and read a different story, so no flames here.**

 **Well, hope you enjoy the story nonetheless.**

 **The complete story is from Kanda's POV apart from some small parts where he is not present, then third p** **erson.**

 **Disclaimer: DGM doesn't belong to me but Katsura Hoshino, and it will never be mine.**

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I'm running. As fast as I can. Twigs are swishing past me, leaving small cuts in my already torn exorcist coat. But right now I don't have time to care about that.

I have to save a fellow exorcist. Dear lord, I sound like some fucking hero! That's not what I meant. It's just that got a call over my golem earlier that the moyashi or 'exorcist Allen Walker' as the call said, has encountered a Noah and needs reinforcement now. Since I'm the only other exorcist here I have to go.

And even though I would never admit it, I am concerned for that brat. Over the two years he's been in the Order, I learned to somehow care about him. Even though we bicker all the time, we know we can trust the other if needed (I still hate to be on mission with him though). Also one year back he started with that strange antic to come to me when he needs to talk or has problems (not that I answer but he apparently enjoys it). What is it with people searching comfort from me? First Linali and now the moyashi? I thought I was an antisocial jerk, as the beansprout never misses to remind me. The younger's talks have earned me quite a number of awkward situations and sometimes I really didn't need to know what I had to listen to.

But now he's in danger and I have to pick him up. Again.

I burst through the last bushes and storm out on the meadow where my golem located Timcampy. Allen's laying on the ground, his eyes closed. There are wounds visible on him, but nothing too serious. Next to him is a small girl with spiky blue hair and dark skin, grinning manically. Rhode Camelot. From what I've heard her ability is to play with one's mind. Judging from Allen's pained expression he's having some terrible dream.

"Oh great! Another exorcist to play with!" Rhode squeals, clapping her hands. Psycho bitch!

"Get the fuck away from him!" I growl at her.

"Oh, does my sweet Allen mean something to you!" she squeals.

"The fuck he does! Now move! Every Noah dies!" I growl and charge at her.

She jumps away. "Wow! You've got a really bad temper, do you know that?"

"Shut the fuck up!" I yell.

Unfortunately she is pretty effectively dodging my blade. Until it manages to cut straight through her. She looks stunned but then frowns. Shocked though I have to notice that nothing happened to her. Mugen cut right through her chest but there is no injury visible. She jumps away from me. One of her doors appears behind her.

"Alright. For today you win. You can take my sweet Allen," then her smirk turns evil, "But I would say you get him out there fast or maybe it will be never. Or at least he will never be the one you know anymore."

Then she retreats through her door. I want to follow but suddenly I remember Allen and what she said about him. I hear him scream out so I decide to ignore that bitch for now and focus on the beansprout.

"Oi, moyashi!" I shake him.

He doesn't react. Instead he groans and starts thrashing.

"Moyashi! Wake up!" I kneel next to him and lift his upper body up, securing his arms. "It's only a dream that fucking Noah put you into! Fucking focus and fight it off! Fuck moyashi! Prove for once that you are not weak!"

I shout at him. As much as he annoys me losing him is not what I want. He is important. And on top of it I don't want to imagine the uproar I will get if I let him die. I convince myself that this is the only reason I'm so desperate to rip him out of there, to avoid all the problems his death would cause for me. But if I would be truly honest it's not.

"Beansprout! Snap out of it!" I scream and slap him across the cheek, resorting to my last mean, "Wake the fuck up! Allen!"

At that he shoots up and his eyes spring open. For a moment they are wide, unfocused and blazing with fear. Then they focus on my face and they calm down. He slightly releases his tense body. A very slight smile makes his way onto his face.

"K-Kanda… You…" he speaks with a weak voice.

Suddenly he falls completely limp and I nearly lose my grip on him. Shocked I lift him back up. I release a sigh when I notice he is breathing evenly and calm. His face is relaxed as well. I would say he simply passed out from exhaustion. Good.

But now I have to carry him back to the inn we're staying at. Just great! I curse under my breath and move him with some difficulties to my back. I stand up and his head falls onto my right shoulder. A finder hurries over.

"Are you okay, Master Kanda? What is with Master Walker?"

"I'm fine! He passed out from exhaustion! That fucking Noah was playing her fucking mind games with him!" I growl at him, "I get him to the inn. You report to the Order."

"Okay, okay," fidgeting he runs to find a phone.

I grumble and curse as I walk through the city with the moyashi on my back. The inn keeper throws us strange looks while I walk past him. In response he receives a glare from me that makes him shrink away. I stomp up to our room. Unfortunately we only got one to share and not a single for each. I throw the door open and walk over to the moyashi's bed. I let him unceremoniously fall on it. He is starting to thrash and sweat again so I pull off his thick exorcist coat and his boots and secure him in the bed. He calms when I lay a hand on his forehead, which I notice is slightly warm. So I stand up to wet a cloth in the bathroom. I stomp back to his bed and lay the fabric on his forehead. His thrashing stops and he falls back into an apathetic state.

I hope he wakes up soon. That means we could leave earlier. And I hope he didn't gain some mental damage form the attack. That would make everything even more difficult. I really don't need that.

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **Hope you liked the beginning.**

 **Maybe see you next chapter.**


	2. Help me, Kanda

**Hello everyone,**

 **Thank you to everyone who favourited or follows the story. Also thank you to Lol, JJ45 and The 14th's Melody for the review.**

 **Here is the second chapter.**

 **Disclaimer: Nope, I have never and will never own DGM.**

* * *

The moyashi finally wakes up around eight o'clock in the evening. The finder already left this afternoon and went back to HQ ahead of us. So we are the only ones left. The inn is nearly vacant at the moment too.

I have been slightly dozing off but am suddenly ripped out of it. The beansprout shoots up with a loud panicked scream. Hurriedly I sit up straight. He takes a moment to realise where he is then he draws his legs to his chest and curls himself up. I see he is shaking and silent sobs are ripping through him. A pitiful picture. Even I lean slightly forward and lay a hand on his shoulder.

"Oi, moyashi! You okay?" I grumble at him, not really bothering to put on a different tone.

He tries to shakily nod, but even I can see that he is lying. I sigh.

"You're not, idiot! What did that fucking Noah do?" I growl.

He doesn't answer, only keeps on shaking, at least the crying nearly ceased. I though get irritated by his behaviour. Not that I care much about him but this sobbing mess is good for nothing.

"Fucking tell me, baka moyashi!" I scoff, pulling up his face, revealing puffy eyes and a frantic expression, "What the fuck is wrong, idiot?"

"N-Nothing…" he croaks out, "S-She only… Me-Memories…" Is all what I can identify from his shaking voice.

"She only showed you memories? Yours?" I noticed over the past year that it can help the beansprout if he can talk (for some reason to me) about what is bothering him, so I keep on prodding. Even though I might be acting quite out of character right now, when it comes to this idiot it's not the first time.

He nods shakily again trying to move his gaze away from my face but I am holding his head in place.

"What memory, moyashi? Fucking talk, specify what the hell you mean!"

"T-The with T-Tyki…" Tyki? That freak Noah I met in Edo? "I-I… d-died… I…"

I heard of that happening. The moyashi encountered the Noah earlier in China and got a hole through his heart at that. He officially died, his Innocence kept him alive. I for myself had my more than enough times of closer than near-death-experiences with my seal bringing me back. So for me the thought of dying isn't as frightening anymore. But I still remember the first time it happened and it was terrible. The moyashi is not accustomed to it like me so having to relive this memory over again must have been quite painful.

I sigh. His behaviour didn't change much. We won't get anywhere like that. So I resort to the last mean I know (okay, have seen Linali do) and quite dread. But this idiotic kid always manages to get me to do things I don't want to. So I slowly lean forward, pulling his body close to mine and put my arms around him. He looks up at me quite surprised at the hug. I just 'che' and look away. I see him smile shakily. At least a bit of progress. Then he buries his head in my chest and sobs again.

"It's okay, moyashi. It was just an illusion. You're not dead. You're still very much alive," I murmur in his ear.

It takes ten minutes for his tears to stop and another half an hour until he starts to move in my arms. I loosen my hold and start to sit back. He smiles carefully at me. I still detect the fright from earlier in his face but he is close to normal, luckily.

"Th-Thanks Kanda…" he murmurs, looking down and fisting the sheets.

I grumble a bit and return to the chair I put next to his bed. I sit for a moment, staring at him, and wait for him to say something more. But when he doesn't I sigh and stand up, heading over to my own bed. But before I can take a step, something catches my right wrist. When I turn, irritated, I see the moyashi is gripping it, his face shadowed by his bangs.

"What?" I scoff, my span of niceties already overstretched for today.

"I… I…" he is stuttering like he doesn't want to say what he is planning on. His next words are too silent for me to catch so I lean down to him, one knee on the bed, my face directly in front of his.

"What? Speak up, moyashi!" I growl.

"Could-Could you help me prove to me that I am still alive?" he mumbles.

"Prove that you are alive? What the heck do you – hmph!"

I start to scoff at him but am suddenly cut off when he shoots forward, grabbing my collar in the process. I am shocked when I feel his lips on mine. He is kissing me! What the fuck?! He is… The stupid moyashi is fucking kissing me! And not like some little peck. He is moving against my lips and trying to make it even deeper. What's wrong with him?

Nonetheless I can't deny that I don't completely hate it. His lips are soft and feel good. Shit! What am I thinking? Suddenly something warm and wet touches my lip. I make an annoyed sound but the thing, which I have identified as the moyashi's tongue, uses the chance and slips inside my mouth. What is he doing?! But for some reason I am not able to push him away forceful enough to break his grip. But luckily I can stop myself from reacting to his kiss.

Finally he draws away in need of breath, with an again frantic look in his eyes, nearly desperate. I wipe a hand over my mouth.

"W-What the fuck was that, moyashi?" I growl. Unfortunately Mugen is out of my reach and he is still gripping my collar, so I can't decapitate him at the moment.

"I… I… S-Sorry… It's just-just to prove that I-I'm alive…" he stutters averting his gaze.

Now I understand. I sigh. Even though I hoped he would have his prove now his behaviour says it was not enough. I sigh again and curse. I really don't want to drag this crying mess back to the Order. If a kiss is what gets him out of it. Fine, if it has to be.

So I grab his chin, ignoring the look of surprise in his eyes. I pull his face up, my lips meeting his for the second time. For a moment he is shocked but then immediately starts to react. I repeat his earlier action by running my tongue along his bottom lip. He opens up without any hesitation and my tongue enters his mouth. His own comes to meet mine and they start to engage in a battle. In the end I win. For that it is both our first experience (at least I assume for him too) it feels really good. I am trying to ignore the fact that it is the moyashi I am kissing and try to concentrate on the feeling.

When we part for air, his arms have found their way on my shoulders and he is panting slightly and blushing.

"You satisfied now, moyashi?" I growl, willing away my own light blush.

A sad look flashes trough his eyes and his gaze turns down again. He seems to be pondering over what to do. I sit back, assuming his response to be yes. But I am a bit shocked when I think to detect a shaking of the head. And again when I try to move away he grips my arm.

"Please!" he whispers, "Prove to me that I am alive!"

"Moyashi!" I sigh exasperated, "I already kissed you! That's what you wanted, wasn't it?"

He shakes his head, vigorously. I groan deeply. That boy is annoying as hell.

"Then what the heck do you want me to do?"

His next words I nearly can't catch as he speaks so silently, but in the end I wish I hadn't heard them.

"Take me…"

I hope I misheard! He didn't just say what I think I heard him say. He can't mean…, can he?

"Begging your pardon?" I ask stunned.

"S-Sleep with me…" he murmurs again, this time clarifying it and confining my fears.

"Moyashi! Do you know what you are fucking saying?! We can't! We are both men, bloody hell!" I yell at him, a slight red creeping on my cheeks again.

"I don't care!" his voice is getting louder with each word, until he is nearly screaming, sounding somehow desperate, "I don't care that we are both men! I need to feel that I am still alive! Please Kanda! I don't care about the rules against it! Do you?"

I am taking aback by his rant. The rules were made by the church, that two men being together is a sin. But as I lost my belief in the church long ago, I give a shit about these rules as well. At his words a conversation (though slightly one-sided) we had around two months ago, comes back to my mind.

 _~ flashback ~_

 _I am in the training room, trying to meditate. But nowadays it is quite hard to find time for it as most of the time it is either Linali running away from Rouvelier next to me or the moyashi, blabbering about his problems. And that's the case right now as well. On the floor by my side is the stupid beansprout, lying on his back. He has just talked for about ten minutes without me uttering more than some sounds. At the moment he is silent which I greatly appreciate. Unfortunately that doesn't last for long when I hear him speak up again._

 _"_ _Kanda… Have you ever thought about being gay?"_

 _"_ _Huh?" this rips even me out of my trying-to-meditate-state. I open my eyes and look at him. He is staring at the ceiling, avoiding my gaze. Luckily this room is reserved for exorcists and I and he are the only ones of those at HQ at the moment. If anyone had heard him, he would have been imprisoned. We work for an institution of the church and they think of it as a sin after all!_

 _"_ _Have you really never thought about being with a man instead of a woman?" the moyashi inquires._

 _"_ _Oi! You know this is considered a sin, don't you? Baka moyashi!" I scoff at him._

 _"_ _I know," he answers with a firm voice, "But I am not asking the official opinion. I am asking yours. And yours alone. I know you don't give much on the rules of the church. And it's still Allen!"_

 _I grumble and force myself to actually think about an answer on his question for once._

 _"_ _Not much, baka! I am not interested in anyone, especially that way. Neither male nor female," I answer honestly, which earns me a sigh from him._

 _"_ _I knew you would say something like that, BaKanda."_

 _"_ _Che! Baka moyashi! Don't call me that!" I scoff back._

 _To my surprise he chuckles at that. I 'che' another time and go back to my meditation. But not for long until he voices another statement that throws me off balance._

 _"_ _What would you think of me if I told you… If I was gay?"_

 _"_ _The fuck, moyashi?" I shout back, nearly toppling over._

 _"_ _Answer the question, Kanda! Please!" His voice is suddenly different._

 _I grumble and curse, but then sigh._

 _"_ _Not differently. As you correctly noticed I give a shit about this fucking church's rules. And I also don't care about your sexual orientation. You are you, no matter whether you like men or women," I grumble reluctantly._

 _His face lights up when he hears my words. "Thank you, Kanda," he smiles at me brightly and for some reason I am happy to see it's a real one for once._

 _"_ _But why the heck did you ask me that?"_

 _His smile turns into a smirk. "Well… I could get interested in you…"_

 _"_ _The fuck?" I yell, now actually blushing._

 _"_ _Why are you so surprised, Yuu-chan? You are quite the attractive man. And no gay man, not even me, would refuse to sleep with you!" His voice has a teasing tone._

 _And even though I know he is only joking now he is really going overboard, using that stupid nickname as well!_

 _"_ _What the fuck are you saying?! Stop this shit! And never ever fucking call me 'Yuu-chan'!" I growl, grabbing Mugen._

 _He jumps up, activating Crown Clown as well and we engage in one of our usual battles._

 _He never brought up this subject again and I forgot soon after, until now._

 _~ end of flashback ~_

Was that was the moyashi wanted to tell me back then? That he was gay? And that he liked me… or did at least find me attractive? And now he wants to… sleep with me? Unfortunately for some reason I am not as disgusted by that thought as I should be.

I am shell-shocked over what is happening nonetheless. But I still have to decide on what to do now! And I have to do it fast! The easiest and probably most natural thing would be to deny the moyashi's request and push him away. But… There is this haunted look on the beansprout's face. I don't want to see that any longer. Also dragging him in this state back to HQ would be a pain and if the moyashi changes that much I don't think the Order would ever be the same. Allen's smile was what lightened up the bad mood hanging there. It's not my problem but the others would be greatly affected. But still… Maybe if I can reason with him (not my best ability either though).

"Please Kanda!" he cries at me.

"Moyashi! We can't do it! If someone sees us, we will get killed!" I shout, trying to deter him.

"No one will see, Kanda! The finder left and no one else knows us here! I need to feel alive! Please! Prove it to me!" his voice sounds desperate, his eyes pleading.

My resolution starts to waver. If sex is what he needs now, why not. If it gets him back to his normal behaviour which will lighten up the whole HQ, then my already defiled body is a small price to pay. But I will give it one last try before I give in to him.

"Then get yourself a woman, moyashi! Or I can go and…"

"No, Kanda! I want you! Now! Please!"

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **I think you all have an idea what will happen next time. Hope to see you then.**

 **And please keep on reviewing.**


	3. Feeling alive

**Hello everyone,**

 **thank you so much for the reiews! They are really encouraging.**

 **Also thanks to the pople who favourited or followed.**

 **Warning for this chapter: There is a lemon here, like some already guessed. The first I wrote...**

 **Disclaimer: Nope, I don't own DGM, I'm waiting for the next chapter just like you.**

* * *

"No, Kanda! I want you! Now! Please!"

His voice goes over the edge and I wonder slightly how he manages that so shortly after waking up from unconsciousness. By now his hands are again gripping my collar. I bow my head, finally coming to a resolve. He lowers his gaze as well, expecting a negative answer. I sigh, crawl completely on the bed and carefully start to push him back. He looks at me with bewilderment and these haunted eyes that send shivers down even my back. As I don't know what face to make I settle with a scowl like usual.

"Fine, baka moyashi!" I grumble.

"What?" he looks surprised.

"I said fine, idiot! I will do it! But no one ever hears of this! Understood, moyashi?!" I growl.

His eyes widen, then he calms down. And he smiles again. Thank god. He follows my movements, letting himself fall back onto the bed. As I have never done this before I settle with kissing him first. This time the kiss gets passionate fast. He tastes sweet and even though I normally hate sweet things this time I don't. I manage to get caught in the long hem of my coat when I inch closer to him, so I shrug the long garment off.

Allen moans when my tongue runs over the roof of his mouth and pulls me closer with his arms around my neck. He presses our bodies close together and I hate to admit it but it feels not bad. I start to run my hands which were laying on his shoulders to push him down, over his collarbones to his chest, earning another moan when I brush his nipples. I smirk and start unbuttoning the white dress shirt he wears under his exorcist coat. He tries to help, moving his arms from my neck and making it easier for me to pull the fabric off. He draws himself back up as soon as it's gone, pressing his chest against mine, still covered with the sleeveless top I'm wearing.

He moans again, pushing off his pants by himself. I can feel how hard he already is. He really wants it. And I can't keep myself from showing a reaction either, my own pants getting tighter. He kisses me again, desperate for contact, pressing up. Our tongues tangle and my hands are roaming his chest and stomach, occasionally playing with his nipples. He moans into the kiss but never breaks it. Instead his hips move up. We both moan when our hard members contact. I hate to admit but it feels really good. Damn!

Again my hand wanders down, further this time, slipping into his boxers and gripping his member. His eyes widen and he utters a long moan into our kiss. I smirk and start to stroke him, leaving his mouth to kiss down his chest. Unfortunately I notice that I really start to enjoy it. Ah, shit! Just curse it all! I decide to just ignore the fact that it's the moyashi I'm doing this with, that we're both male, that this is a sin and whatnot, and simply go with it for now, enjoying it.

By now his underwear is at his knees and somewhere in between his moaning he is working on getting it off completely. Suddenly he looks up directly in my eyes, his beautiful silver darkened with want, and starts to tug on my shirt. I realize that while he is already naked I am still completely clothed, so I stop my ministrations for a second to let him pull off my own top. He moans when I'm finished and presses his hands against my chest, letting them run all over it. He snakes one of them behind my back and pulls off my hair tie, which results in my long ebony strands falling like a curtain all around us. He smiles, running his hands all through them. I answer with another smirk and move my head further down until I reach his member. He doesn't really notice as he is too focused on playing with my hair right now. But he gasps loudly and arches his back up as soon as my tongue touches his shaft.

I smirk at his reaction, keeping on my teasing while playing with his chest with my left hand. He is fisting the sheets now, trying to move around, but I am keeping him steady. When I feel he is close to release I go back up. There is only so much I will do, I am not getting his come into my mouth! I kiss his collarbone and return a hand to his member while the other runs over his stomach. I don't have to wait for long until he comes all over my hand. With a cry of my name. The moment it takes him to recover I use to pull off my own pants and underwear, which are getting seriously uncomfortable by now.

"Kanda… Don't-Don't leave… Please, I…" I hear the moyashi's weak voice.

"I know," I smirk and silence him with another short kiss, "Don't worry. I want my part as well…"

He grins back, panting, and I notice he's hard again. I use the right hand still slick with his come, to trail down to his entrance. He moans and arches when I touch it. I grin, kissing him passionately. One finger enters without problem. It appears like he barely notices it while I am doing my best to distract him from it. Even though I have never done this before (obviously) I know this can really be painful so I have to be careful not to hurt the moyashi more than necessary. I enter another finger and this time he tenses up. I kiss him deeply and use my other hand to play with his nipple. He soon relaxes again and I start moving the digits, stretching him. He moans again deeply and I decide it's time for the last finger to enter. A small pained sound leaves him at that. I start to kiss him and fist his erection again to distract him. And it works until he actually starts to rock down on my fingers.

"K-Kand-ahh…" he moans and arches.

"Understood, moyashi," I smirk and retreat my digits, earning me a small whimper from him.

"Are you ready, beansprout?" I ask, looking deep in his eyes.

He nods, confident and flushed with want. Beautiful! I think and immediately mentally slap myself for that thought. It may be that the moyashi looks good but I as another male should not think that of him, especially not now. I shake my head free from these thoughts and position myself. For another look of confirmation I lock eyes with the moyashi.

Then I slowly push in. He tenses and lets out a pained whimper. I mumble a 'sorry' and kiss him, again teasing his shaft to overpower the pain with pleasure. When I'm fully in I stop, giving him time to get used to this feeling. New for both of us and for me at least great. Then his breathing calms down slightly, his arms going around my neck again, tangling in my long hair. His eyes lock with mines again.

"Move!" he whispers and I kiss him and comply.

First it looks like he can't decide over which is stronger, pain or pleasure. But then I apparently hit a special spot, when he arches up violently. He clings tighter to me and begs for more. Even though it is still difficult for me to find a pace or angle I comply and feel myself approaching my climax. He moans and pants and I know he is close too, so I grab his member and start pumping it again. Soon after he comes for a second time, splattering it all over both our stomachs and my hand. I follow suit and release deep inside of him.

Then I pull out before I collapse and let myself fall next to him on the bed. He cuddles close to me and I don't push him away. Firstly I don't have the energy or nerves right now and secondly, for once it's okay. He looks up at me, his eyes only half-open anymore, exhaustion taking over him.

"Thank you Kanda… That was what I needed…" he whispers softly.

I smirk. "It's okay, moyashi, just don't tell anyone…"

"I won't…" he murmurs, while falling asleep in my arms.

I smile a soft smile just once and stroke his hair one time. Then I close my own eyes and drift to sleep fast.

* * *

The next morning is a bit awkward for me. I am the first to wake up and for a second I don't remember what happened. That results in me literally jumping out of the bed as soon as I discover a naked moyashi, snuggled up in my chest. Then the memories come flooding back. Oh shit! I blush hard. I stand there for a moment, only staring at the beansprout.

The next thing I do is hurrying into the bath. I am sticky with sweat and have Allen's come on my stomach. I want to get that off as fast as possible! I take a long time, washing myself off and rinsing my long hair. Even after I am finished I stay there, thinking about last night. In the end I come to the conclusion that, even though I didn't dislike it and the moyashi neither from what I could tell, it was nothing and will change nothing between us. It was just what he needed to feel alive and I did it so he would still be the same light the other people need. Nothing important!

But I am ripped out as I hear a scream coming from the bedroom. The moyashi has woken up, apparently.

"Kanda! Kanda, where are you?" he yells.

I notice the panic in his voice and hurry to put my pants on, then I grab my towel and run out.

"I'm here, moyashi. Calm down," I grumble.

He visibly relaxes. "Sorry, it's just… I woke up without you there, I thought you were… And my name is still Allen…"

"I know, but I'm fine," I scoff back, relieved to hear his usual reply to the nickname.

Then he looks down at himself and blushes. "Ah, about that…"

I turn my back to him, "Don't worry, just forget it."

I see him nod, then he hurries to the bathroom to clean himself as well. I finish dressing and put my hair together. When he comes out of the shower, fully clothed, we grab our stuff and leave the room, ignoring the mess we leave on the bed.

We get the bill and head for the ark gate in the next city. The morning an awkward tension had been looming over us, due to the previous night. Luckily that dissipates before we reach the town and when we step into the HQ we are back at our bickering routine which greatly relieves me.

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **Well, the lemon was not so great, but it's my first and I didn't really plan on writing one so soon.**

 **Hope you liked the chapter nonetheless.**

 **Keep on reviewing, please ;)**


	4. Sick moyashi?

**Hello everyone,**

 **thanks a lot for the reviews, favourites and follows.**

 **I don't have much time right now, exam time at my University. I can't see Maths anymore!**

 **Disclaimer: Did I ever say I owned DGM? No, and I still don't.**

* * *

I don't get to see the moyashi much in the following time. He gets a week off because of his encounter with Rhode while I am sent on my next mission the day after our return. When I get back to the Order after it, he is already gone. Out on an akuma hunt. I stay two days in headquarters then am sent out for another time. It was originally planned to take less than a week, but every time I finished one of the tasks they gave me, I got a new one. That results in it taking over a month until I next step into HQ. I am only allowed back after I encountered a Noah as well, nearly killing it in the process, unfortunately only nearly.

The moyashi looks even paler than usual when I see him the first time again, but he brushes it off. I return early to bed this day, after a long round of rabbit hunting until Linali stopped us. The following day I go through my normal routine. The whole time though I don't see the beansprout at all. Of course I am happy to manage a day without the white haired kid getting on my nerves but I can't help but feel irritated by it either.

On the next morning I wake up really early, even for my liking. I groan when I read the 5:28 on my clock. Nonetheless I can't go back to sleep. It's like there's something telling me to be awake. I curse and drag myself out of the bed. Even though a lot of people think otherwise, I am not a morning person. I wash my face and put my hair back into the ponytail after combing. I dress myself in training clothes, grab my sword and head out of my room. As I can't sleep I decide to do a short morning training and then eat breakfast.

I grumble under my breath while I walk down the long hallways. Suddenly I stop. I hear strange noises. They are coming from a room ahead to the left. It sounds weird. Like someone is incredibly sick. I move forward, following the sounds until I stop in front of the door from where they are emanating. I freeze slightly when I realize whose room it is. It's the moyashi's! Is he ill? Before I can stop myself I have pushed the door open roughly. I storm into the room and as I don't see the white head, continue to the small bathroom every room has in the new HQ.

Mugen creates a clattering sound when it falls to the floor as I take in the picture in front of me. The moyashi is sitting on the floor, hunched over the toilet, his head hanging low over the bowl. He shoots around when he hears my footsteps and tries to glare at me, but it's far too weak to be intimidating. He looks pale and exhausted. I notice he is shaking and thinner than usual. While I am still staring he tenses up again and hurriedly turns away from me, back to the toilet seat. I hear a disgusting noise as he vomits into it. Out of reflex I move down to kneel next to him, rubbing his back. It's again such a pitiful picture. Really, what is it with the moyashi, always making me soft?

After another round of throwing up, he starts to dry heave now. What is wrong with him? And why did he never say anything about it? If he is this bad he must have been sick for some time already.

Finally he is finished and sinks back, exhausted. He leans against the side wall, letting me support him. His eyes fall closed and he wipes some sweat from his forehead. I kneel down in front of him.

"Moyashi! What the hell is wrong with you?" I ask.

"I'm fine, BaKanda. Nothing to worry about," he murmurs, his voice raspy from throwing up.

"Fine, my ass," I hiss, shoving a water bottle I took with me for training in his hands, "Here!"

He looks down and a small smile crosses his face. "Thanks"

He drinks in thirsty gulps. Then he hands the bottle back to me and attempts to stand up. I see him struggle and help, bowing down shortly for Mugen. I am able to bring him back to his bed. He murmurs another thanks and curls under the covers. But I am not letting him off that easily.

"Moyashi! Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?" I inquire again, gripping his shoulder and forcing him to look at me.

"Nothing," he averts his eyes, "Really, no need to worry, BaKanda."

"Bullshit!" I shout, startling him. "You were just fucking throwing up like crazy in front of my eyes and you say it's nothing?! Baka moyashi!"

"It's just a stomach flu," he grumbles reluctantly, "It will go away over time. And my name is Allen, for god's sake…"

"You sure? That looked like more if you ask me."

"But I'm not asking you!" he snaps, shooting up in his bed, "It's been like this for nearly two weeks now! It will go away! And why do you even care? And why now?"

I am stunned by his outburst to say the least. Then my rage takes over.

"I was on mission until two days ago, idiot! I don't care much for you, but your damn moping drags the whole Order down and the idiot rabbit and Linali become unstandable!" I yell back at him, "And if you've been sick for two weeks why did you never fucking speak with Komui?"

"I did speak with Komui. I'm off missions since then," he answers, now resigned. Wow, that was fast.

But at that moment we are interrupted by an immensely loud growl. He blushes and I smirk.

"You have to get something to eat. You are pale and too thin. Did you even eat anything yesterday? I didn't see you in the cafeteria," I say, trying to manage a soft voice.

"No, I didn't… I didn't feel like eating… And whatever I eat I throw it up the next morning anyway," he answers me, eyes downcast.

I roll my eyes. "It doesn't matter whether you throw it up or not. From the portions you always eat, a day without any food would really drain you."

He pouts but gets out of bed to dress. He has some problems but first refuses to let me help him. I roll my eyes again and remind him that there is nothing I haven't seen yet. He blushes furiously at that. When he's finished I drag him down to the cafeteria. Luckily it's still pretty early so not many people are around yet to see us. And no rabbit or Linali, they would never let me hear the end of it.

The moyashi orders a ridiculous amount of food, nearly twice the size he normally eats, some weird things under it as well. He is already finished when I'm only halfway through my soba. As I feel stares I look to my right and see the beansprout looking intensely at my food.

"Oi moyashi! You're drooling!" I scoff.

He hastily jerks up, his hand wiping over his mouth. I smirk and he pouts when he realises I was only teasing him. But when he continues staring at my soba I sigh and push the plate over to him. I already lost my appetite earlier, watching him eat. His face lights up and he happily digs into the dish. I noticed he ordered soba as well, surprising me as he never did it before. He always said he didn't want to eat my 'jerk-food'.

Unfortunately at that moment I hear a loud happy voice boom through the hall.

"Yuu-chan! Moyashi-chan! You're already up! And not fighting!"

The baka usagi! Great! What is he doing here? Normally he likes to sleep longer and it's only 6:42. He grins broadly at us and flops down next to the moyashi.

"Don't call me that!" I hiss at him.

"My name is Allen!" is the reply from the beansprout, muffled through a mouth full of soba.

Lavi only grins even more. Then he takes a look at the plate in front of the moyashi and looks up questioningly.

"Hey Allen. You eating Yuu's food there? I thought you hated soba?"

"Don't call me that!" I hiss again, starting to get to the end of my patience.

"Hm," the white head shrugs, "Felt like it. And it tastes better than I thought. I would have thought something Kanda was eating would taste awful for normal people."

"Oi moyashi!" I growl, "Only because I'm not such a glutton like you, doesn't mean I don't have any taste."

He pouts, "I'm not a glutton! And my name is Allen."

"Oh yes you are. You even got twice the size today."

"You know it's just because of my Innocence. And I didn't eat yesterday. Can't you even remember that?"

"Of course I can, but that doesn't change the fact that you are a glutton."

But before Allen can retort, the baka usagi intercepts.

"Okay, I think it's enough now. It's too early in the morning for that, don't you think?"

We both turn our glares, originally fixed on each other, on him. He gulps and shrinks back on his seat, mumbling something like 'But apparently you don't'.

"Che," I stand up, "I have had enough of you idiots!" I say and storm out of the cafeteria.

What I don't notice is the look the moyashi is throwing at me, somehow sad but also nearly longingly. Luckily the rabbit doesn't notice either as he is still cowering on his bench.

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **Well, what is wrong with our moyashi?**

 **I'm pretty sure, you all know ;)**

 **Hope you liked it and see you at the next chapter.**

 **Keep on reviewing, please ^^**


	5. Something wrong and a new mission

**Hello everyone,**

 **Exams time finally over! Yay XD**

 **Well I have to repeat one on 5th of April, because I was sick on the first time, but that's over a month away.**

 **So for now I'm happy to have free time and because of that you get a new chapter.**

 **Hope you like it.**

 **Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favourited or follows. Like always ;)**

 **Disclaimer: I may have a lot of free time now, but still don't own DGM.**

* * *

Later that day I get the 'pleasure' of all three of them interrupting my training. Linali is happily chatting away while the rabbit is bouncing around and annoying as hell. The moyashi though is strangely quiet. He doesn't talk much apart from some polite replies to Linali. He is glancing at me from time to time. And sometimes he seems to be rubbing his stomach, but I think he is just hungry again.

"Hey, how about we spar?" Lavi suddenly asks.

"Good idea," Linali agrees, "How about we go Allen against Kanda and me against Lavi."

I notice the moyashi blanches. What's wrong with him these days?

"Ah, thank you, but not now, Linali," he hurriedly says.

"Why not?" the girl pouts at him.

I smirk, "You scared of being beaten by me, moyashi?"

He frowns, "Surely not, BaKanda. It's just that I don't feel like fighting right now."

"Is something wrong, Allen?" Linali asks concerned.

"Just a bit stomach ache, nothing grave," he says with a small (fake) smile.

I narrow my eyes at him. Throwing up this morning and now a stomach ache. For some reason I get a bad feeling. Something is seriously wrong with the moyashi and I don't like it.

"Do you want to go to the infirmary?" Lavi asks.

The smaller shakes his head, "No, don't worry. I'm okay. It will go away. I just want to rest a bit for today."

The two don't really seem to believe him, but they don't stop him when he bows curtly, turns and walks out of the training room. I am lost in thought until the rabbit rips me out of it.

"Hey Yuu. Yuu! Earth to Kanda! Are you somewhere in there, Yuu?"

"Don't call me that!" I snap at him, throwing my fist in his direction which he barely avoids.

"Are you okay, Kanda? It's been long since I saw you so absent-minded," Linali questions me with a worried gaze.

"Che, I'm fine."

"Okay. But what's wrong with Allen? He hasn't been well for some time now, has he?" she looks over to the closed door.

"Che, the idiot said he had a stomach flu," I answer reluctantly.

"A stomach flu? How do you know that?"

"Che, not your business," I scoff not wanting to tell what happened this morning.

"Kanda! Tell me," she inquires.

"Why should I? It's not your problem."

"Because," she turns to her scary side, "if you don't I will say to my brother that you kissed me."

Shit! That would be my death. That stupid idiot with his sister complex would kill me for that (not that I did it; it's only a lie). I pale a little bit and scoff. Then I turn my gaze away from the girl and her evil-sweet smile.

"Che. I found him this morning throwing up in his room," I admit grumbling.

"You went to his room?" Lavi is barely supressing his laughter, "What were you doing there?"

I force myself not to blush at his implications (and the pictures from 'that' night surfacing at it) and instead growl at the rabbit.

"I was doing nothing in his room, baka usagi. I woke up damn early and fucking heard strange sounds from his room so I took a look. Don't get any stupid ideas!"

"Aw, our Yuu-chan cares for his moyashi!" he squeals.

Okay, that's it! Now he has overdone it! For the umpteenth time using my fucking first name! Then saying I would care for that stupid beansprout! Well even if I do, I would never admit it in front of the rabbit of all people! And then implying the moyashi was mine! Not that I wouldn't like that but – Wait! What?! What kind of shit am I thinking? I would never want to be together with the moyashi!

"I fucking told you not to call me that, baka usagi!" I yell.

Lavi blanches, finally sensing his doom as well. He hurriedly tries to apologise, but I ignore it and slowly draw Mugen. His eyes go wide and he turns on his heel, running away as fast as he can manage. I follow him, swinging my sword at him.

Some time later we are stopped by an exasperated Linali.

"Enough now, you two! Kanda, my brother wants to see you. Apparently you got a new mission."

I groan. That can't be, can it? I came back two fucking days ago! Why is it again me who has to go? There are other exorcists here at the moment who have had a longer time off, aren't there? I understand that the moyashi can't go, he's sick. But what about Linali? Or the stupid rabbit? They were both already here when I came back. Nonetheless there is nothing I can do, so I curse and stomp in the direction of the supervisors office.

When I enter there is as much chaos as always. I continue grumbling under my breath. Komui is still sleeping as well. I groan and walk over to him as there is no scientist in sight who would wake him. I hit him on the back of the head and as a revenge on the baka usagi say to him.

"Oi Komui. Linali is marrying Lavi."

Immediately he shoots up, "Where is that stupid red head? I will teach him not to touch my darling sister."

I roll my eyes and hit him hard with Mugen. He yelps and glares until he spots me and his features change into something akin to a serious face. I curse again under my breath and walk over the couches in front of his desk.

"You wanted to see me?" I growl.

He clears his throat, "Ah, yes, Kanda. I am going to send you on a new mission. I know you have only recently returned, but Lavi is busy with bookman duties and I won't send my darling sister there."

I notice he leaves out the moyashi. Apparently he (or the beansprout himself) doesn't want to know anyone about his sickness. I ignore the fact though waiting for him to continue.

"There have been many akuma sightings in a town two days from here."

"So it's a simple akuma extinction?"

"Yeah, but the location is the problem…"

I only quirk an eyebrow.

"It's run down city, full of bad folk. Bandits, murderers, whores and whatnot."

"The ideal hideout for akuma," I grumble.

He nods, "That's also the reason I can't send Linali. Be careful, Kanda. We don't need another one of our exorcists out of duty."

I know he means the moyashi, but keep quiet over it.

"Che, I will be fine."

When I stand up he hands me the folder his gaze never changing from worried. I snatch the paper away from him, overlooking the information grumbling. My nose scrunches up in disgust by what I read. Even I would wish nobody to live there. I mumble something under my breath, then say goodbye to the supervisor. I stomp over to my room and throw the door closed behind me. I pack a suitcase and exit again.

Due to what I read I'm not hungry so I plan on departing immediately. The earlier I arrive there, the earlier I can leave again. As I walk down the hallway, I for some reason stop in front of the moyashi's room. He didn't look good earlier and he stormed off quite violently. I notice his door isn't locked and as I can hear no sounds from the inside, I carefully open it a crack. I spot the white head in his bed. He is sleeping peacefully, curled up in the covers like a cat. Good, he seems to be a bit better. Realizing what I am doing I pull the door closed and hurry away.

I arrive at the landing stage and get into one of the boats. I will be going without finder, so they wouldn't be in danger. I prefer it like that to be honest. Finders are annoying, though in this kind of city not being alone might have been an advantage.

When I get there one and a half day later, even I am shocked. I have seen a lot in my life already, but this even makes me want to gag.

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **This mission Kanda has now will be part of a little side part of the story.**

 **Next chapter will be sometime on weekend, hope to see you then.**

 **And please keep on reviewing, it is very encouraging.**


	6. Taiyou

**Hello everyone,**

 **Originally I planned to upload this on Sunday, but tomorrow I am going to meet with friends and I don't know how much time I will have. So you get it today.**

 **I also fnished writing another story. Another Yullen Mpreg. (Hah, again...) I will start to upload it after 'Just to feel alive' is finished if you are interested.**

 **Thanks for the reviews as always.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own neither Kanda nor Allen or Alma. Only Taiyou is my OC.**

* * *

It takes me five days to wipe out all the akumas there. In the end I am at the end of my nerves as well and only glad when I can return to the HQ. On the train ride back (too close so no ark gate) I fall in a fitful sleep, one scene replaying in my mind over and over again.

 _~ flashback ~_

 _I am walking down the main street with my hood drawn over my head. I got myself a completely black overcoat before the mission to cover my face. I am trying to not breathe in deeply, the smell of this village is making me want to throw up._

 _Suddenly I fell a tug on my coat. Cursing I stop and look down. I spot a child. Around six or seven years I would say, only skin and bones. His big light eyes, reminding me a lot of the moyashi's, are looking up at me pleadingly. His hair is dark, dirty and cut short. His face reminds me of Alma and that hurts._

 _"_ _What do you want, brat?" I scoff at him._

 _"_ _Could you give me something?" he asks hopefully, holding out one of his little hands._

 _"_ _Che, why would you think I would? Ask the others!" I growl irritated._

 _He though shakes his head, "The others who live here are bad. They would never help anyone but themselves. But you are different!"_

 _"_ _Che, I'm not. Why would you think that, stupid brat?"_

 _He smiles at me with his bruises and dirt covered face, "I know you are. I can tell from your eyes. You care for your friends you just don't show it."_

 _I look at him flabbergasted for a moment then groan, "You remind me way too much of the moyashi. Fine, come with me."_

 _His face lights up and he runs after me when I start walking. Shortly before we reach the inn at the outskirts I am staying at though we are surrounded by men._

 _"_ _What do you want?" I growl, already in a bad mood._

 _The leader grins, "Just hand the kid over and we will let you go."_

 _The boy starts shivering and cowers behind me, clutching my coat tightly. One of my hands unconsciously wanders to his thin shoulder. I turn back to the disgusting men around me wondering what they want with the child._

 _"_ _Why should I? Why do you want him anyway?"_

 _"_ _We are upholding a small entertainment establishment, if you want to say it like that. This boy would be a good addition to our staff. And you should give him to us because otherwise we will beat you up and maybe take you as well. You're not that bad looking either."_

 _"_ _Please not!" the boy whimpers behind my back and my grip on him tightens._

 _I myself want to gag. They want to use him as a whore! He is fucking six! That's more than disgusting!_

 _"_ _Never!" I spit at them._

 _The leader grins a wicked grin, sending shivers down my back at the strong stench of alcohol from his mouth, "Well then we will take him by force!"_

 _And with that his henchmen lunge at me. But I don't care. My rage takes over and all I see is red. I stop every attack thrown at me and punch back. I am not even using Mugen (also because we are not allowed to kill humans even though these assholes would deserve it). In the end I am standing in the middle of all of them lying around me unconscious. I am breathing heavily and blood is dripping from my hands. I turn at the leader, who by now is cowering against the wall in fear._

 _"_ _So what now? Still planning on taking me?" I say in a deadly calm tone._

 _He shakes his head frantically, hurriedly turning away and running as fast as his legs can carry him. I scoff and wipe some blood from my face. When I turn I see the small boy looking at me with amazement in his eyes._

 _"_ _Wow, you beat them all up without a problem. What do you do for living?"_

 _I only scoff. He cocks his head to the side, but doesn't question further._

 _"_ _Well, thank you so much!" he then says._

 _"_ _No problem, they made me angry. Now move. I don't want to stay any longer on this godforsaken street!" I growl and start walking again._

 _He is running behind me and follows me to my room as soon as we reach the inn. The keeper throws me a weird look but I silence him with a glare. I slam the door closed after the boy has entered, locking it. I stomp over to my bag and start digging in it._

 _"_ _Here!" I throw some remains from the food I took with me from the Order._

 _"_ _Thank you!" he yells happily and starts to eat in a similar fashion as the moyashi._

 _"_ _Oi, you have a name?" I ask after a while._

 _"_ _No," he shakes his head, "I had once, but I don't know it anymore."_

 _"_ _Hm," I think for a moment, "How about Taiyou? It's Japanese for 'sun'."_

 _His face beams up, "That's a great name. Thank you very much. By the way, what's your name?"_

 _"_ _Kanda"_

 _Suddenly he bows, "Then thank you so much for all you did for me, Mr. Kanda."_

 _"_ _No Mr, that's sounds awful. And no problem. Just do me a favour and go wash yourself now." I growl back irritated._

 _His look goes down and when he heads for the door out of the room I stop him._

 _"_ _Oi, where are you going? The bath is to the left!" I point in the direction._

 _"_ _Huh?" he looks at me stunned._

 _"_ _The bath! To wash yourself!" I growl exasperated. God is this kid stupid? I am really losing my patience. He reminds me far too much of the fucking moyashi._

 _"_ _But I thought I should leave again?" he asks me dumbfounded._

 _"_ _Che, you think I would let you go out there if these men are after you?"_

 _His face lights up to an extreme and he throws himself at me under countless 'thank you's. I avoid him though, growling he has to clean himself first. He nods, smiling brightly and hurries over. I shake my head, not really understanding my own behaviour. In the end I come to the conclusion that it is because he reminds me that much of the beansprout and Alma at the same time._

 _I use the time he's away to phone Komui. I tell him that I killed all the akuma. I also explain about Taiyou. He gets a laughing fit which I interrupt by threatening to kill him. Luckily he comes up with a solution for the problem. Some cities away lives a family who supports the Order. They will take the boy in. Then he says suddenly something that shocks me to no end._

 _"_ _Even though you had no childhood yourself, you would really be a great father!"_

 _That causes me to end the conversation immediately, growling and cursing at him, effectively shocking Taiyou when he comes from the bathroom._

 _"_ _Oi, you have a family?" I ask him, not wanting to rip him away if he had one, even though I doubt it._

 _As expected he shakes his head sadly, "No. I never knew my father. My mother was a prostitute who threw me away as soon as I was born. I was raised by an old woman, but she died last year."_

 _I nod, "I'm leaving today and you are coming with me. Some friends of me found a family not far away you can live with."_

 _His eyes start to waver, "Can't I stay with you? Please."_

 _I shake my head, "No, I can't take you with me. Where I work I can't raise a child, it's too dangerous. And I'm only 20 myself."_

 _He looks like he is about to cry but stops himself._

 _Later that day we depart from the town, he clinging to my coat the entire time. Two hours train ride and half an hour walking later we arrive at the small farm Komui sent me to. They have been informed and welcome Taiyou warmly. I don't stay long but when I want to leave the boy clings to me and cries. I am able to get him off and go. I know he will have it good there so I don't feel any regret about brushing him off._

 _~ end of flashback ~_

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **This scene with Taiyou was something that just came to me. He will reappear later to maybe then his role will become clearer. Plus he is kind of like an indication what will come to Kanda when he returns to the Order.**

 **Please keep on reviewing.**

 **Hope you liked it and see you next chapter.**


	7. Collapse

**Hello everyone,**

 **thanks for the reviews. I am happy you like Taiyou.**

 **To Ryuakilover, that's a great idea. You're right, even though I wasn't thinking about Red when I wrote Taiyou.**

 **Anyway, here's the next chapter and we are getting closer to the main subject of the Story.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. They belong to Katsura Hoshino.**

* * *

I am relieved when I arrive at the HQ, the familiar walls welcoming me. I give my report to Komui, who looks at me worried again, asking if I'm okay. I scoff. Of course I am. Luckily the rabbit is not here at the moment and Linali left earlier. That makes the moyashi the only one who is still here with me. I train the rest of the day in the forest, venting all the anger and disgust I accumulated on the last mission. After a long bath and a meditation I go to bed.

The night is restless for me and again I wake up early. I go over to the training room, not caring about how much noise I am making. I try to meditate again, but it doesn't really work as pictures from this village keep flashing through my mind, for some reason mixing Taiyou and the moyashi into it.

"Fuck!" I finally shout and throw a nearby wooden sword across the room.

I stay there seething for a moment until I hear a small knock on the door. Then it carefully opens and I hear the light voice of the moyashi.

"Kanda? Sorry to bother you… But are you okay?"

I don't lift my gaze, neither answer him, just stay like before. I hear him walking over to me carefully, his apparently bare feet making nearly no noise on the wooden floor. He sits down next to me and after a moment of hesitation starts to rub my back.

"Kanda, what is wrong? You can tell me, you know."

"I'm fine, moyashi," I growl but don't look up as he could spot the lie in my eyes if I did.

"You're not, BaKanda," he softly says, "Come on. You took care of me so many times. Let me return that favour at least once."

I sigh, "I'm okay. It's just that I saw some really disturbing things on my last mission."

He hums and then suddenly draws me into an embrace, "It's okay. I know what you mean. But we are your friends and you can talk to us. Never forget that. Whatever you see you will always be able to return to us."

He smiles at me, a real smile, and for some reason I relax immediately. We stay like that for some moments, then I move out of his arms. He is still smiling and I nod a thanks to him. He laughs slightly.

"No problem, BaKanda. You know that…"

But suddenly he tenses and I hear a repressed curse.

"Moyashi?" I ask alarmed.

He though ignores me and shoots up. I look at him surprised, he only turns and dashes out of the training room. Instinctively I follow him. He runs into one of the public bathrooms, storming over to one of the toilets. As soon as he reaches it he falls down and throws up heavily into it.

"Moyashi!" I shout, kneeling next to him.

I hold his hair back and rub his back the whole time while he is losing his food to the toilet. For me it takes ages until he finally leans back, collapsing against me. I catch him.

"Moyashi! What the fuck is wrong with you?" I nearly yell at him.

"I'm okay…" he answers me, but his voice is not much more than a whisper.

"Don't lie, idiot! You look like you will fucking pass out every second. Tell me what the fuck is wrong with you!" For some reason it angers me greatly that he doesn't tell me and tries to hide his illness.

When he doesn't respond I straighten him up, "Were you even in the fucking infirmary?"

"No, but really, Kanda…" he starts, but then grips his head, groaning deeply.

"No 'but', baka moyashi! I'm taking you to Komui! Now!"

"No… Please… I-I…" he tries to refuse but suddenly he breaks off and goes limp in my arms.

"Oi moyashi!" I shout and when I turn his head to me I see that he has passed out. Shit! Immediately I lift him up on my back and carry him over to Komui's office as it is much nearer than the infirmary. I arrive in front of the door and throw it open.

"Oi Komui! I need your help!" I shout at the scientist, startling him awake.

"Kanda," he says surprised, "Are you okay? Did the mission affect you after all?"

"I'm fine!" I growl at him, "No, it's the moyashi. He collapsed."

I carefully let the white head slide from my back and lay him down on one of the sofas in front of Komui's desk. His eyes widen and he hurries over.

"He's still sick? What happened?"

"I don't know. He came to me in the training room. We talked a bit. Then he suddenly ran away and threw up in the toilet and fucking passed out afterwards."

He nods a bit and then gets down to examine the beansprout. As I don't really know what to do, I stay standing there awkwardly. Some minutes later Allen groans and his eyes slowly open.

"W-Where am I? What happened?"

Komui smiles slightly, "You apparently passed out after throwing up. Kanda brought you to my office," he explains in a soothing tone.

Hardly focused silver orbs wander up to me, searching for confirmation. I snort and nod, "You fainted like a little girl, baka moyashi."

He chuckles and attempts to sit up, but the supervisor pushes him back down.

"Please stay there, Allen. I am not finished with my examination yet."

"But I am fine now."

"That doesn't matter. This can't go on like that. You've been sick for far too long, we have to find out what's wrong with you."

"But I'm fine!" the white head inquires.

"Like shit you're fine! I have seen you throwing up two fucking times and I haven't bloody seen you a lot in the past time. And today you fucking fainted! There is something really wrong with you, baka moyashi!" I yell at him, exasperated and angry.

His eyes widen but he stops to get away after that. I scoff and turn to the door but Komui's voice keeps me from walking away.

"Kanda. Would you please stay here? You need to bring Allen back to his room when I'm finished."

"What? Why me?" I growl.

"You brought him here. So you will bring him back as well. And you were the reason he even left his room to begin with, if I'm correct."

"Che!" I grumble and curse under my breath, but the look the moyashi is sending me keeps me here.

After Komui took a blood sample from the beansprout, he motions the boy to sit up.

"Okay, from what I gathered, I can't tell you what is wrong with you just yet. I will test your blood. So please come tomorrow morning to me, so I can tell you the results, Allen. But for now you can go," the scientist explains.

The white head nods and stands up a bit unsure. He puts on one of his fake smiles and walks over to me. When he arrives I scoff at him, causing him to wince.

"You can walk on your own, can't you, moyashi?"

"Don't worry BaKanda. I don't need your help. And my name is Allen!" he retorts.

"Che!"

And I leave the office, the white head following me after a goodbye to Komui. But some steps away I suddenly hear a very loud growl. I groan and turn to my companion who has blushed.

"Sorry. Could we maybe go to the cafeteria first?"

I turn away and grumble violent curses under my breath, but I change directions to the dining hall. The amount he orders is ridiculous, again twice his normal one. I am really wondering whether the kitchen can feed anyone else apart from him these days. When I ask him when he ate the last time he answers, yesterday morning. I can only shake my head and push my own soba over to him again, because this time he is actually drooling. After that I escort him back to his room and make sure he gets into bed.

When I'm finished with the moyashi I return to the training room. I use the rest of the day to come down and in the evening I spot the beansprout eating dinner with Linali who returned shortly before. I go to bed with an uneasy feeling though. I am actually wondering what the results of Komui's tests will be. What is wrong with the moyashi?

* * *

 **That's it for today. Hope you liked it.**

 **I wanted to ask something, if anyone knows. I have another story with mentions of rape, cutting and sucicide. It's not happening anymore but in the past. Do I have to rate that M already? I would on my own, but sometimes I think it's too high.**

 **See you next chapter and keep on reviewing, please ;)**


	8. You're what! And now?

**Hello everyone,**

 **thanks for the reviews, favourites and follows.**

 **To** **Ryuakilover: Oh, yes, Kanda is. And no one took Allen to the infirmary because he did his best to hide his sickness. He didn't want to be a bother to anyone or appear weak. By the way, thank you very much for reviewing basically every chapter.**

 **Something I wanted to write about since the first chapters: Timeline:**

 **This Story is set before the thing with Alma happened in the manga. So Allen doesn't know about Kanda's past yet. But there is more time between the arc and that part of the manga. I added around a good year. That means it has been about two years since Allen came to the Order. So Allen is 17 and Kanda 20 in the story.**

 **Disclaimer: No, DGM is not mine. I have a whole ton of questions on how the manga is going to end as well as you.**

* * *

~ The next morning while Kanda is still in his room ~

Linali is just walking past her brother's office to bring the scientists their coffee, when she hears a loud scream from it. She recognizes Allen's voice.

"No! That can't be! You know it can't! There must be a mistake!"

Her brother replies soothing the exorcist, but she can't understand. She walks over to the science division do her task.

When she passes her brother's door again later she moves up to it, trying to find out what got her friend so agitated.

"Oh god!" Allen groans.

"So who – (she can't understand that part through the door)?" Komui asks seriously.

The white head only groans, not answering.

"Allen, who?"

She can't understand the mumbled reply, but if she had to guess she would say it was 'Kanda'.

"Oh," again is Komui's voice heard, "Well, you will have to tell him. And soon. We will discuss the rest when you two have made your decision."

Allen groans again. By now Linali has gotten worried. So she pushes the door open and enters.

"I got your coffee here, brother!"

Her friend has buried his face in his hands and appears to be slightly flushed. Komui is sitting at his desk, a serious expression on, which immediately softens when she enters.

"Hello, my darling sister! Thank you very much!" he chirps and runs over to her, hugging the girl.

"Allen? Is everything okay?" she asks curious, "What did you two talk about?"

The white head lifts his face back up and smiles at her, "I am fine, Linali. Don't worry. It was nothing big your brother wanted to talk to me about. If you would excuse me now. I'm really hungry."

And with that he bows and heads out of the office, a growl of his stomach confirming his words. The girl looks at her brother. But he only shakes his head, telling her that it's for Allen alone to explain. She lets a worried gaze follow him but doesn't question further.

She tries to keep an eye on the white head the whole day. Though nothing strange happens. Only when at lunch she calls Kanda over to their table, she notices that Allen starts fidgeting and trying to get away from the Japanese. One of his hands is rubbing something under the table she can't see. The raven as well appears to be even more irritated than he usually is.

* * *

~ Back to Kanda ~

It's evening and I am back in my room. That day sure was nerve-wracking. Luckily I only saw the moyashi at lunch today and was able to distract myself from wondering over the test results for the rest of the time. Now I am sitting on my bed, meditating. Though the beansprout's strange behaviour earlier doesn't leave my mind.

Suddenly there is a careful knock on the door. I growl as I hate it to be interrupted in meditating.

"What?"

"Kanda? It's me, Allen…" his voice sounds unsure, nearly frightened.

"Che, come in!" I scoff, maybe he came to tell me about the results, even though I can't think of any reason why he would do that.

He slowly opens the door and steps in. He closes it soundlessly behind him. His eyes dart around, taking in my room, his gaze going everywhere but me. I quirk an eyebrow, starting to get impatient.

"What is it, moyashi?"

For a moment his gaze darts up to my face, but immediately falls down again. Then he speaks, in a low voice, but with a serious tone.

"We need to talk, Kanda!"

I cross my arms, "About what?" I growl not liking the fact that he didn't even talk back on his hated nickname.

He starts fidgeting with his fingers, standing awkwardly at the door. I roll my eyes.

"Come over, moyashi. You're looking stupid standing there. And I don't want you fainting again."

That earns me at least a glare. But nonetheless he walks over to me and sits down on the opposite corner of the mattress. His hands are in his lap and so is his gaze, again. What the hell is wrong with him? That's not the behaviour I am used to from him and it irritates me to no end.

"So what? Speak up, moyashi!"

"Well… About-About that night…" he murmurs.

Oh shit! Of course I know which night he means. I can't stop myself from blushing slightly and his cheeks are dusted red as well. I keep quiet though, waiting what exactly he means.

"I know it sounds weird… More unbelievable… But it's true… At least Komui says so… You see that night… What we did… And apparently the Innocence did something… And so it came to that… And now I wanted to ask you… Because I mean you're… And I don't want to kill it…."

Useless parts of sentences come out of his mouth and as much as I try I am not able to figure out what the hell he wants to tell me. He is fidgeting again and not meeting my gaze.

"Moyashi, stop it!" I interrupt him harshly, "You are rambling. I can't understand a bloody thing you're saying!"

I grip his chin and force him to look into my eyes. He tenses up, but doesn't try to move away.

"Alright, now take a breath. And tell me clearly what the fuck you want to say!" I grumble at him.

"Okay, well Komui told me the test results today. You remember I threw up in the morning, passed out and was even hungrier than usual. And from that and my blood sample he found out that-that I am…"

I can't catch the last word because it's said so silently that even in this close distance I can't hear it. I lean in even closer. His breath hitches and his orbs fill with fright.

"You are what, moyashi? Can you speak the hell up?"

He rips himself free from me and moves away, avoiding my gaze again. But he repeats what he said.

"He-he told me that I-I am… pregnant…!"

Second! Wait! Rewind! What?! What the fuck?! He didn't just say what I think he did! Did he? His face says yes. But how the fuck is that supposed to be possible? The moyashi's a boy. I, ahem, saw it back then. Boys can't get pregnant! Even I know that. A look in his eyes though tells me he is speaking the truth but is as confused over it as I am.

Nonetheless I can't bring myself to say anything not even move for that matter. I simply sit there, my jaw hanging down, staring at him incredulously. He turns his gaze down and closes his eyes, resigned. It looks like he is awaiting to be beaten by me or something.

Finally I am able to speak again, "A-Are you serious?"

He looks down and nods.

I notice he is shaking. He is too thin as well and under his eyes are dark bags. He looks exhausted and completely lost. He is not the beansprout I know and for some reason I feel my chest tighten at that.

"But how? You're a boy…"

"Komui said something about the Innocence in my body making it possible. Apparently it's not the first time this happened. And he also mentioned that it maybe had something to do with you, your blood. I didn't really understand it though. It just… It's so confusing."

He is shaking even worse now. His hands are clenched and he is staring into his lap. Out of instinct I lean forward and pull him into my arms. He looks up at me shocked, but relaxes soon and starts to cling to me for dear life. Shortly after he starts to cry, sobbing into my shoulder. I don't move, only hold him until exhaustion takes over and he drops asleep in my arms. I sigh and lay him down on my bed. He needs the rest so I won't complain for now and just let him sleep. I draw the covers over his pale form and keep watching him.

I let all the things that happened since that night replay in my mind. We slept together. Then over one month later he starts throwing up and eats even more than normal. He has dizzy spells and gets more emotional. Even though I basically know nothing about pregnancies I have heard of morning sickness as well. But I would never have thought that would be why the beansprout threw up. But now… How is that supposed to work? He's a boy and his body is not made for that.

And why did he tell me that anyway? I am the one he likes the least in the Order. Well he told me his problems before but this today was different. He didn't only speak. He said we 'need to talk' meaning I had to participate too. My part? Wait a second! We slept with each other. And I don't think he did it with many other males. Shit! I think I know why he told me. I groan and burry my face in my hands. Great, the only thing I wanted was to help him out to feel alive. And now? I really don't know what to do anymore!

I groan again, then sigh and lay down next to the white head. Tomorrow we will have to talk about this quite some more, so I would say I need my rest too. My head hurts as well already.

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **So now we know what is wrong with Allen, but I assume most guessed already due to the warnings above the first chapter ;)**

 **Anyway, another question. This time about the plot of the original manga. Who hasn't read the new chapters (219-221) please scroll away, Spoiler alert!**

 **If I understood correctly Mana and Neah are one and the same person, the Millenium Earl (correct me if I'm wrong). But there were scenes where all three were together. How is that possible?**

 **If anyone knows the answer, please write in it in a review.**

 **Hope you like the story and see you at the next chapter ^^**


	9. I won't leave you alone

**Hello everyone,**

 **thanks for the reviews as always and to the guest who answered my question.**

 **Disclaimer: I wouldn't be writing here if I owned DGM, would I?**

* * *

When I awake the next morning the first thing I spot is white. Apparently the moyashi has over the night moved and cuddled himself into my chest. Not that I really mind, his face looks relaxed for once and that's good.

Then what happened yesterday evening comes back to my mind. The moyashi saying that he is pregnant! Shit! Apparently it wasn't just a dream! Fuck! I groan deeply and burry my head in the mattress. After a bit of staying like that I lift my face back up and carefully glance over to the white head. My eyes trace his face and then go lower. For some reason my mind starts to make up pictures of him with a round stomach. I curse and hit myself on the head to stop that shit.

I am contemplating waking the moyashi for a moment, but exactly then he stiffens and groans, indicating he's awakening by himself. His eyelids flutter open heavily. He takes in my face for a moment and his eyes widen, then he changes to a resigned expression. Though that only lasts for a second as well, because soon he tenses up and shoots upright, a hand covering his mouth. He scrambles out of bed, nearly knocking me off it in the process and storms to my bathroom.

After a moment of shock I hurry up and follow him, knowing what will come. I only hope he doesn't pass out again. At least now we know the reason, it's morning sickness. That doesn't change the fact that it's surely not nice to witness. I sit next to him and rub his back the whole time. I am glad that I have a strong stomach or I would have vomited as well. He sways when he's finished so I catch him and lean his back against the bathroom wall. I grab a glass with water and hand it to him. He gives me a thankful look and empties it fast. He stands up shakily and I follow him back to the bed. He lets himself fall down on it, settling in a half-sitting position. I climb on it next to him.

After a bit of awkward silence I speak up. There are still so many questions I have that even I can't contain them.

"So… What you said yesterday is true?"

He nods, his gaze dropping down again.

"The Innocence made it possible… How and why?"

"I don't know. Komui said he would explain it to me more today."

"Will you… You know, can your body handle it?"

He throws me an offended look, "Yes, he said apart from the birth it won't be different from a normal pregnancy. And I'm not that weak!"

"That's not what I meant. And what about you? What do you think?"

"Well, it's confusing as hell and I'm scared, but on the other hand it's a real miracle…" he has started shaking again, one hand laying on his stomach.

I watch him, concern in my eyes as well.

"Who knows?"

"Apart from me only Komui, who found it out, and you."

"And you told me because…" I say, dreading the answer I already know.

He cringes, "You know why I told you…"

"Yeah…" I lower my head, "Because I'm the father…"

He nods again, closing his eyes as if awaiting an outburst from me.

"Kanda, I… I'm sorry! I didn't mean to… I mean I didn't even know that something like this could happen…"

I look at him confused, "Why are you apologizing?"

"Well, it was me who convinced you to sleep with me that night. I never wanted to bring you into this kind of situation."

I shake my head absent-mindedly, "It's not your fault. Neither of us knew this could happen. And I shouldn't have agreed either."

We silence again, then I ask the question which was bugging me from the beginning.

"Moyashi, you… What are you planning to do now?"

He smiles a shaky smile, "Even though I'm really afraid and I am pretty young. I… I want to keep it. I can't just kill an innocent live. I know it will be complicated as I am an exorcist and a man, so we will have to keep it a secret from Central, but I could never abort it or give it away."

I groan and burry my face in my hands. I knew his answer would be something like that. He is far too kind-hearted to kill the baby. But how does he think that will work out? He's alone and only 17. Not to mention that he would have to hide from the church. Taiyou comes back to my mind and me saying that I can't take him, because I consider myself with 20 years too young to have children. And here is the moyashi, three years younger than me and ready to raise one all by himself. Also Komui's idiotic words about me being a good father come back to me. I clench my fists. Shit! This situation is so fucked up. What am I going to do anyway? The moyashi is keeping the baby and it is my child as well… Am I really planning on leaving him alone with it, saying it was his fault? No, even I can't do that, especially not to the moyashi.

He has turned to me in the meantime, "Kanda, I won't force you to help me. I understand if you say that you don't want to have anything to do with me anymore or the child. I won't give it away, but if you think you're not in for this I'm fine with that."

Without thinking I scoff my answer back at him.

"Are you stupid, moyashi? Do you really think I'm going to leave you alone in this shit? It's my fault as well, so I will look after you in the next months."

His face lights up for the first time for what seems like an eternity for me, "Really? Thank you so much Kanda! I always knew you had a soft side as well. I really like you."

He throws himself at me, succeeding in tackling me back to the bed. I groan and question myself for my actions, dreading where I got myself into now. But the moyashi is happy for once and that's all that counts at the moment. I pat his head one time then slowly start getting him off me.

He is still grinning at me. I clear my throat.

"That doesn't mean though that I will play all happy family with you, understood? And now get out of bed, you have to eat and we have to visit that idiot Komui."

His gaze saddens slightly, but he does as I say and jumps from the covers. Soon we're at the cafeteria. This time I only roll my eyes at him amount of food, I know the reason after all. Linali visits us, asking if something happened. We both answer with 'nothing' as it is better to keep Allen's condition a secret for now. Later we go over to the supervisor's office.

When we walk in the moyashi starts to slightly shiver again, apparently being afraid of what is going to be told to us. The room is messy and strangely enough Komui isn't sleeping. He is standing at the side near the pass-through to the science division. With him are River, Johnny and two scientists whose names I can't remember even if I tried. I send a glare to Komui. He notices when we walk some steps closer to them. When he recognize who it is his gaze wavers, then he turns to the others with a stern look.

"Thanks for telling me about the results. You can go now please. I have urgent and personal matters to attend to," at that he sends us a look, "River you can stay. The others I would ask to leave now."

The three exchange confused gazes. The two I don't know turn to head out immediately. Only Johnny stays and looks between Komui and Allen worried. The moyashi inches a bit behind me, like searching for safety. Again, why with me? The supervisor finally convinces the small man to leave as well, but not without a last concerned look. Komui walks over to his desk, River following him, and sits down. I shove the moyashi to one of the couches and force him to sit down.

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **Kanda discovering his soft side...**

 **Hope you liked it, Keep on reviewing and see you at the next chapter.**


	10. Explanation

**Hello everyone,**

 **After eight days of learning math six hours a day I can write again. Urgh, if I see any of that this weekend I am gonna flip.**

 **Anway** **here's the next chapter.**

 **Disclaimer: DGM belongs to Katsura Hoshino not me.**

* * *

"So I take it Allen informed you, Kanda?"

I nod reluctantly.

"And you agree to the same story as he told me?"

I frown, not knowing what the moyashi said exactly. The white head himself is burying his now red face in his hands. River sends looks at us, changing between pity and curiosity.

"He said that at a mission around one and a half months back after his encounter with Rhode you and Allen spent the night together. Nothing more happened."

I nod, forcing my own blush down. River's eyes widen and he splutters.

"Sorry to interrupt. But you really mean you two slept with each other? I thought you two hated the other. Are you in some kind of relationship?" the scientist interrupts in an incredulous voice.

This time I blush as well. Allen looks ready for the earth to swallow him so it's on me to answer.

"No, we're not in some stupid relationship! It was a fucking once and only act in an emergency! Idiotic thought!" I scoff aggressively, overlooking the look of hurt crossing the moyashi's face and the slight sting in my chest.

Komui throws his friend a stern nearly angry look, telling him to stop asking. When I look behind me I see the moyashi quivering again. What is wrong with him? Does that pregnancy thing drain him that much? It really hurts to see him like that, even me. So I sit down next to him, nudging his shoulder to reassure him. He looks at me with a pained expression, which sends a stab through my chest. Then he lets himself fall against me, burying his face in my shoulder and clinging to my arm for dear life. Reluctantly I lift my free hand and move it once through his tangled white strands. River stares with astonishment at the affection I display while Komui only smiles knowingly. I send them a glare.

"We won't judge you Allen. No one here has anything against you two being together," he tries to soothe the boy.

And for once I don't retort either, about us not being together. Though I can feel the white head calm down after it. Silence stretches over the room until the moyashi carefully glances up again and Komui clears his throat.

"So I take it you two have made a decision?"

The beansprout sits up, but doesn't let go of my arm, and faces the supervisor with a firm gaze.

"I am keeping it. And Kanda agreed to help me."

"You did?" Komui inquires towards me.

"Che," I scoff but nod, feeling the grip on my arm tighten.

"But I have some questions!" I voice out slightly aggressive.

"I bet Allen has too. Don't worry I will answer them as good as I can," the supervisor says, "River you read the folder I gave you, didn't you? And something else. Everything that is going to be said in this room now, is not to leave it. You are not allowed to tell anyone of it, unless we discussed it. You two can let your friends Linali and Lavi in if you feel ready for it, but maybe beware of bookman."

We all nod, shocked at his serious tone. I feel the moyashi inch closer to me again. I sigh and groan inwardly. I am really questioning whether it was a good idea agreeing to it, regarding how clingy the beansprout is already.

"Okay, what do you want to know?"

Before the moyashi can say something I scoff, "How the hell was that possible to happen?"

"Ah, yeah. I'm not sure. Apparently the Innocence in Allen's body is partly at fault for that. Because he is a parasitic user, the substance is able to have an effect on the rest of his body as well. Like back then when it healed the hole in his heart. And this time it apparently affected his reproductive system. From what we found out this wasn't the first time that happened. River, do you have the report?"

"Ah, yes," the other answers surprised, opening one of the files in his arms, "Here. Around 50 years back, a parasitic exorcist by the name of Shion Kasayama was discovered to have a relationship with his also male colleague Luciano Contega. It was found out because Shion showed strange symptoms such as throwing up in the mornings, stomach pains and fainting spells. Practically what Allen has been going through lately. After research from the science department he was diagnosed to be pregnant. No reason how this happened was found back then. It was suspected to be the Innocence's fault. Shion gave birth to a boy successfully. The child was adopted by a finder who left the Order afterwards. This was a secret record from the supervisor of that time. It was never made official or showed to Central to avoid punishment for the two lovers."

After he finished reading we are all silent. The moyashi has pressed himself into my side again, one arm laying protectively over his stomach. My grip on the boy has also unconsciously tightened. Komui is staring at us expectantly over his crossed fingers. One thing through irks me.

"There is something different to our story though, isn't it? From what you said these two men were in a long relationship. Is that correct?" I inquire.

River nods, "The report says, they admitted to have been together for over ten years before it happened."

"You noticed as well?" Komui asks me, while the moyashi looks only confused and exhausted.

"Yeah. While these two were together for long. The moyashi and me… well, we only did it once, while these two… needed far more times…"

God this is difficult to word out and embarrassing to top it off. The moyashis is blushing heavily as well by now and I run my hand unconsciously through his white hair to calm both him and me down. River's cheeks have a slightly pink hue too.

"That's true. And for pure chance it's too differentiating. But I guess I have an explanation for that. Though maybe you have to add some information for Allen later, Kanda."

I raise an eyebrow, not liking where this is going. He continues.

"Your body is not exactly normal, you know that. Maybe it was that and your special genes as a second exorcist that made it possible for the organs to be created in a far faster pace than it was back then, ending in Allen conceiving at your first time."

I groan. Sure, that again. My life wasn't already fucked up enough because of that shitty program I came from. The moyashi looks at me questioningly, mouthing 'second exorcist'. I cringe and tell him to ask later. I don't want to talk about that.

"S-So…" the beansprout speaks up for the second time since we arrived in the room, his voice is wavering, "What exactly is now happening in my body?"

"Well from what I can tell your body created something like an artificial womb in which a child is now growing, but I can't say anything specific before I do an ultrasound. The baby is connected to your system practically like in a woman's body, only that there is connection to your Innocence as well."

"W-Will something change in the next months?"

Komui chuckles, "Well in some months you will start to grow a belly but that's normal."

"That means it is going to happen like a woman's pregnancy?" he asks with a hopeful voice.

"Practically, yes. Only the birth is different. Obviously you can't give birth a natural way because you have no birth channel where the baby could come out. But that's no problem. We will do a C-section when it's time. That will probably be even less painful than if you had to do it the natural way."

Again Allen squeezes my arm. I haven't stopped caressing his hair because it gives me a calmer feeling as well. And helps keeping me sane in this weird situation.

"Are there any risks?" the beansprout's small voice asks.

"There are always risks in a pregnancy. A miscarriage is always possible. But if you mean whether the risks are higher for you than for a female. Not really, no. Though we can never be sure, there weren't that much cases we can get information from."

For another time my arm is used as some kind of squeezing pillow. This time it starts to seriously get uncomfortable, so I carefully try to pry the boy off.

"Moyashi. You're squeezing my arm to death! Let me go!" I scoff at him, causing frightened eyes to shoot up at my face.

"Kanda, I…" he starts, but I cut him off.

"At least lighten your hold. I can't feel my hand anymore!"

He looks down but complies.

"So, Kanda. You will support Allen during the next months?"

I groan, are they stupid? How many times do I have to say that?

"Yes, for goodness's sake!" I growl.

"May I ask why? You never seemed to care before?"

"Che, it's my responsibility as well, so I will look after the moyashi."

I notice how the white head stiffens at the word 'responsibility', but I decide to ignore it.

"Okay, well I just wanted to assure that you know what you get yourself into."

"Che, I got myself into it the moment I agreed to the moyashi to sleep with him," I scoff while Allen blushes again.

As an afterthought something slips out of my mouth. I didn't really plan on saying it and it's completely silent, originally for no one to understand. But Allen has pretty keen hearing and doesn't miss my words.

"But I can't say I really regret it…"

He smiles and snuggles himself in my side.

"Thank you!" he mumbles silently.

The two scientists are eyeing us strangely, "Are you sure you two aren't together?"

I only give them a glare, promising death. So Komui clears his throat.

"Okay, so now that we cleared that. There are quite some things you will have to look after. I will make you special medicine for your body to being able to handle it better, Allen. You will start taking it at the beginning of your third month. You're off missions until some months after the delivery. I will try to keep Kanda here as well, but it will be difficult since I can't pretend an injury for him either. Also no sparring until the birth is over, Allen. Some small trainings are allowed in the beginning but don't overexert yourself. And no Innocence activation in that time, understood? You will need more rest than usual. As well as more food, I guess I should warn the kitchen. I will give you a list what you should eat and what you shouldn't. You will have morning sickness for some time but it will go away over the months. Of course other things will occur to you, but about that you two can research by yourselves in the library. There should be enough pregnancy books. Kanda, you will look after what he eats and does. Also you will assist him through everything Allen has to put up with. And please don't snap when he is being annoying because of mood-swings. But like I said I probably can't keep you with him the whole time so maybe you should tell it someone pretty soon, so there is a person who can look after Allen."

After Komui has finished his explanation I am shocked into silence and am trying my best in progressing all that, though I have the feeling my brain is overflowing. And the moyashi looks even worse. He is pale and pressing his shivering form into my side. I lay an arm around his back and let him cuddle close.

"But we can't stay here in the HQ until the birth, can we?" I ask bluntly causing the moyashi's eyes to widen even more.

Komui sadly shakes his head, "No, I fear you can't. As soon as Allen starts showing you will have to leave here. I really don't want to know what would happen if Central found out. For one you two together would be a sin in their opinion. Second, they would want to experiment on Allen and the baby. And they would never allow a child of a second exorcist and someone with a Noah inside of them."

I nod. I thought that. Suddenly I notice how cold the moyashi is by now, small tremors running over his skin.

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **Hope it makes at least some sense.**

 **Thanks for the reviews and everything else, keep that on and see you next chapter.**


	11. Break down

**Hello everyone,**

 **I haven't been to Fanfiction since last Saturday, so I don't know what to write here now.**

 **Both Allen and Kanda are somehow OOC in this chapter, sorry ;)**

 **Disclaimer: Not mine, never was and never will.**

* * *

 _Suddenly I notice how cold the moyashi is by now, small tremors running over his skin._

"Moyashi? You okay?" I ask, lifting his face up to me.

"Please don't let them take it!" he is shivering, a hand on his abdomen, "Don't let them hurt the baby. I couldn't stand to lose another important person."

"God moyashi!" I sigh and instinctively pull him into an embrace, "Calm down! Nobody will hurt any of you, okay? I will protect you."

"Thank you. I know you will. Kanda, I l – " but he breaks suddenly off, holding his head.

"Moyashi?" I ask worried.

"K-Kanda… I d-don't think I f-feel s-so g-good… I…" he stutters out and then suddenly falls limp in my arms.

"Shit! Moyashi? What's wrong?" I lift him up, his face close to mine, "Komui what's happening to him?"

"Calm down, Kanda. I just think the stress of the last two days got to him. He needs more rest than normal and from what I can tell he didn't sleep enough in the past weeks, so his body is taking the needed rest now. Bring him back to his room and stay with him. I think that's what he needs now. Then he will maybe get back to his normal persona. It would be good if he could manage that, so it would be less suspicious. You can come in tomorrow and get the needed documents and we will do an ultrasound."

I can only nod. Then I scoff and lift the small boy up, bridal style.

"And take my suggestion. Tell someone soon. I would advise Linali. And I'm not saying that because she's my darling sweet innocent little sister. No, because she would understand and help without problems," Komui calls out a last time.

"Che, I know," I only scoff and head out.

His next words follow me into the corridor, "Thank you for looking after Allen. I know how much you care about your comrades, especially him, even though you never show anything."

I only 'che' and fasten my movements to get away.

I walk through the hallways with the white head in my arms, ignoring the strange looks I get from the ones passing me. Nonetheless I chose less populated corridors to get there to avoid at least closer acquaintances (luckily the baka usagi is on mission at the moment). When I arrive at the moyashi's room I lay him down on the bed, tug him in and sit next to the bed in that creepy room after I locked the door.

* * *

He sleeps for a long time. After ten minutes of only watching him I decide to occupy myself with one of his books. To my surprise I notice he has quite many over Japan. Japanese myths, samurai stories and even some culture books. I take one of the novels as I know enough about the country myself. When the moyashi finally wakes up it's close to five in the evening. This time though it's not with a start. His eyes drift open carefully. I am concentrated on my book so I don't notice until he softly chuckles, startling me.

"Moyashi? You're awake?"

"Yeah," his face saddens, "Have you ever noticed that you make faces while reading?"

"Shut up!" I feel my cheeks heat up at my embarrassing habit, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Don't worry…"

He trails off and sits up. He draws his legs up and wraps his arms around them. He starts slightly shivering as well again. I am getting worried. This behaviour is so not Allen that it seriously frightens me. His head drops on his knees and he cuddles himself close.

"Oi, moyashi. Is something wrong?"

"N-No, I-I'm…"

"Don't you dare say you're fine! Don't fucking lie! You're shaking! That's in no fucking way anywhere near your normal annoying behaviour!" I snap at him. Damn, why does he insist on playing strong?

"I… It's just so frightening. There-There is something going wrong with my body… I'm bringing a c-child into this world! A n-new life! A-And I'm only 17! I'm n-not even an adult myself! P-Plus I'm a b-boy! That shouldn't e-even happen to me! And I h-have to hide it! They w-would k-kill me and the b-baby otherwise! The-They will be hunting me and-and…"

I am shocked by his voice. It is shaking beyond belief, breaking now and then, heavy with tears. He has started to cry by now, wetting the sheets over his knees. His whole body is shaking. Choked sobs are running through him, the pale skin nearly translucent and his eyes a dull, lifeless grey.

"I'm so a-afraid of what w-will happen! O-Of Central! Of the p-pregnancy and the b-birth! Of f-failing! A-And there is a w-war going on h-here! I-I c-can't…"

"Moyashi!" I yell, cutting him off, "What the fuck is wrong with you? Pull yourself together! This is nothing compared to what you've been through!" I climb next to him on the bed, trying to get him out of his curled up position.

"I-I can't! T-This is t-too m-much! I-I c-can't…"

"Baka moyashi! Stupid Allen!" I yell and then hit him directly across the cheek, "Rip the fuck out of this! Thanks to your stupid talking I know practically everything about your past! I bloody know what you've been through! And this is nothing compared to it! Pull yourself the fuck together! You're Allen Walker, the one person who saved everyone in that fucking ark fiasco! The Allen I know would never behave like that!"

With my last word I give him another slap, making his head snap to the other side. I stop shouting, breathing hard, seething with rage. His eyes widen, but to my relief turn back to their normal sparkling silver. He slowly lifts one hand, putting it on his now red cheek. The tense body relaxes slightly, knees lowering a bit. Very slowly his face turns back to me.

"K-Kanda…?" A weak voice, but the crying stopped and it's not breaking anymore.

"You're so annoying, moyashi," I sigh, but ruffle his hair relieved.

A weak smile, "I'm sorry, Kanda. And my name is Allen."

"Thank god, you're back to normal. Really, how many times do I have to stop you in fucking breaking down?" I scoff, annoyed by his behaviour.

He again cuddles himself close but this time he isn't shivering.

"Sorry, really. It is just confusing. And it's so different from everything I have faced until now. In a fight I know what to do and what I'm up to. But this…"

I sigh, but nonetheless squeeze his shoulder, "I know. It is for me too. But you're not in it alone. So stay strong and you will be able to face this and manage it like every time before."

He looks up, causing me to ever so slightly blush, because of the words that basically involuntarily came out of my mouth without thinking. His eyes light up and a broad smile comes over his face.

"Really thank you, Kanda. I never knew you could say something like that."

I smirk, "Better be quiet now moyashi or I might just take it back."

"Yes, yes. But my name is Allen."

"Che"

He chuckles but then goes back to a serious face, "Kanda, what did Komui mean earlier with 'second exorcist'?"

I cringe. Shit! I hoped I wouldn't have to explain that, or at least not so soon. I don't want to tell him, it would damage his image of the Order far too much and trust is what he needs now.

"Can you do me a favour, moyashi? Trust me for once. I promise to tell you when this is all over, but for now it is better for you not to know."

"Kanda?" he seems to be stunned but also worried, "What is – "

"I said no, moyashi. It's nothing I fucking want to talk about," I scoff back irritated.

Luckily his retort is prevented by a loud growl from his stomach. He blushes.

"Ah yeah, it's dinner time and I missed lunch. So can we head for the cafeteria please?" he murmurs.

I mutter a 'glutton' under my breath but fortunately he doesn't catch it. He crawls out of the bed, a bit unsure on the feet and makes me concerned that he will faint again for a moment, but catches his balance soon.

"Yeah, we have to get down. Linali will be worried that I haven't shown myself the whole day," he stretches, making me frown at the noises.

"By the way about her…"

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **Hope to see you next chapter.**


	12. A talk with Linali

**Hello everyone,**

 **thanks for the reviews as always.**

 **Disclaimer: I have never and will never own DGM.**

* * *

So shortly later we are both sitting on one of the tables, unfortunately next to each other. Come to think about it I didn't have any moyashi-free time today. How the hell did I survive this? I hope this will get better in the next time again. At least after his last breakdown he is back to his normal behaviour, like before all this shit started. Next time he goes whinny again, I'll just hit him and hope it will work.

As predicted the amount of food the beansprout ordered was huge, even though I don't think this word quite catches it. Even Jerry was shocked. The white head had to go twice to collect all the plates. Now he's sitting there, happily munching his food, looking better than he did for weeks. I have finished my soba long time ago.

"Hey Allen, Kanda," a feminine voice comes from the left.

We both look up, to see a smiling girl with chin-length hair standing there.

"Hewo, Wiwawi," the moyashi replies through a mouth of curry rice.

I roll my eyes and hit him on the back of his head, causing him to pout. Linali sweat-drops, shortly scolds the white head about talking full-mouthed, then sits downs opposite him and starts to eat her own salad.

The beansprout has just finished his mountain when she speaks up after having put her empty plate away.

"So, you two are acting different than usual. Did anything happen lately?"

We both exchange a look. We talked about that earlier and decided to use the first opportunity we get to tell the girl. So Allen nods.

"Yeah, we need to tell you something. But not here," he stands up, Linali following suit.

"Fine, follow me," I growl and get up as well, heading to my room.

We walk through the hallways, the moyashi inching closer to me while the girl is sending both of us worried looks from behind. I arrive and push the door open roughly. I nudge the moyashi over to the bed. Linali sits on the only chair in the room while I join the white head.

"So why are we here, Kanda? Why in your room?" the girl carefully asks.

"Because we fucking need to talk, but no one should bloody hear it. And the stupid people know better than to come in my room. Other than in moyashi's creepy one." I'm a bit tense.

"It's not creepy," Allen defends it, pouting at me, but I can see the nervousness in his eyes as well. His hands are fiddling, now and then running across his stomach.

We both quiet, not even able to indulge in one of our normal fights. The girl's gaze gets even more worried. The moyashi's left hand next to me is shaking again, while his right one is laying on his abdomen. Instinctively I reach out and grab the black hand to stop it from shaking and prevent another breakdown. One is enough for a day.

"Guys. Seriously, what is wrong? Please tell me, I am getting frightened," Linali inquires.

"Okay, you see… Ahem… How do I start? Well, you remember I wasn't so well the past time…" the white head starts carefully, returning the squeeze of my hand.

"Yeah, Kanda said you had a stomach flu, because you threw up and talked about stomach pains. But what does this have to do with this?" she asks carefully back.

"You see, it wasn't exactly a stomach flu…"

"What then? Allen, is it serious?" her voice starts to waver.

"No, it's nothing dangerous. Well, I threw up every morning, I was over-tired, hungry more than ever and dizzy sometimes. I, ah, you know… Your brother proved it and…"

Her brow furrows, "I don't think I know what you mean, Allen. If you were a girl I would say you're pregnant but as a boy…"

She trails off when she notices him blushing at the mention of his condition. He squeezes my hand again, this time digging his long nails in my skin, causing me to wince and trying to pry his hand off mine.

"Allen…?" her voice is changing to dangerous.

He looks down and only grabs my hand again hard.

"Ow, moyashi! You're fucking squashing my hand!" I yell at him and pull it away, small drops of blood running down the back of it.

"I'm sorry, Kanda…" he says, looking down.

"Pull yourself the hell together, moyashi. Not another fucking breakdown!" I reach my already healed hand back out and take his again, intertwining them so he can't hurt me as easily anymore, I mumble, "Maybe it was too early to tell someone."

"No, no, it's okay," he says then he looks up at Linali.

"It is true."

"What is true?" she asks incredulously.

"What you said… The-The symptoms…"

"The… Wait! No way! You're joking, right? You can't be…!" she's stuttering.

Allen shakes his head and I snort, "No, I'm not joking."

"That means… You're really… pregnant?!" she nearly screams.

"Be fucking quiet!" I hiss, "This has to be kept fucking secret!"

"Yeah, Kanda's right. But yes, it's true. I am," the moyashi confirms.

Silence stretches over the room and I notice how the beansprout gets more nervous by the second, so I shortly rub my thumb over his hand to calm him. It earns me a thankful look from him. Linali's mouth is hanging open while her mind seems to be progressing what she just got told. After some minutes of silence the girl finally reacts but not as the moyashi predicted.

She squeals loudly and jumps up, hugging the startled white head. I let him go and the two fall back on the mattress making me frown. Allen's eyes are wide with surprise.

"I'm so happy, Allen! You are getting a child, I'm happy for you!"

She grins happily, letting him sit up. He still looks startled, but relieved nonetheless. I pull him upright while the girl settles on his other side.

"U-Uh… T-Thanks Linali. So… You're not disgusted… or something?" he asks carefully.

"Why would I be disgusted? Surprised sure. It's not exactly normal, but not at all bad. I am looking forward to a little Allen running around the Order," she grins, petting his head.

He smiles genuine at her. I look at them with a soft look, while they hug each other again. I am glad that went well, another breakdown could have ended badly.

"So," she detaches herself from the moyashi and smirks at me, "What's Kanda doing here? Why does he know?"

I only scoff and turn my head away from her. The white head blushes and avoids her eyes. Her grin spreads.

"Oh, I knew it! You're the father, aren't you? Or other father maybe, but whatever!" she blabbers out excitedly.

"Yeah…" I mutter reluctantly, the moyashi is keeping his red face down.

"I'm so happy for you!" she squeals again, this time throwing herself at me, both of us not noticing the short frown crossing the moyashi's face, "So you did it! You finally are a couple?"

"What? No! We're not together!" I yell back, getting myself out of her arms.

She looks confused, "I don't want to be impolite or something but for Allen to be having a baby… You two must have slept with each other, didn't you?"

The white head blushes even more, creating a nice contrast to his hair, but making his scar not stand out anymore. I blush as well, averting my face.

"Well, yeah… But only, ahem…"

"Some kind of one-night-stand?" she asks confused.

"No!" we both immediately shout.

We look at each other for a moment surprised, then Allen looks down and mumbles, "No, it was after my encounter with Rhode. I… felt pretty insecure and, ah, Kanda helped me…"

"Hm," she puts a finger on her chin, contemplating, "Whatever you say. I still think there is more…"

I groan, "There isn't."

"So, you're becoming parents! That's cool!" she inches forward, carefully putting a hand on the moyashi's stomach, "How far along are you, if I may ask?"

"About one and a half months I think…"

"Wow, how did this work anyway?"

"Hm, it was the Innocence in my body which created a womb or something."

She is fawning over the moyashi's abdomen, making him blush again and bringing me close to chuckling. Then he clears his throat.

"Linali, what we have told you just now, has to stay a secret. Nobody can know I'm with child. Central mustn't know. They would kill us for homosexuality or abduct us to experiment on us. You can't speak about this to anyone apart from us and Komui and River, who know about it as well. We will most likely tell Lavi at the time, but until then keep it a secret from him as well please. Also we will have to leave the Order at some time."

"I understand. So why did you exactly tell me anyway?"

"We need your help. I can't go on missions. Also your brother said I always need someone to look after me. Usually it would be Kanda because it's his child, but he probably can't stay the whole time. Komui can't keep him completely off missions. And that's where you come in. We wanted to ask whether you could help me while Kanda is away."

She grins broadly, "Sure, I would love to. I can't wait to go baby shopping and whatnot."

He smile softly back, "Thanks a lot. But you can't go out like that. It's a secret."

"I know," she ruffles his hair, "But I can still go buying things for it and give it to you in secret. Or we could go together and they would just assume I'm the pregnant one."

She is bustling happy on about. The moyashi's grin spreads and he starts to laugh. It looks like the whole stress from the previous days finally fell off him. Linali grins and continues blabbering about how she's looking forward to it. I look at them and don't even notice how a (small) smile comes to my face as well. Until I hear a gasp.

"Kanda! You're smiling!"

Both are looking at me incredulous. I hastily scowl.

"What is it?" I scoff.

But the moyashi only grins and throws himself at me, succeeding in tackling me to the bed, "You smiled! I have never seen you smile before! It looks great!"

"Oi, moyashi! Get off me!" I yell, trying to push him away, while he is nuzzling my chest.

Linali is watching us struggling with a tender smile, laughing. She is thinking that this behaviour proves that there is more than just some responsibility and comradery, signs of true affection, even love for each other.

Nonetheless we are both happy that she agreed and approved. She leaves some time later saying she needs a talk with her brother. The moyashi is really tired so I allow him to stay in my room this night after he had the breakdown earlier. He walks into the bathroom. As he takes a pretty long time I decide to take a short look. When I peek in I see him standing bare chested in front of the mirror, looking intensely at his abdomen, rubbing or poking it from time to time. I roll my eyes and wait outside. I take the bathroom after him and when I come back he is already laying in my bed, cuddled in the sheets. I sigh and go over to a dresser to the side to search for some spare blankets. But when I pass the bed suddenly a hand reaches out and grabs my wrist. As I turn with a hiss I see pleading grey eyes looking at me.

"Kanda… Can you… lay with me?"

"Huh? What this time?" I scoff.

"Please, sleep with me. I mean, only next to me. Only for me to know that I'm not alone," he mumbles, avoiding my gaze.

I groan, "Man, you're troublesome," nonetheless I get on the mattress, "Move over, moyashi."

The grey eyes brighten up and he scrambles closer to the opposite side. I grumble under my breath, lay down next to him and pull the covers higher up over both of our forms. He smiles tenderly.

"Thank you again, Kanda. For supporting me through all this," he says silently.

"Che. Go to sleep, baka moyashi," I scoff back.

"My name's still Allen," he mumbles, already on the brink of sleep, his eyes closed.

He inches closer until he is snuggling into my chest. I groan but don't push him away when his breathing immediately evens out, his tense form relaxing. He sighs in contentment and one of his hand unconsciously runs into my long hair. I groan and put my arms around him, the only comfortable position at the moment. Soon I drift asleep as well.

* * *

 **That's it for today.**

 **Hope for more reviews and see you the next chapter.**


	13. Stop teasing!

**Hello everyone,**

 **thanks to everyone who reviewed as always.**

 **Here's the next chapter.**

 **Disclaimer: Nope, DGM has never been mine and never will.**

* * *

The next morning I am the first to wake up again. I have turned around so the moyashi is now nuzzling my back, his fluffy hair tickling the skin on my bare arms. I sigh and detach myself from him, heading for the bathroom. When I return the beansprout is still sleeping soundly. I contemplate going for a morning training round. But then he would wake up alone and most likely scream, alerting the whole building. I groan and settle for meditating.

Half an hour he starts shifting, indicating he's waking up. I turn only to see him shoot up. The whole morning sickness routine follows again, leaving a horrible smell in my nose. After that breakfast and me having a hard time getting mine down. Linali comes and happily chats away. We take a turn to Komui's lab to get the papers he wanted to give us. He does an ultrasound as well, making Allen jump when he applies the gel. The results are nothing special, only some weird white-black pictures, proving what the sister-complex said the day before. There is a womb in the moyashi's abdomen, like a woman's, with a child in it, around one month and a half old. After that I head to the training room with the beansprout on my heels. I start training with Mugen. He doesn't participate, only sitting in the corner, watching me. After some time he is drifting off to sleep again. At exactly half past one he wakes back up due to a loud growl of his stomach. Lunch follows in a similar fashion as breakfast. In the afternoon the girl takes Allen out, giving me more time to train alone.

When they come back I am just finished and run into them in the hallway. A happy Linali literally shoves a relieved looking moyashi in my arms and then waves us goodbye. I put him back on his own feet and he smiles up at me.

"Hello Kanda. Where are you headed?"

"Che, I need a bath," I grumble.

He looks away slightly. I turn and walk in the direction of the exorcist rooms.

"And you do too, moyashi. I have been practically 24 hours with you the last two days and I didn't see you washing up either," I add, not looking at him.

He grins and catches up to me, "Neither did you. And my name is Allen."

"Che, whatever"

We both grab towels and bath utensils from our rooms and head for the baths. He is blabbering about his afternoon with Linali while I am fighting the urge to shield my ears. When we enter the changing room he follows me only reluctantly, stepping in carefully. I start to pull off my top and boots. As I notice him only standing there I scoff.

"Oi moyashi. You just going to stick there, frozen? You need to undress for bathing."

"I know. It's just…" he blushes heavily, clutching his things and looking down.

"You're embarrassed?" I snort, causing him to blush harder, "Really, moyashi? There is nothing that I haven't seen yet, remember."

He blushes again and grumbles something incoherent. I smirk and turn back to my locker. When I put the towel around my waist and let my hair down I feel eyes one me. When I look to the side, grey orbs hastily avert themselves. I smirk again.

"Like what you see, moyashi?"

"Shut up, BaKanda. And my name is Allen!" he growls back, beet red in the face.

I smirk and wait for him to finish. I'd like to deny it but I can't, that my eyes trace his body as well. Following the several scars marring his pale, soft skin. I see the huge one his own sword created in the mission around Timothy. I look at his left arm now completely black other than that ripped red he had before. He changed from the scrawny kid that came to the Order two years ago and in a good way. (And I like it; don't ever tell him I said that!)

He grumbles something and I turn around before he can notice my staring. I shove the door to the bath open with him following me. After washing up we both sink in the hot water. He sighs in contentment and I smirk, leaning back to let all my hair float in the water. He lets himself relax as well, closing his eyes. I look over to him, my eyes wandering to his abdomen, muscled and still flat. Very slowly I reach a hand out to touch it, not being able to withstand the curiosity. When my fingers are nearly on his skin he notices and opens his grey orbs.

"Kanda? What are you doing?" he asks surprised.

"Can I, you know, maybe touch it?" I scowl, trying to hide my embarrassment.

He chuckles, "Sure, but there is not yet anything to feel. I'm only one and a half months along."

"Che," as soon as my hand brushes his skin it sends a tingling sensation through both of us, "Do you feel something of it?"

He smiles softly while I am carefully stroking his stomach, "Sometimes there are small cramps but not really anything from the baby yet."

I see him sigh in happiness and relax at my ministrations and suddenly I smirk. When he closes his eyes again, I start to rub circles in his skin. Not really noticing it he keeps his eyes shut, only relaxing more. I take my second hand as well, turning fully to him. I continue stroking him until he moans out in contentment. His eyes fly open, meeting my smirking gaze.

"Kanda, what are you doing?"

"Hm, you seem to like it," I smirk as I let one of my hands trail along his side, massaging his chest.

He moans again, "Kand-a, stop it!"

"Why?" I purr in his ears, sending shivers down his back, "There is no one here to see us. And your body is clearly telling me that you want it."

He blushes, trying to hide the starting bulge under his towel. I smirk, it's just so much fun teasing him. The way he reacts to this is so enjoyable. And I get some fun out of this as well. So I decide to continue until he submits.

One of my hands goes down, massaging his hips while the other is still on his chest. He moans again, reluctantly, but starting to open up. When I flick one of his nipples he throws his head back and grips my shoulders. I smirk and lean down to lick his neck. Shortly after he pulls on my open hair, dragging my face up to his. His lips claim mine hungrily. I smirk into the kiss, now he wants it really. I continue and soon notice that he's completely hard. I am luckily able to keep my body under control even though the sounds he's emitting are quite turning on for me as well. I kiss him hard while one of my hands goes lower until it slips under the towel. He groans loudly and throws his head back.

"Oh, y-yes! G-Go on!"

I smirk and crawl onto him, straddling him, "Changed your mind, moyashi?" I growl in his ears.

His already heavy breathing hitches and he leans up to capture my lips again passionately. I return the gesture, now starting to stroke his length. He moans and pants into my mouth. I grin and turn my lips from his mouth to his neck when I feel him coming close to climax. His hands grip my hair while I bite down on his skin. He moans out loud and with a last stroke he releases, pulling my hair. I smirk and kiss his neck a last time. Then I get off him and sit down again. When he recovers from his climax I grin at him.

"Soiled the water now, didn't you, moyashi?"

He blushes hard, "It's your fault, BaKanda! And it will be changed in half an hour anyway. Why did you do that?"

I smirk, "Felt like it, teasing you is fun. And you looked like you needed some pleasure after the dark last days."

He pouts but I see a happy glimmer in his eyes as well.

"And now I think we should get out. I at least am clean, different than that water," I smirk teasingly.

"Argh, BaKanda!" he yells, turning beet red again.

I smirk broadly and hurry out of the water into the changing room. Shortly after he follows as well, swinging his fist. Though he doesn't pay attention. His foot slips and he starts to fall. Hurriedly I make some steps over and reach out. I catch him before he hits the ground, causing him to look up at me with a flustered pouting face.

"Be careful, moyashi. You don't want anything to happen to the child, do you now?"

Hurriedly he scrambles up, "No, sure not. Thank you."

We dress again and walk back to our rooms. He says goodbye to me at his door. I return to my own room. I do another meditating session and go to bed late. Nonetheless I can't deny that the bed feels colder than the last nights. I frown at the thought of actually missing the moyashi and discharge it fast.

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **On monday the new semester starts. Yay XO**

 **Hope to see you next chapter.**


	14. Damned mission!

**Hello everyone,**

 **the last chapters we had Allen and Kanda becoming closer. How about we get them a bit away from each other this time?**

 **Thank you to everyone who reviewed.**

 **To Ryuakilover: It's true that technically Allen knows already about Neah, but when I wrote this Story, I completely forgot about him. So I am just going to pretend he kept silent the two years and the next nine months.**

 **Disclaimer: Nope, DGM has and never will be mine. I am playing the game of waiting for new chapters just as you.**

* * *

The next morning I wake up early. I grumble at that becoming an unwanted habit by now. I drag myself out of the bed and wash up. When I pass the moyashi's room later I hear the same sick sounds coming from it. I groan and enter, continuing immediately to the bathroom. And surely I see the beansprout over the toilette. He sends me a thankful look when I get down next to him. I stay with him the whole time again. When he's finished I help him out and walk with him to the dining hall, ignoring the stares we get.

The next weeks proceed like this, me waking up early, staying with him through the morning sickness, then watching him eating his huge amount of food. The rest of the day either Linali or me are watching over the moyashi. It is actually an enjoyable time, also because I have a break from missions for once.

* * *

Then around one month after the revelation I am called to Komui's office. I frown deeply when I enter the messy room. My mood gets even worse when I have to wake him with the usual 'Linali is getting married trick'.

After he calmed down again I sit on the couch, grumbling curses under my breath.

"So what the fuck do you want?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. How's Allen?"

"You do his check-ups, you know," I scoff back.

"Where is he at the moment?"

"The library. With Linali."

We have been starting to look for books about pregnancy some days ago though both Allen and I are reluctant to do so.

"Okay, good. I am sorry to drag you away now, but Central has complained. So I have to send you on a mission."

I snort, "I thought so. These assholes wouldn't want their precious second exorcist to be out of duty for so fucking long," I mutter sarcastically.

He manages a weak grin, "Unfortunately, you're right. There is supposed to be Innocence in a small village near Queenstown in New Zeeland."

"Che, much further away wasn't possible."

"Yeah, well. Your job is to go there, confirm whether it's true and collect it if that's the case. Look out for akuma."

"Che, when do I have to go?"

"Today evening"

"What? It's already past lunch!"

"Yeah, sorry, the notification was pretty sudden."

He hands me a folder which I begrudgingly take. I am reluctant to leave the moyashi alone for longer but I have to, to not draw too much attention to his current situation. I curse and leave the office. First I go to my room to pack. Then I head over to the library to at least tell the white head I'm gone. When I enter I see him sitting in a secluded corner with Linali. They both have novels in front of them chatting nonetheless. I walk over and tap the moyashi on the shoulder. He jumps and shoots around.

"Kanda! Don't scare me like that!"

"Che"

"What is it?"

"Linali, you will have to look after him alone for some time."

"Why? What is wrong, Kanda?" the beansprout inquires.

"Komui gave me a mission. And I have to leave today."

"What? But you can't – "

"Moyashi, we talked about this. I can't stay completely off missions like you."

"I know…" he looks down.

"Don't worry," Linali lays a hand on his arm, "I will take good care of you."

"Yeah, I know. Thank you," he nods then looks up at me, getting to his feet, "Take care on your mission, Kanda. Don't be as reckless as you usually are. You have a responsibility to return to."

I groan and roll my eyes, "Yeah, I know. Don't worry I'm not so easy to kill."

"Sure. Nonetheless. Itterasshai, Kanda."

He smiles at me, suddenly leaning forward and giving me a kiss on the cheek. My jaw drops and the girl hides her grin behind her hand.

"W-What was that, moyashi?"

He blushes but grins nonetheless, "Just hormones, Kanda. Goodbye."

I scoff and turn away, leaving the library fast to keep anyone from seeing the blush on my cheeks. As soon as my back is turned the moyashi's gaze saddens a bit, though the smile doesn't leave his face. The girl looks up at him concerned.

With the help of the ark I get to the country fast, but still have some hours of train ride ahead of me. When I arrive at the village it is the next day already. I didn't sleep well and again woke up early the morning even though there was no sick moyashi to take care of.

The town is nothing special, just one of these little places with close to no visitors. Unfortunately it takes me a long time to find the Innocence which ends in me spending nearly a week in the small town. Akuma attacks are luckily not that much and I am not injured. I am worried about the moyashi though.

To my anger as soon as I reported on having the crystal Komui's bitter voice tells me that I have another job immediately. High rate of akuma sighting on the other side of the country. Damn, fucked timing! Nonetheless refusal is unfortunately not allowed, so the next morning I am on my train across the country. It takes me nearly two days.

When I arrive there I am shocked by the sight. It looks like a battlefield. The monsters are basically swarming the landscape. I take a deep breath and steel myself into the fight.

It takes me over two fucking weeks until all of them are wiped out, my golem getting smashed on the second day. I have to take breaks in between, even I don't last that long. I lost connection to the Order as well as I have no finder with me and the golem is broken. Avoiding injuries completely is also not possible and without my healing abilities I would have already died many times. I can't count how many times my thoughts have darted back to the moyashi back at HQ.

So when I'm finally finished I walk to the next town and search a phone as fast as possible. I get weird looks from the people because I am still dripping with blood, both my own and the akuma's. Komui replies immediately when I call.

"Kanda? Is that you?"

"Yes. I extinguished all the fucking akuma. Can you get me the fuck back now?" I growl.

"Oh, thank god. We thought something happened. We lost contact to you."

"The stupid golem got destroyed. And I was in the middle of fucking nowhere."

"I know that, sorry. It was Central who appointed you to this particular mission."

"Ah, yeah. Punishment for taking a fucking break. Where's the next fucking ark gate?"

"The one you came through. Around three hours of train ride. I will have some finder wait there with medicine and new clothes."

"Che, fine. I give you the stupid report when I'm back."

"No problem and come back soon, Kanda."

"Che"

I hang up, not liking the tone he had when he said the last words. Is something wrong? I hope not the moyashi again. God, can't I get that damned kid out of my head for once? What is wrong with me?

I am still grumbling as I board the train. To get some much needed rest I let myself drift asleep when we leave the station. But not for long.

I shoot up hastily, covered in sweat and breathing hard. I burry my face in my hands. I remember the nightmare still clearly. Most of my dreams evolve around Alma or my time in the labs. This one wasn't. What I saw was the moyashi.

I was standing out on the battlefield I just came from. Suddenly I heard a pained sound from around a rock in front of me. I ran over there and froze as soon as I could see it. There was the beansprout. He was laying on his back, covered by several cuts. But what really shocked me was the hole in his stomach, his abdomen. It nearly look like something was ripped out of there. His eyes turned to me, dull and losing the last bit of life.

"W-Why? Wh-Why d-did yo-u l-let t-that h-happen? The-They t-took i-it!" he stuttered out, blood running from the corner of his mouth and tears from his eyes.

I couldn't move. It was like someone took over my body, making me unable to control it. The only thing I could do is watch how the moyashi was dying, using his last breaths to accuse me. But what did he mean?

"I-It's go-gone! Y-You p-p-promised yo-u w-would pro-p-protect u-us!"

Fuck! Then I knew what he means! The baby! They ripped it out of him! Oh no! Please not!

And at that moment I was able to wake up.

It takes me a long time to calm down again but when I arrive at my destination I am back to my normal behaviour. I scoff at the finder but gladly take the clothes he is giving me. I put some bandages over the bigger wounds, too worried to care much about my own injuries. I put a new coat and trousers on. Then I immediately head to the gate and luckily it opens soon. I stride through it, hurrying through the city to the door to HQ.

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **O-o, is something wrong with Allen?**

 **Keep on reviewing please and hope to see you next chapter.**


	15. What happened to you?

**Hello everyone,**

 **thanks to everyone who reviewed.**

 **So let's see what happened to Allen.**

 **Disclaimer: If I owned DGM I would know how the manga continues but I don't know because I don't own it.**

* * *

Unfortunately as soon as I step out again I am welcomed by a loud shout.

"Yuu-chan! Long time no see!" And a red blur crashes into me.

"Get the fuck off me, baka usagi! And don't fucking call me that!" I yell and harshly push him away.

Shit! That's not what I need now! The fucking baka usagi is only in my way! Around him I can't talk freely. And of course he's the biggest annoyance I could meet. Couldn't he have been on mission when I return?

"Aw, Yuu-chan. Something wrong? You're somewhat more aggressive than usual," he pouts at me.

"Just fuck off! I don't have fucking time for your idiocy now!" I yell back already on my way into the hallways.

But unfortunately he's of course following me, "Mah, what's wrong with all of you these days? Everyone is acting strange. You're even more unfriendly than normal, overreacting. Linali is fussing around, being all nervous. And moyashi-chan. He's totally absent-minded. And now I haven't seen him for days. There is something in the bush and I will find it out, you only wait."

I tuned him out after the words about the beansprout. Why hasn't he seen him for days? He can't be on a mission, so where is he? Did something happen?

"Do you know something, Yuu-chan?" he chirps, throwing his arms around me.

But before I can beat him off me a loud feminine voice resounds through the hall and the idiot lets me go.

"Kanda! There you are. You're back, that's good."

She runs over and hugs me as well, saying aloud, "I'm so happy you returned. We already thought something happened to you, because we lost contact to you."

And then cutting an angry reply from me off, she whispers in my ear, so the usagi won't hear.

"Kanda. Allen's in his room. He's got a bit of a fever. Do me a favour and go there. I will keep Lavi occupied."

My eyes widen slightly when I hear about the moyashi being sick. But I can keep my facial expression from changing. So I only pry Linali off me and scoff.

"Che. I'm fine. The stupid golem got smashed."

With that I turn and hurriedly start to walk away. But to my frustration I hear the rabbit's footsteps behind me. I want to shoot around and give him a piece of my mind when I hear Linali.

"We're you going Lavi? I think it would be better if Kanda could get some alone time after his mission to rest."

The red head pouts, "Aw, but I want to spend some time with my Yuu-chan. I haven't seen him for so long."

The only thing keeping me from maiming the usagi right here and now is that my head is still filled with thoughts about a certain white head.

"Come on, you can spend time with Kanda later. How about you join me in the library now? I need some new books and you always know the good ones," she smiles at him, pulling on his arm.

Lavi grins broadly, "Sure thing, Lina-lady. I would always help you."

She smiles, "Thank you," she turns and starts dragging him away in the opposite direction. She gives me a last meaningful look before she disappears from my sight, making my stomach clench.

I storm past everyone on the hallways, luckily all are moving out of the way, due to the aura I'm emitting. Being called the Order's most evil exorcist has it's advantages sometimes. When I arrive in front of the moyashi's door I'm slightly panting slightly and at least one of my bigger wounds has reopened, but I don't care. I carefully open it.

"Moyashi?"

I step in and suck in a breath when I see the picture in front of me. The beansprout is laying in his bead, breathing hard. His skin is pale, the cheeks flushed. His forehead is covered in sweat and he is panting. His hands are twitching on the blankets, being in a fitful sleep. Again he is too thin, I can see the bones clearly. I sigh, he didn't eat properly again. Even though it would be so important for the child.

I groan and move to a chair next to his bed. I sit on it, putting Mugen to the side. I watch his scrunched up face. Linali has put a wet cloth on his forehead. Without thinking I grab his hand. I nearly jerk away at the touch, because he's burning. 'Little fever', my ass. I snort. Is it really not possible to leave the moyashi on his own, not even after his health he can look properly.

I sit like that for around an hour until unfocused silver orbs flutter open. He finally looks at me, his eyes widening but a small smile coming to his face.

"K-Kanda…"

"Sh… Moyashi. What the hell did you do to yourself?" I grumble, irritated.

"Nothing. Just a small fever." His voice is weak.

"Baka moyashi. You have to look after yourself. You're carrying a child after all," I softly scold him and lay a hand on his stomach to remind him of the life inside of him.

"I'm sorry, Kanda. Next time I will be more careful."

"You better be. You could have caused serious damage to the baby or yourself," I murmur, my concern evident.

He smiles a weak smile his eyelids already drifting close again, "Sorry, really. Thanks for coming back…" He drops asleep again, the fever wearing him out.

I bring his hand to my face and softly touch it with my lips, "I always will when there is a possibility."

Then I want to lay it down, but he wouldn't let go of my hand so I just stay. Nonetheless my exhaustion takes it's toll and soon my eyes drift closed as well. That is until Linali enters the room with a food cart.

I straighten myself unwillingly and am able to get my hand out of the moyashi's before the girl notices. She just pushes the cart next to me and hands me a bowl of soba. I take it gladly.

"So, mind to tell me what the hell this moron did?" I scoff, motioning to the sleeping form.

She sighs and drags herself a chair over as well.

"I don't really know what happened… It just became like that… He got worse over the time you were gone."

I only raise an eyebrow, eating some of the noodles. She continues.

"Well, at first it was nothing bad. He was a bit absent-minded. Not really focused and often tired. We blamed it on the pregnancy. In the check-up he had there was nothing wrong, so we figured it was just one of the normal symptoms. It went on like that for about a week. When it got worse was actually around two days after we lost contact to you. He ate less, did not do much more than sleeping and started to get sick. Around a week back he collapsed with a fever, only light back then. From that on he got worse each day. It was like something was draining every bit of life force out of him. I'm not sure but I think he had an emotional breakdown around this time as well. He wouldn't let me close anymore, lock himself in his room. I made my brother examine him but he couldn't find a physical reason for it, so he suggested it was from stress or something. Since two days we put him on bedrest because his fever just got higher."

She quiets and I don't know what to say. Why the hell would the moyashi get sick like this? I don't ever remember him getting sick to begin with. Maybe the baby is too much for his body. Would it then be better… But my train of thought is luckily broken by Linali.

"I am really concerned. If this keeps up there will be serious damage to the child. And if we can't figure out the reason we can't help him."

"You don't know the reason?"

"No, he wouldn't tell anyone and my brother said it must be a psychological reason So… Wait, could it be?"

I look at her questioningly but with a frown on my face, "What?"

"It started when we lost contact to you, didn't it? Yes, exactly. Maybe that was what triggered it. Losing you, his support in this whole pregnancy thing. No, it can't be that simple. I could have acted as his support as well or Lavi if we told him. So it was specifically about you… Kanda, did he already talk to you?"

I blink, surprised by her flow of words and the fact that the moyashi's breakdown would be because of me, "Yeah, he thanked me for coming back. Why?"

"He was afraid to lose you, that's the reason for his breakdown. But to be that bad you must mean a lot to him. Did he ever talk about something like that to you?"

I grumble, "Not that I remember. Well he was as clingy to me as hell. Happy when I agreed to help him but I guess that's normal… Ah," I blush, "That night, ahem, he said he wanted me and not someone else."

She has blushed slightly as well, "Hm, okay. Well that's not much. But if this was the reason then he should be getting better from now on. You're back after all. So can you do me a favour and stay with him until he wakes up the next time. I know you're tired from your mission but he's more important right now. Oh, don't look at me like that. You know he is, he's carrying a child at the moment, your child for goodness' sake. So be there when he wakes up and give him the food after he does."

I curse under my breath, but unfortunately it's not like I can argue with her without getting one of Komui's stupid robots on my trail. So I only growl while she grins broadly, waves at me and leaves the room.

The moyashi's hand is twitching again so I lay mine on it to stop the motion. That only ends in him gripping it hard in his sleep. I again grumble something then lean back and try to relax as well. Some moments of silence pass and my eyes are drifting shut, I'm fucking tired for goodness' sake. I was looking forward to have a nice sleep once I reach the HQ not having to take care of a sick moyashi, like some doting husband. I curse again as that image reaches my head. Suddenly I hear the beansprout's weak voice.

"K-Kanda…"

Why would he say my name in his sleep? And it's not like his voice is filled with aggressiveness or something, it is soft and caring. I frown and tiredly sit up.

"Kanda, I l-love you…"

My free hand on the armrest of the chair drops out of shock. What?! He-He what?! It is just some kind of fever fantasy isn't it? But a look at his face tells me it's not. My eyes are wide, a strange sensation in my chest. But it can't be can it? The moyashi loving me? That is what Linali meant earlier by more than just a support, isn't it? But why? Since when? And why did he never tell me? Okay, scratch that last question, I know why. Nonetheless it kinda explains why it had to be me that night and why he broke down when I was assumed dead.

But that leads me to the question of what to do now? (Heh, déja vu, isn't it?) I mean I could go on like I never heard that, but I don't think I can. So what then? Should I respond to his feelings? For that I have to think about what I feel for him first. Okay, if I'm honest… I have no idea. I feel more for him than for anyone else (not that I feel much for people to begin with), but I wouldn't call it love. I assume I am not really able to feel this particular emotion, so… And even though I kinda enjoyed that night, it proves that I find him attractive at best. Again it would be most natural to push him away, but again I find myself unable to do so.

I stay there, sitting and pondering over this question for at least two hours until he finally stirs and wakes up.

"Good morning, Kanda," he says softly, his head turning to me.

"It's evening, not morning, moyashi," I absent-mindedly scoff back.

He frowns slightly but keeps quiet. Then he tries to sit up. I rip out of my daze and reach out to help him.

"Oi moyashi. You sure you can get up? You seemed pretty bad when I came in."

"My name's Allen. But yes, I think I can. For some reason I feel much better than before…"

He looks better as well. His skin gained some colour back and his cheeks are not red anymore. His eyes are back to a clear silver and focused. He isn't sweating anymore and his breathing has calmed down. His hand isn't burning to the touch either. I carefully put a hand on his forehead.

"Hey Kanda, w-what are you doing?" he is blushing.

"Che, I'm checking your temperature, idiot. You're still warm but at least you're not burning anymore," I growl back, unaffected by his blush.

He pouts but lets me do it. I scoff and retreat my hand. Then I turn over to the cart.

"Here. Linali brought you food."

His eyes light up, "Sure! I'm really hungry! I feel like I didn't eat for days!"

"You probably didn't, stupid idiot!" I mutter under breath.

"What?"

"Nothing, eat, baka moyashi!"

"My name's Allen, BaKanda!"

"Che"

Nonetheless his eyes sparkle with happiness and he eagerly digs into his food.

After he's finished he goes back to sleep, trying to get well again. I grumble something but put the dishes away and stand up. Before I leave the room taking the food cart with me I bend down one time and ruffle his hair. Then I hurry out.

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **So Allen confessed. How will Kanda react?**

 **That's gonna be in the next chapter ^^**

 **Please keep on reviewing and see you then.**


	16. Morning, good or not

**Hello everyone,**

 **thanks for all the reviews.**

 **To Ryuakilover: At the moment I am not planning to. You see, I don't really like the Noahs and I had Road in the first chapter. But maybe I can write a small chapter with one of them in it if people want it. Perhaps a conversation between Neah and Allen?**

 **To LunaSetsuna: Not directly, but because in this case, the Innocence is supporting the baby it is in need of more strength than usual. So it is drawing energy from other Innocences, mainly Mugen, because it's Kanda's as the father. So yes, not being able to draw that additional energy made Allen more suspectible to the fever as well.**

 **I hope the answers are fine like that and now on with the story.**

 **Disclaimer: I may own all 24 books of DGM but the series and the characters... Nope.**

* * *

The next morning I am thrown out of my bed by a yelling Linali way too early for my liking.

"What are you doing here, Kanda?"

I groan and scoff back sleepily, "What do you think I'm doing? It's called sleeping! What do you want?"

"Why are you here?" she nags on.

I sit up begrudgingly, "What the hell are you on about?"

She's standing there, looking angry, with her hands on her hips, "You shouldn't be here! You are supposed to be with Allen! He's sick, remember!"

I groan again, "Yeah, I remember. But he's sleeping, he can be a bit on his own."

I try to turn away and go back to sleep but the girl won't have any of that. She grabs my long hair and pulls my head up again with it.

"Ow! What the fuck are you doing?" I yell.

"Allen's sick. You are going there now! Even though he's sleeping at the moment, soon he will wake up and then all the morning sickness will start! And he will have a breakdown again if you're not there! So get out of bed and move yourself to his room immediately!" she shouts back.

I groan again and curse quite violently. But her face is to not disobey, so I begrudgingly drag myself out of bed. She grins satisfied and leaves my room. After a short wash up I grab my sword and walk to the moyashi's room. Fortunately he's really still sleeping. And he looks way better than yesterday. From what I can tell he is close to normal again. I sigh and sit down next to his bed. It takes less than ten minutes until he starts to stir. His eyes drift slowly open.

"Hey Kanda. So you're really back?"

I snort, "Sure, did you think it was a dream? Baka moyashi."

"My name's Allen. But yeah, I guess so. I…"

He sits up and pouts at me. But suddenly he tenses up, one hand shoots to cover his mouth.

"Moyashi?" I ask worriedly.

Then I remember his morning sickness. I hurriedly look around and spot a huge bowl on the drawer at his bedside. I grab it and shove it in his hands. He sends me a thankful look, while he pulls his hand from his mouth and throws up heavily into the bowl. I frown but nonetheless rub his back again. He keeps on vomiting until I get seriously worried the bowl might not be able to take it all. But it works. Only that after he's finished he keeps on dry heaving. If you ask me it is actually painful watching him doing that.

"Are you okay, moyashi?"

"Yeah, I," he gets out in between his heaves, "just didn't even get to throw up the past days due to the fever."

Before I can retort, the door is suddenly thrown open. I growl when it reveals a grinning red head.

"Morning moyashi-chan! Yuu-chan, what are you doing here? Anyway I brought you food!" he shouts, before realizing the situation.

"Oi Allen. You okay, buddy?" he asks worried seeing the vomit, completely ignoring my protest due to the use of my first name.

By now the moyashi has finally stopped being sick and sits up straight after having wiped his mouth. I cast him a look as well, which earns me a slight shake of his head.

"I'm fine, Lavi. Don't worry. Really."

"You sure? That looked pretty bad just now. Are this also symptoms of your fever?"

"I'm fine really. I'm much better than yesterday. And no it had nothing to do with my fever."

"But then what – "

The red head starts but I have enough and simply take the full bowl from the moyashi's hands and shove it into the rabbit's arms.

"Enough blabbering now, usagi. The moyashi just woke up. You go take that away."

He opens his mouth but I have already pushed him outside and thrown the door closed.

"Like I said I'm gonna find out what's going on here!" I hear his voice from behind the door.

The beansprout chuckles, "Thanks Kanda. Do you think he will really find out?"

"Che. We won't be able to hide it much longer from him."

His face saddens slightly again. I scoff and turn to the food cart the red head actually brought. I take a plate of soba for me and push the rest over to the bed.

"Here, eat, moyashi. You need it."

He pouts but immediately digs into the plates. I watch him while eating my own breakfast. What happened yesterday comes back to my mind and the fact that I still have to make a decision over that. I decided to let it slide the day before because he was still too sick, but today he seems nearly back to normal again. And I have to know whether he said the truth or only blabbered in his fever. I let him finish his meal, waiting calmly. But when I open my mouth the door is opened again.

"Are you awake, Allen?" Linali sticks her head through the door.

"Yes, I am. Good morning."

She opens it completely and steps in, "Good morning to you too. I see you already ate and Kanda is here as well. Good."

We both look at her questioningly so she continues, "You look much better Allen. So, my brother will come in a moment. We will do a check up on you to see whether the baby was affected. And he will also check on your general health. Is that okay?"

He looks to me with an unsure look, "I guess so."

"Good."

And as soon as she said that Komui comes in, some kind of machine in tow.

"Good morning Allen. I am happy to see you're better."

For my liking there are far too many people in this small room now so I try to stand up and leave only to be pushed down by Linali.

"Oh no, you're not leaving, Kanda. Again: It's your child and we probably need you to help Allen."

I roll my eyes and curse under my breath. Just how many times does she have to rub that under my nose? It's not like I planned any of this. Actually I didn't even plan to have children ever, as I most likely would not live long enough. Though if I'm honest, now that it happened I don't really regret it.

"Okay," Komui sits down on another chair next to the moyashi's bed, "How do you feel at the moment, Allen?"

"Much better. I don't feel hot or cold anymore. I feel rested and pretty good. Only a bit hungry perhaps," the younger answers, giving a small smile.

"That's great. Your temperature is also back to normal. Though it's fascinating how fast you were cured."

"We thought that maybe he was sick because Kanda was said to be dead," Linali pipes in, "So now that he's back there is no reason for his condition anymore. And because the reason was a mental one, as soon as it was gone, his fever disappeared as well."

"Hm, yeah. I guess you're right. Whatever it is, it's really good," Komui agrees.

Then he drags the machine he brought over, turning it on.

"Allen, can you lay down and lift your shirt please? This is a transportable ultrasound machine I made. I need to take a look at the baby," he says carefully to the white head.

The boy sends me another nervous look, his right hand unconsciously searching for mine. I sigh and allow him to grab it. The moyashi relaxes and does as Komui said. I turn my eyes deliberately away from his naked skin and focus on the screen of the machine instead. Linali smiles tenderly at our joined hands. Meanwhile the scientist puts the usual gel on Allen's abdomen, making him wince slightly at the coldness. Then he puts the device on the skin. I feel the beansprout tense and unconsciously squeeze his hand.

"Okay, let's see," the Chinese moves the device until something is visible on the screen, "There it is, Allen. And luckily it seems like there is no damage done to it. It is developing fine for good three months."

The moyashi smiles a relieved but genuine smile. I feel him squeeze my hand back. A warm feeling runs through me as well. I am really having a child and with the moyashi nonetheless (not that I'm able to discern anything on that strange screen).

After a bit more examination Komui puts the machine off again, "As far as I can see everything is going fine. Nonetheless you have to be more careful Allen. A sickness like this could cause a miscarriage. But for now you're okay. I would say you're cured again, so you can go out and such. But be careful in the coming days and don't overexert yourself, okay?"

The moyashi nods but the scientist isn't done yet, "Kanda, stay with him as much as you can. And be nice. And please, you two, do me a favour and finally read into the whole pregnancy thing. I know it's embarrassing to be searching books about it and being possibly seen while at it, but it is important that you know what's coming up and how to react in case of an emergency."

Allen blushes and I scowl. Our hands detangle from each other. We know we should do that, but none of us wants to search for pregnancy books in the library in front of our friends.

Linali claps her hands, "You do that. But first I think it's time for a bath."

We both look at her bewildered so she explains it, "Allen, you haven't left the room for days. So Kanda, go to the baths with him."

"Why do I have to go with him?"

"Because he will need your help. He just had a high fever, he's still a bit weak. And because you need a bath as well. You stink of blood."

I blush slightly and look away while the moyashi only snickers. I send him a glare but he doesn't notice. Linali smiles and shoos her brother out of the room following him. Before the scientist leaves the room he turns one last time.

"Oh yes, Kanda. I told Tiedoll you are having a child. He is coming over in the next weeks."

All colour drenches from my face. Please no! That idiotic general will be ecstatic about the news! I won't get a second calm from him and his stupid antics! And the same goes for the moyashi. But before I can do anything the two Chinese are out of the room. I groan and burry my face in my hands. The moyashi grins and lays a hand on my shoulder.

"Come on Kanda. It won't be that bad."

"You have no idea, moyashi," I growl back, "Whatever, can you get out of bed? I want to get this over with."

He sticks his tongue out, "My name is Allen, learn it finally." But he throws his blanket aside nonetheless. He swings his legs over the side and shivers when his bare feet touch the cold stone floor. He puts on some casual shoes and a coat over his sleeping outfit. When he stands up he is unstable and sways in the beginning. I catch him. He blushes slightly and thanks me. Then he grabs his bath utensils and a change of clothes. With my support he walks out of his room. First to mine to grab some stuff for me as well then to the baths.

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **So it's still not clear how Kanda feels about Allen. Isn't that evil? ;) Don't worry I'm gonna solve it in the next chapter.**

 **But on the other hand, Allen's fine again.**

 **Keep on with the reviews and see you next time.**


	17. Kanda's answer

**Hello everyone,**

 **as promised the chapter Kanda is finally going to talk with Allen about their feelings.**

 **Thank you to everyone who reviewed and I hope you continue to enjoy my story.**

 **Disclaimer: I wouldn't be writing on a site called Fanfiction if I owned it, would I?**

* * *

I notice that even though his fever is gone he is still pretty weak. As soon as we arrive in the changing room he lets himself fall down on one of the benches. I smirk softly but decide to not comment on it. I take off my own clothes, being uncomfortably aware of him staring at me. When I'm finished I turn around to seeing him not having moved one inch, only his coat and shoes are off.

"What the hell are you doing, moyashi?"

He blushes hard, "I, ahem, I think I need your help to get up…" he murmurs.

I groan, "Fine."

I get down and start to unbutton his shirt. He blushes furiously at that.

"Wh-What are you d-doing, Kanda? I said to help me up, not to undress me!" he yells embarrassed.

I roll my eyes, "But this is faster. Don't worry I won't do anything."

He looks unsure, "You won't try something perverted like last time we had a bath?"

I roll my eyes again and scoff, "No the hell moyashi. You're far too weak for that right now!"

He pouts, "Am not. And my name is Allen."

I only 'che' and continue my actions. His shirt is soon off, revealing all his scars and his still mostly flat abdomen. Softly I pull him up half-way to take off his pants. Again he blushes furiously as I remove the rest of clothing from him and hand him a towel which he wraps around himself. I snicker. Fascinating how shy he's acting now, regarding his behaviour that night. He gives me something akin to a glare but it only increases my amusement.

I help him to the next room and fortunately he's able to wash himself, that would have been a bit awkward after all. I support him again until we reach the hot water. I carefully let him slide in, watching out he's sitting safely before letting him go. Luckily I don't realise how much my actions resemble those of a lover or husband by now. If I did I would have been embarrassed beyond belief. I sit myself next to the boy while he leans back and lets out a content sigh. I can't keep myself from watching him, my eyes fixating on his abdomen. It's still flat. But there is a change visible. Where there were defined muscles the last time I looked, now it is completely flat, only a barely noticeable rounding visible, and doesn't show any muscle structure anymore. I get curious again.

"Moyashi?" I ask carefully.

"Hm?" he doesn't even open his eyes, being too relaxed right now.

"Uhm, your stomach. Can I maybe feel it?" I question tensely. I really don't know where this urge to wanting to touch it always comes from.

He smiles softly, "It changed I know. You can, but don't do something like last time."

I roll my eyes, "Che, I already said I wouldn't."

Nonetheless I carefully extend my hand and touch his skin. It feels soft and I like it for some reason. He closes his eyes again and enjoys my small touches. I run my hand carefully over his abdomen feeling the different texture.

Allen smiles, "Sometimes you can be really sweet, Kanda. You know that?"

I blush and retreat my hand, "Sure not, baka moyashi!" I scoff back, embarrassed.

He only chuckles, "On very rare occasions you are."

Now he lifts his own hands to his abdomen and rubs it tenderly, "It feels a bit different as well. I can't really describe it but I kind of feel that there is something. It's not like I can feel the baby moving but I know there is something," he smiles dreamily.

I watch him slightly surprised but then my gaze drops down. I remember the subject I have to talk about. And I can't wait much longer.

"Moyashi? Can you answer me something?"

He looks surprised as well, one hand still on his stomach, "Uhm, sure. What is it?"

"Do you remember what you said while you slept yesterday when I was there?"

He starts to get confused, "Uhm, not really, I had a fever you know. Why?"

"Well you said that…" I am slightly afraid to speak the words he did.

He sits up straight, "Kanda. What did I say? You're frightening me."

"You-You said, you loved me!" I mutter out.

He blushes furiously. The hand on his stomach tightens and he averts his gaze, his whole body tenses. I turn to him surprised.

"Moyashi? You okay?"

"Mhm…"

I lay a hand on his shoulder, "Moyashi, can you tell me if what you said is true?"

He tenses again but doesn't answer. I sigh.

"Tell me. Talk, Allen," I grumble, using his real name for once.

His gaze turns down, "Yes," he mumbles nearly inaudible, "Yes, it is true."

My grip slackens and I sink back, "For how long?"

His fists clench, "S-Since the ark."

I groan. So long? And neither did he say something nor did I notice. By now he's shaking, his fists tight on his lap, his whole body tense. His eyes are closed, tears at the corners, and the face sad. One hand wanders up to his abdomen again and rubs it as to calm him down. I sigh and finally make my decision to not reject him. So I instinctively reach out and pull him into an embrace. He looks at me shocked. I only scowl and motion him to relax.

"Baka moyashi!" I grumble, "You should have told me…"

He grips onto my back, burying his face in my bare chest. Small sobs are emitting from there, "I couldn't! You would have pushed me away! And you always acted like you hated me! You would have hated me even more or been disgusted! And I know it's wrong but I can't help it!"

I softly stroke his back, "It's okay, moyashi. Even if you told me, I might have thought of you as a bit strange but I would neither hated you nor been disgusted. And I already said I don't care about this stupid rules, baka."

He chuckles carefully, "Yeah, thanks. But still…"

"What?"

"Now that you know? Uhm, I… Could you maybe g-give me a r-response?" he is red again and stuttering.

"Che, I think I should," he tenses, "But for that, look at me."

Reluctantly he lifts his head revealing slightly puffy eyes and a wet face. I sigh and frown.

"Okay, first, I can't say that I love you," his gaze saddens, but I raise a finger, "Let me finish, moyashi. I maybe don't love you because I'm not sure whether I'm capable of love," this time I get a surprised face, "What I can say is that I feel something for you. More than I feel for anyone else."

I finish and his gaze has become hopeful again but now he looks contemplating, "Okay, thank you, I suppose. Uhm, but what exactly do you mean then? I mean about our… uhm, relationship."

"It's your decision, moyashi. I am not directly against a relationship or something akin to that. I won't act all lovey-dovey or something, understood? I'm not the type for that. But at the moment I'm not able to love you, don't forget that."

He seems to be thinking for a moment, then his face lights up, "I don't care. To know that you care about me is enough for me. I would love to try a relationship. And if it's possible for you to love me one day I will wait."

I am surprised by his words but a warm feeling spreads through my chest, "It might take a long time, maybe forever."

He only smiles up at me, "I don't care. As long as I can be with you I'm content. And I will wait as long as I have to."

I also let the hint of a smile show, "But I'm not sure whether I can be enough for you."

He shakes his head, "You already proved that you are enough for me."

Slowly he stretches up, his face coming closer to mine. When our noses are basically touching he stops, looking into my eyes apprehensively. I decide to take action and close the gap between us. Our lips meet and we kiss. But this time it's not a rough and hungry kiss like back then. It's soft and careful, portraying emotions neither of us is able to say out loud. When we separate we continue to look into each other's eyes, our foreheads touching.

Then I notice his cheeks are flushed again. Too flushed. And I don't think it's embarrassment this time so I softly lift him from my lap where he crawled on at some point. I carefully stand up, raising him with me and step out of the hot water.

"Moyashi, you have to get out of here. You're getting too hot. It wouldn't be good if you collapsed again. So come on."

He smiles up at me but when I look into his eyes I can see the tiredness in them. He needs his rest. He just woke up from a high fever, had to deal with too many emotions and the baby is draining him as well. So I help him to the changing room. As I see he's nearly falling asleep on the spot, I crouch down in front of him and start to dry him off. He smiles tiredly, enjoying my touches. After that I help him dress again and lean him against the wall. He thanks me and sits back. I scoff and turn away to change and dry myself. After I'm finished I see that he really dozed off sitting up. I groan. That kid is just troublesome. I get down and lift him on my back, taking our stuff in the process.

I walk to his room as it is warmer than mine. I lay him on the bed carefully and tuck him in. He mumbles something and cuddles under the blankets. I smile softly. Sometimes he really can be cute. I scowl at my thoughts. I sigh and leave the room after a last stroke over his hair.

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **So, happy with the way Kanda decided?**

 **Please keep on reviewing. Maybe I am going to start uploading two chapters each week from now on, whenever I have the time that is.**

 **Hope to see you next time.**


	18. Nosy rabbit

**Hello everyone,**

 **I'm sorry, I promised two chapters in one week, I was busy each day. Mostly University or meeting friends. But for that you will get three chapters including this one until next Tuesday because afterwards I will be on holiday for a week.**

 **Anyway, thanks to everyone who reviewed.**

 **Disclaimer: Do I have to write it every time?**

* * *

The next day he is better than he was before. He is nearly back to his old strength and didn't even throw up in the morning. Apparently the morning sickness is wearing off like Komui said. Until lunch I spend my time practicing with him watching me. We decided to tell nobody yet that we have started a relationship. We could only tell our best friends anyway and we're too afraid to be hugged to death by Linali when we say that.

In the afternoon we finally convinced ourselves to get some pregnancy books. The girl is out on a shopping trip until the evening. Unfortunately the baka usagi is still here.

So at the moment we are in the library. We are looking for the right section. Not the most used so somewhere in the very back and the Order's library is huge. But for sure we will not ask the librarian. For that both the moyashi and I are far too stubborn. Unfortunately none of us notices the shadow following us.

"I think it's this way, Kanda," the beansprout points along one aisle.

"You sure, moyashi? I bet you could even get lost in the library with your sense of direction," I smirk back.

He pouts, "Not in the library. It has walls I can walk along if I don't find my way. And my name is Allen."

I nearly break out into laughter, "You serious? You really got lost in here?"

He flushes red and yells at me embarrassed, "Only once! And it was my first time being here!"

Now I can't supress my snickers.

He blushes more, pouting, and throws himself in my arms pounding my chest, "That's not funny, BaKanda! Not funny at all!"

I catch him instinctively and smirk at him, "What are you doing, moyashi? You're acting different than normal…"

It takes him a moment of composing himself then he straightens and clears his throat, "Sorry Kanda. I guess it was just hormones."

"We really need to find some books on this," I frown.

"Yeah…"

"So why do you think it's this way, moyashi?" I change the subject back to the problem at hand.

"Well, I saw children books back there."

I take a short look, "Yeah, but books to read to children not on how to handle them."

He frowns. I walk to the other side of the shelves in front of us and take a peek around the corner. I think to spot something bright red fast disappearing from my view but I discharge it. After a moment of looking I spot what I was searching for. A section labelled with 'parenting'.

"There it is, moyashi," I point at the books.

He reluctantly walks up to me and we move over to the shelves. I notice he is slightly blushing and I'm fighting to not join him. Luckily this books are somewhere really in the back and very few actually come here.

"Okay," the white head is standing in front of the shelves, his hands on his hips, "What do we need now?"

"How to handle a hormonal beansprout?" I mutter, earning me a light punch and another blush from him.

"No. But these books are the wrong ones," he points at the lower ones, "they explain on how to handle babies or small children."

"What we don't need," I finish his thoughts.

"Yet," he grumbles and I glare slightly at him.

"So what?" I scoff.

"This is what we need," he says and points to the books higher up.

I look at them, trying to not cringe at the titles. I don't move a single finger and so it is on the (small) beansprout to get them. He flushes and stretches himself. But even so he can barely reach the covers. He is standing on his tip-toes looking ready to fall like a cut tree. I groan and extend my hand to end his suffering. I lift it up to the shelves, brushing his in the process. He blushes again, but smiles at the contact. Soon I have got two books down, handing them to him. He immediately opens one of them, biting his lip in embarrassment when he sees the pictures of the pregnant women.

"Kanda, can you get me that blue one up there?" he asks, pointing at a slender book with dark blue wrapping.

I frown but reach out nonetheless. Exactly in that moment something crashes on my shoulders. The moyashi appears on my side and soon a shock of fiery red hair in between us.

"Yuu-chan! Moyashi-chan! Again I spot you two peacefully together. And you are looking for books. Let me see what sort of," Lavi chirps, an arm over both of our shoulders.

"Don't call me that!"

"My name is Allen!"

Is what we yell back, but not as effective as usual as it is spiked with embarrassment. Damn that baka usagi for finding us right now! If it would be anybody else I would hope on them not finding out, but even though he usually doesn't show it the rabbit is pretty smart. The moyashi is bright red, pressing the books he already has against his chest, hiding the title and trying to cover the back as well somehow. I myself try to keep my blush at bay, hiding the blue book behind my back.

"So let me see what books you two have chosen!" the red head happily turns to Allen.

The beansprout only hastily shakes his head, pressing the books closer. Lavi tugs at them.

"Aw, come on. I'm your friend, am I not?"

I bite back a 'Not' at that. Now he leans in to the moyashi's red face, sending a wave of irritation through me.

"By the way, you're red in the face, Allen. You okay? Do you still have fever?" he fakes a worried tone.

Again the white head shakes his head vigorously, not being able to utter a single word. At least this embarrassed version is better than the depressed one we had when we told Linali.

"Oh, I know!" Lavi suddenly shouts, "You're embarrassed because what you have there is porn or something like that. And Yuu did help you pick some good ones."

The moyashi blushes even more if that's possible and shakes his head even harsher. This time I do too. I have never read porn, for goodness' sake! And the damn usagi knows that far well! But for really attacking him I would have to let him see the book behind my back and that's not what I want. So I settle for shouting at him.

"Are you a fucking idiot? You know I don't read perverted stuff like that! Don't compare me to the dirty you! And the moyashi isn't either! And don't fucking call me by my first name, baka usagi!"

He only grins but then turns to the shelves, "Hm, this isn't the erotic section either (A/N: I don't think such a section would even exist in that library, but whatever). Wait, what is this? Parenting?"

He turns to us with a surprised and irritated face, "Are you sure that you got the correct section?"

When he looked away the moyashi has inched close to me, searching for help. We exchange a look, knowing we will have to tell the rabbit. He won't stop until he found out and he also belongs to our closer circle of friends (rather the moyashi's than mine). Unfortunately the usagi uses our momentary distraction to steal himself one of the books from the moyashi's hands. The smaller looks horrified at his friend.

"'Pregnant – What now? How to handle the nine months'" the red head reads the title out loud, his face falls shocked, "No way," he starts, the moyashi closes his eyes, waiting for the revelation.

"You got a girl knocked up, Allen?" Lavi yells.

"No!" the white head immediately shouts back, his face redder than even a ripe tomato.

I groan and burry my face in my hands. Well he didn't get it. No matter how smart, something one thinks of as impossible doesn't even come to a bookman's mind. Lavi looks at us, for once in his life utterly confused.

"Not? But then what do you need these books for?"

"Look Lavi. There is something we haven't told you yet. But we can't keep it secret any longer. But please can we go somewhere private?" Allen says to him in a low voice.

The red head's face hardens, "You can tell me here. No one comes this deep into the library. And if, we would notice. So speak."

The beansprout throws a nervous looks around, "Please Lavi. Nobody can know. And here someone could hear us. Just…"

But I cut him off, "Moyashi, stop it, it's useless. The baka usagi won't budge now, no matter what. Sometimes he can be as fucking stubborn as you. We will tell him here, but you baka usagi, fucking keep your voice down whatever you hear. And you mustn't tell anyone, not even bookman, understood, stupid rabbit?"

The other throws me a helpless look while a satisfied grin spreads over the rabbit's face, nodding eagerly.

"Okay, it's like that," Allen clutches the one book left hard against his chest. His right hand meanwhile searches for mine. I groan but allow him to take it, be it only for the stupefied expression the idiotic rabbit shows at the move.

"Neither of us got a girl knocked up," he clarifies again.

Lavi shakes himself out of his stupor about us holding hands, "But then why are you searching for pregnancy books? Surely not to read them for fun…"

I snort and the moyashi shows a strained smile, "No, surely not. There is really a child on the way. That's what we need these books for."

"'We' in meaning you and Kanda, am I correct?"

"Yes"

"Why you two? Was Linali raped and you two are adopting it or what?"

We both throw him a weird look, "I'm pretty sure that if that would have happened to Linali you would have surely heard about it. Komui would have gone on a rampage."

"I know that," he whines, "But then why are you two researching for it? And who is having the baby anyway?"

The moyashis takes in a deep breath, squeezes my hand and then speaks with a firm voice.

"I am having the child. And Kanda is the father."

For a moment the baka usagi stares at us dumbfounded, his mouth hanging open and his eye wide. Then he breaks out into loud laughter. He doubles over and holds his stomach.

"That's – hahahaha – a really good – hahaha – joke! You – hahaha – pregnant, moyashi-chan! And Yuu – hahaha – as a father!"

"Oi," my aura is growing devilish and I slowly draw Mugen with my free hand, "You will pay for that, baka usagi!"

Immediately said man freezes looking up at me. But before I can attack him I feel a light pressure on my arm. When I look over I see the moyashi has laid his left hand on it. He looks at me firmly and shakes his head.

"Don't Kanda. It will only cause more problems. Let me explain it first then you can maim him."

I grumble something incoherent but let my sword slide back, for now. The white head sighs, then turns to the usagi whose face looks like it couldn't decide between laughter, surprise and fright.

"Lavi. Please listen to me," Allen starts another try, "What I said was not a joke. I am really pregnant."

Now the usagi's jaw falls down, "You-You serious? But I thought you were a boy…"

"And I am. I don't know how exactly it happened but somehow the Innocence made it possible for me to get pregnant."

It follows some silence in which the moyashi stiffens. As for the rabbit, he is deep in (shocked) thought, you can basically see a sign over his head 'bookman accumulating information'. Then he speaks up in a serious tone.

"So when I saw you throwing up yesterday, it was morning sickness?"

"Yes"

"And that's the reason you haven't been on missions lately?"

"Yes, I'm not allowed to."

"Also the reason for your strange behaviour the past weeks?"

"Partly, yes."

"And the fever? Did it have to do with that as well?"

"No, that were psychological reasons."

The beansprout answers his friend's questions patiently. After another moment of silence, the red head suddenly gives out a goofy grin.

"Yay! Moyashi-chan's gonna be a mom! And Yuu-chan gets a family!" he chirps.

We both cringe at his voice, but the moyashi releases a deep breath. And even I ignore the use of my first name for once. Lavi throws himself forward and hugs the startled white head.

"I'm happy for you. You both. And trust me, I can keep quiet if I need to."

"Thanks, but remember, not a word to bookman either."

The rabbit detaches himself from the moyashi again, leaving an arm around the smaller's shoulders.

"So… You two got together?"

We both blush but the beansprout answers, "Somehow… Though only very recently…"

"Congratulations! So how far along are you, Allen?" he asks with a curious look to the moyashi's stomach.

"Three months approximately…" he lays a hand on it himself.

Lavi pouts, "And you didn't tell me earlier? Who else knows?"

"You were on mission. And then Kanda was away and it just was never the right time. Apart from Kanda and me only Linali, Komui and River know about it. And it has to stay that way!"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," the red head chirps, "So you were searching for pregnancy books so that you could look after your beloved moyashi, Yuu-chan?" he grins at me.

Deciding on using a different approach this time, I smile at him evilly, answering in a calm tone, "More or less, baka usagi. But still there is one little problem in that statement of yours." I take a breath and turn to angry, "Don't fucking use my first name!"

I rip myself lose from the white head and pull Mugen. The rabbit blanches and starts to run away. I follow him, swinging my sword. Allen only looks after us, chuckling. He takes the books both Lavi and I discharged up.

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **Ah yes, Lavi being Lavi. A bit of humor is always good.**

 **Anyway please keep on reviewing. Next chapter tomorrow, hope to see you then.**


	19. Books and You lied!

**Hello everyone,**

 **as promised another chapter today.**

 **Thanks to all those who reviewed.**

 **Disclaimer: Just look it up in the first 18 chapters. It hasn't changed.**

* * *

I chase the usagi for a bit before I huff and fast return to the library. There I find the white head sitting on the floor, reading in one of the pregnancy books, surrounded by others. I smirk and crouch down in front of him.

"Found something good, moyashi?"

"My name's Allen," he pouts up at me, "But yes, I did."

"Okay, but sitting on the ground is not good for you. Select some and we can read them in my room."

He nods hurriedly, grabbing the books laying around. In the end he decides on three different ones, including the blue one he requested earlier. He wants to hand them to me but I shake my head.

"No way, moyashi! You're gonna get them to the librarian. I will just put the others back, you can't reach the shelves anyway."

He pouts again and mumbles some insult but I only scoff and decide to ignore it for once. He walks off towards the desk at the entrance. I tidy the remaining books up and follow him. At the doors I meet a beet red beansprout who only shoves the three books in my arms and then stomps away towards the quarters. I chuckle and hurriedly follow him.

He is waiting for me in front of my room, his arms crossed. I raise an eyebrow but unlock it nonetheless, letting him in. Immediately he lets himself fall onto my bed.

"God, I'm tired. This emotional rollercoaster every time we have to tell someone is really too much."

I sit next to him, stroking some hair out of his face, concerned, "Are you okay, moyashi? The baby is not too much for your body, is it?"

He smiles at me and sits up, "It's not, don't worry. I'm fine, just a bit tired."

I am still looking at him so he grins and leans over to me, giving me a peck on the lips, "It's okay, really. Didn't know you were such a worrying person."

I scowl, "I am not!", and push his head down, but he only laughs and straightens himself as soon as I release him.

"Doesn't matter. I like it," he chuckles, "But anyway, you said that we would read the books when we were in your room."

"Ah, yes," I hand him one of them.

He opens it again, awkwardly, and starts reading. I groan and take one for myself, trying not to imagine a moyashi with a round belly.

Two hours later I decide that it's enough now. What I read is a bit too much at the moment. I sigh and lay my book aside. When I want to lift my left hand to rub my eyes, a pressure on my shoulder stops me. I look over and spot the moyashi leaning his head onto me. His eyes are closed, apparently he fell asleep. I groan and carefully move him away, laying him down on the bed. I draw the covers over him and stand up. I grab the book that fell out of his hand from the ground and place all of them together on the small desk in my room. I myself sit down to meditate over everything that's happening at the moment (and accumulate what I read about pregnancy).

What I don't notice is that the moyashi wakes up soon, but doesn't do anything and just watches me for some minutes until his eyes fall closed again, to sleep for another half an hour.

The calm is interrupted when suddenly someone bursts through my door, squealing loudly. Caught completely off guard I topple over and hit my bare shoulder on the hard floor. The beansprout shoots up in the bed, luckily not falling out.

"What the fuck?" I yell and when I sit up, I am able to discern the intruder as an over-joyed Linali.

She is grinning broadly at us both, hands on her hips. The white head on the bed is rubbing his eyes, trying to get the sleep away.

"You lied!" Linali pouts.

"What the hell are you talking about? I didn't ever fucking lie to you!" I scoff back.

"You did! When you said you two weren't a couple!"

"What? Why do you think we are?"

"Lavi said, you two are together!"

Argh, the damned usagi! So much for keeping his mouth shut. Nonetheless back then when we told Linali we weren't lying. By now the moyashi is awake but slightly blushing.

"So you lied when you said to me you weren't!" the girl inquires.

Allen sighs, "We didn't, Linali. When we told you back then, Kanda and I weren't a couple. We informed Lavi just today and since then things changed."

Her face relaxes, "Then when did you get together?" she grins.

We exchange a look, "After my fever. Yesterday if I'm correct."

She squeals again and tries to hug us, though I'm able to evade it and she only tackles the moyashi.

"Congratulations, you two! I'm happy!" she grins and sits up again, looking at me sternly, "And you Kanda, you will look well after Allen. If you hurt him, I will make you regret it!"

I gulp while the white head only chuckles. Our eyes lock for a moment and I know I never will, at least not if I can prevent it. He smiles and crawls from the bed towards me, leaning himself against my chest. I sigh, but lay my head on his. The girl squeals again, smiling brightly.

"Oh, yeah! I nearly forgot!" she suddenly shouts out and digs into a bag hanging from her arm.

"Here! I saw it in the town today and couldn't withstand."

She stretches something to the moyashi. He takes it smiling and thanks her. When I look over his shoulder I see it's a stuffed bear, the fur as white as the beansprout's hair. Allen smiles up at me, a glint in his eyes I can't identify.

"It's for the baby," Linali explains, "I know it's too early, but I just had to buy it."

"Thanks, really Linali." The moyashi smiles a genuine smile at her and she answers the same.

Suddenly we are interrupted by a loud growl. The white head blushes and the girl starts to laugh.

"I guess, it's dinner time," she laughs.

I sigh, but stand up. I hold out a hand to the smaller boy.

"Come on, moyashi. Better get to the cafeteria or you might eat that bear."

"I wouldn't do that. And my name's Allen," he shouts at me, red in the face.

But it only causes Linali to laugh harder and me to chuckle. He pouts and crosses his arms. Nonetheless he follows us towards the dining hall, the stuffed animal left on my bed. His pouting though is easily diminished by a promise of a plate extra mitarashi dango. Immediately he is laughing again, chattering with Linali, his eyes shining. That really surprises me again and again. How much this pregnancy changes him. At one moment he can be depressed and now he's laughing more genuine than I have ever seen him.

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **Please keep on reviewing and see you next chapter.**


	20. Run! Tiedoll's coming!

**Hello everyone,**

 **here's the third chapter I promised. Phew, three chapters in three days.**

 **Anyway, thanks for the reiviews.**

 **Disclaimer: Even 20 chapters later I still don't own it.**

* * *

Some weeks pass without any problems. I get a short mission for only half a day, but am allowed to stay with the moyashi for the rest of the time. We have been reading the books we took from the library and I start dreading what is awaiting me (not that the moyashi feels any better). Linali and Lavi have been with us as much as they can, helping and gushing over the beansprout.

I'm walking from the training room with the moyashi trailing behind. He has been watching me the whole time, one of the parenting books (disguised with a fake wrapping to not attract attention) in hand. He isn't allowed to train anymore, but apparently he likes just observing me.

Suddenly a shout echoes through the hall.

"Yuu-kun! Is that you?"

My eyes widen and a wave of dread washes over me.

"Fuck!" I curse and hurriedly grip the surprised white head's hand, "Moyashi, run!"

"Wha - "

But before he can protest I am dragging him off into the labyrinth of the HQ's corridors. I keep running until I reach a small garden somewhere deep in the building. I come here sometimes when I need time alone and even though Linali knows where it is, normally she doesn't bother me here.

When I stop and look around, I notice nothing much changed here and I allow myself something like a small smile. Then I look down concerned to see the beansprout next to me hunched over, panting.

"Oi, moyashi. You okay?"

"Damnit BaKanda! I thought you read those books! I can't run like normal at the moment! It's bloody exhausting!" he yells at me.

I decide to not argue as it is only one of his outbursts which became more frequent in the last week. He straightens up and takes a surprised look around.

"Where are we?"

I smirk a bit, "It's my hiding place, if you want to call it that. This is an indoor garden. I come here when I need to be alone. When I had the time I would look after it."

He steps forward and carefully touches one of the flowers, "You did this?"

"Not really. I just sometimes tended to it. In the past months I had no time though," I smirk at him.

He only sticks his tongue out at me and turns back to the plants. Then out of nowhere he asks.

"What was that anyway?"

"What was what?"

"Why did we have to run away?" he turns to me frowning.

"Che," I scratch the back of my head, "Well, apparently the stupid general arrived."

"That shout was your general?"

"Yeah…"

"Then why did you run away?"

"Che, you know how Tiedoll is. I really don't fucking wanna meet him!"

"Come on," he pats my shoulder again, "It won't be so bad."

"I promise it will. He will not let you freely take a breath," I grumble.

He looks at me surprised but I shrug it off, "So, want to see some more of this garden?"

His eyes light up and he nods eagerly. I take his hand and lead him into the green. We spend some time there, looking at flowers. The moyashi is happy like a child who got a new toy and I have my fun watching him play with the plants, until…

"Yuu Kanda! I know you're there! Come out here immediately!"

A loud angry voice echoes through the room, immediately identified as Linali's. The moyashi and I exchange uneasy glances, then get up. When we walk out, I see a fuming girl standing there, I curse under my breath and the beansprout squeezes my hand.

"What the hell do you think you're doing? Tiedoll came only to see you! And you run away!"

"That was the reason I ran…" I mumble.

"You will immediately take a short bath and then meet with Tiedoll in the tea room!" she commands.

"But…" I try.

"No chance. Off you go. And Allen, you come with me. We will fresh you up a bit and then wait for Kanda in front of the tea room."

She grabs the boy from my side, who sends me a slightly frightened look. All I can do is curse. There is just no arguing with this girl. The consequences (mainly either being hit by her Dark Boots or a new killing robot of Komui) are too grave. So I stomp off, still grumbling.

After a short wash I am on my way to the room in a very bad mood at the thought of having to meet my crazy general. In front of the door Linali is waiting, her arms crossed, with the moyashi in his old attire with vest and shirt. If you look at him like that, not the baggy clothes he started to wear in the last time (often clothes burrowed from me), then you can see that he gained weight around his middle. He appears slightly nervous and is fiddling with his sleeves.

"There you are, Kanda. Took you long enough," the girl scoffs when I near.

I only roll my eyes and lock gazes with the moyashi, who relaxes and gives me a small smile.

"Okay," Linali grabs my arm, "General Tiedoll and Marie are in there. They are waiting for you. So go in there and be nice. And just for the record, they were only told that you are expecting a child not that it's Allen, understood?" she lectures.

I only grumble an affirmation, which earns me something akin to a glare from her. Without further ado she knocks on the door.

"General Tiedoll? Kanda is here."

"Yuu-kun! Come in!" is the enthusiastic response from inside making me cringe.

Linali gives me a last meaningful look, opens the door and then walks off. I give the moyashi's hand a squeeze then let it go, shoving the door further open. I enter and want to walk back out immediately. There is Tiedoll, my former teacher, standing in front of one of the small tables, crying rivers from both of his eyes, his hands clasped in front of his body. Behind him is Marie, smiling gently.

"Yuu-kun! I'm so happy for you!" the old man shouts and throws himself at me.

I carefully shove the moyashi out of the way and dodge the flying idiot.

"I told you not to call me by my first name! And what do you want here?" I growl.

"What I want?" he sniffles, while continuing to try to hug me, "Obviously I want to congratulate one of my dear sons that he is becoming a father himself!"

"I'm not your fucking son!" I keep on evading him, trying to ignore the white head's chuckling in the corner.

But to my unfortunate suddenly I bump into something hard with my back. When I look up I see that Marie is in my way of fleeing. This time I can't dodge fast enough and the idiotic general envelopes me in a hug, crying all over me. Damn idiot!

"Oi, get fucking off me immediately! Stupid old man! Release me!"

I yell and struggle for some time until Marie takes pity and pries him off me. The whole time I can see the beansprout hardly suppressing his laughter. Oh you only see, moyashi, revenge will come!

"Come general. Let him go. You want to question him and he can't and won't answer like that," the tall man carefully says, while lightly tugging on the general's arms.

Fortunately Tiedoll really releases me. As soon as his hold lightens I break out of his arms and run over to the other side of the room, next to the moyashi. I send Marie a thankful look.

"No problem, Kanda," he answers even without seeing it, "By the way, congratulations from me as well."

I murmur a thanks and Allen smiles. Tiedoll is wiping his glasses then he turns to me, looking around the room.

"So where is the girl?"

I frown while the moyashi stiffens. There we go again. The I-don't-know-how-many-th time we have to explain, that here a male is the pregnant one.

"There is no stupid girl," I growl.

"No girl? But didn't Komui say you were expecting a baby?" Tiedoll looks beyond confused, while Marie is slightly frowning but from what I can tell, he is concentrating on his hearing at the moment.

"And by the way, what are you doing here, Mr. Walker? I mean it's nice to meet you again, but…"

The white head stiffens and I feel his hand starting to tremble again. I grab it.

"Moyashi, calm down. I thought we were over the whole depression phase. Tiedoll is an idiot but he will accept you without problems," I whisper to him, shielding my words from the general (not Marie of course he has a far too good hearing for that).

The boy smiles at me and relaxes, "Yes, I know. Thank you."

Nonetheless he suddenly twitches, one hand shooting to his stomach. Uneasy I lean my forehead against his temple, now talking extremely quiet.

"Is something wrong? Do you want to get out of here?"

He softly shakes his head, leaning into my touch, "No, I'm fine. I just felt… something. Maybe it simply felt my nervousness and tries to help me."

"Uhm, I don't want to interrupt, but do you mind explaining it, Kanda. Favourably before Tiedoll faints," Marie's voice gets me back.

I stand up straight and look at the general who has the most idiotic face I have ever seen on. Blank confusion and wonder.

"Che," I scoff, "Isn't it obvious? The moyashi and I are together."

A moment of shocked silence then the next outburst of tears.

"Yuu-kun! I'm so happy you found someone to love again! And Allen is a great person! Thank you for getting Yuu out of his shell!"

Again he runs at us, his arms open. Hurriedly I pull the moyashi behind my back and brandish my sword.

"Don't, old man!" I growl, getting my point across.

He sniffles, "How can you be so mean? I'm like your father."

"Like hell you are!" I scoff back.

"But wait," a strange look has come onto his face, sending uneasy waves down my body, "When you're expecting… Then you have cheated on Allen!" he cries out dramatically.

I resist the urge to face palm and I can basically feel the moyashi behind me sweat drop.

"Welcome to my world," I whisper to him.

He frowns and whispers back, "I admit he's a bit strange, but compared with Cross, living with him would be paradise."

I only grunt in reply. Meanwhile apparently Marie has figured it out. Maybe from Allen's scent or some noises the baby makes or whatever, but he has noticed.

"Uhm, general, I don't think Kanda cheated on Allen…" he carefully tries to get through to the (again) crying man.

"How can you say that, Marie? Did Komui then lie about the child?"

Both the moyashi and I are happy to let someone else do the explaining this time, especially because he knows the best how to deal with this crazy old man.

"No, I think the one pregnant is Allen."

The crying suddenly comes to a stop and the general looks at his former student incredulously, "Uhm, Marie, I know you're blind, but I thought you knew that Allen is a boy."

"I know that. But exactly because I'm blind I can tell that there is a pregnant person in the room. But there are only males in here. And as it is neither you nor me and Kanda would behave differently if it were him, that leaves only Allen."

Tiedoll's mouth is hanging open and he slowly turns to us, "Is it true what he says?"

I wrap an arm protectively around the moyashi's waist and nod firmly.

And again the old man throws himself at us, congratulating us and telling us how happy he is. Marie joins him (not hugging us thankfully, only congratulating). We have to endure it for a full hour, his questions and outbursts of tears. Then we can use the excuse of Allen needing his rest to escape the room. On the way back to my room, we're silent. I am still fuming about the ridiculous hour that just passed and the white head is deep in some thoughts apparently.

When I shove the door to my room open and he steps in he suddenly twitches again, like he did earlier. He sits on the bed and starts to rub his abdomen. I sit down next to him, laying a hand on his.

"Moyashi, is there something wrong?"

He looks up at me unsure, "No, I don't think so. It doesn't hurt, but it feels… strange."

"What do you mean?" I ask, getting slightly concerned.

"Here," he lifts up his shirt and grabs one of my hands to lay it on the tiny bump that has formed there by now.

I blush slightly but he only rolls his eyes. For some minutes nothing happens but a look in his eyes tells me to please stay still, so I unwillingly obey. Nonetheless I get impatient fast. But just as I want to speak up at him I fell something. It's like a very light hit against my hand from inside his belly. I gasp and retreat my hand.

"See what I mean?" he says.

"Yeah," hurriedly I scan through what I read in the books but then something basically jumps into my mind and my eyes widen, "I think I know what this is."

"You do?" he looks at me hopefully, apparently he didn't read the books as carefully as I did.

"Yeah, you are now around four months along. At this time the baby can start to move. I think that's what you feel."

His eyes widen and for some reason immediately tear up.

"Oi moyashi," I ask worried, "Something wrong?"

He shakes his head, his hand searching for another kick. I stare at him questioningly when he suddenly smiles, the tears running down his cheeks.

"I'm fine, Kanda. It's just… I'm so happy. This is not a dream. I am really becoming a parent. And with you nonetheless," he is laughing and crying at the same time.

His hands are pressed to the bump on his stomach while a glowing smile never leaves his face. I allow myself a small smile and pull him into my arms, one of my hands laying on his.

"It's not, moyashi. It's not. You are getting a family," I whisper in his ear while he smiles happily.

 _'_ _And me too. For the first time in my life,'_ I add in my thoughts and close my eyes, simply enjoying his presence.

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **Ah yes, Tiedoll. I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. Poor Kanda. But the end was sweet.**

 **Hope you like it, reviews are always appreciated.**

 **Next chapter will probably come out the saturday of next week. See you then.**


	21. Horny beansprout

**Hello everyone,**

 **back from holidays. Mallorca was nice but a bit too german for my liking. ^^' (I am from Germany and prefer go to a different country in my holidays.)**

 **Here's the next chapter.** **Warning; it's lemon-ish.** **It's a bit of a filler for some humour probably. We will continue with the important story line next time.**

 **Hope you still like it and thank all of you who reviewed. Originally I wasn't planning on writing some kind of epilogue, but I can try if you want. If you want to know how their lives continue after their first child that is.**

 **Disclaimer: Still don't own any of your favourite couple.**

* * *

After he had his fever the moyashi started to sleep in my room each night. Not that I really complain, because normally it feels relaxing to have his presence, his warmth next to me.

But not this night, because today in the middle of the night I am woken up by moans. Grumbling I lift my head out of the covers only to see the moyashi moving around. I am a light sleeper so that alone and his relatively quiet moans are enough to disturb my sleep. He tries to snuggle to me, but I push him away. Not like this!

He turns around, facing the wall, while I see that one of his hands has slipped under his own shirt. I turn away from him, groaning. Really? Does he have to have a wet dream, laying fucking next to me? I pull my pillow over my head, trying to block out the moans which are getting louder by now. Unfortunately it doesn't really work. Nonetheless I close my eyes and try to sleep again. Well, until I hear my name in between the beansprout's sounds.

"Kand-ah! Yes!"

I groan deeply. That was just what missed, him dreaming that about me. As I have enough I decide to wake him up. I raise a bit from the bed and reach over to the white head, shaking him.

"Oi moyashi! Wake up!"

But all I achieve is that he cuddles himself to my body, moaning again. I twitch when I feel something hard poke my tight. It needs some willpower to keep my own body from reacting the same way, so I try harder to stop the idiot.

"Moyashi!" I yell, pushing him away and shaking him quite roughly, "Wake up now! Stop this shit!"

And this time it works as his eyes drift slowly open, to my discomfort still slightly darker than usual. He focuses on me and sits up a bit.

"K-Kanda? What is – Uh…" he murmurs and then blushes noticing his body's reaction.

"Yes, uh. Damn it, moyashi! Did you really need to do that?"

He blushes even more, "It's not like I can control that! And my name's Allen."

"The bathroom is over there!" I grumble, pointing to the small door.

He pouts and is about to get up, but then stops. He looks at me with a pleading gaze, making me feel quite uneasy.

"What is it, moyashi?" I ask, masking my discomfort with anger.

"I have done it to myself so many times in the last weeks. Could we not do something different this night?"

He makes puppy eyes and crawls closer to me on all four. Instinctively I back away, distancing myself from him. He doesn't care and only comes closer, showing no discomfort, but apparently trying to be seductive. And fuck, I can't deny it looks nice. He's still slightly flushed from his dream and his sleeping shirt is too big for him, showing too much skin in some places. I try to stop my body from reacting, but in vain.

"No moyashi! No way! Go to the bathroom!" I yell.

"Come on, BaKanda. You know what I want and you want it too…"

He still inches closer. To my shock I have reached the end of the bed by now, meaning my back is against the wall. He slowly crawls onto my lap, pressing his warm body against mine, moaning at the contact.

Damn it! What the hell is wrong with him? Normally he's all innocent and blushing and whatnot… So what's that? Playing seductive and cheeky. The hell? I already noticed he was hornier in the past days and as I have spent practically 24 hours with him for months now, I noticed the change. But I never thought much of it, sorting it to the symptoms of pregnancy. But I also would have never thought that it could turn into something like that.

"I don't want it, moyashi! Go away!" I shout, trying to keep my blush at bay (and keep my pride).

"Are you sure?" he drawls, putting one of his hands on my groin.

I supress a groan and push him away. Now he went too far.

"Yes, I'm sure, moyashi. Go do it to yourself!"

"Why? The last time we did it is already over four months back. Please Kanda, I need it!"

"That was a once and only! We fucking discussed that!"

"You did it again that day in the bath… And since then things changed. We are a couple now! We should do these kind of things," he counters.

I blush heavily. Fuck, I did forget that!

"That… We still can't! We're in the Order here! If anyone hears us we're dead!"

"No one will! The walls are thick and here with us on the exorcist floor is only Linali and she knows anyway."

My mouth is open but I'm not speaking. I don't know any arguments anymore. Again he crawls on my lap, letting his hands roam my chest, while his erection brushes mine, making us both groan. I am frozen, but he's not. I watch him sliding off his sleeping shirt and starting to touch himself, while he's smirking at me. I growl deep in my throat as warning but he ignores it, only grinding his hips against mine, moaning out loud.

At that my control finally snaps and I push him off my lap and on his back on the bed. By now I'm hard as well. I growl again.

"You don't know what you are getting yourself into now, moyashi!"

He grins, "Oh yes, I do! And I want it!"

I growl another time then I go down for a kiss. He responds passionately and warps his legs around my waist, making both our arousals brush against each other. He moans into my mouth. I only smirk and let my hands run all over his chest and further down. He moans again when I touch one of his nipples. I detach my mouth from his and start to trail kisses down. He moves and pants but I don't let him. When I am down at his abdomen I kiss the small bump visible there. He smiles at my action, but soon gets back to his needy movements. But I don't comply and instead keep kissing his stomach.

Suddenly he pulls my head up. His face is flushed and he looks at me intensely.

"S-Stop the teasing, K-Kanda! I want you n-now!" he growls and I smirk, capturing his lips again.

He lays himself down again and I pull off his pants and boxers in one go. I do the same with my own clothes. He moans and presses his chest against mine, making me feel the different texture of his stomach. I smirk and after a bit of teasing his shaft I start to prepare him. He doesn't react in any way to the unpleasant feeling. Only when I enter him he tenses. But soon this is gone as well and he's moaning in pleasure at my thrusts, as I'm able to do it a bit better than last time. We both come at the same time.

After it all he happily snuggles himself into my chest and falls asleep immediately. I sigh and soon follow him.

In the morning I am again the first to wake up. After a short wash up I sit myself at the table, taking one of the pregnancy books up. And I really find there that some experience a 'heightened sexual need' as it is written. I groan and burry my head in my hands, hoping that this won't happen another time. The moyashi happily sleeps through all of this.

When he wakes up, he's apparently sore and demands me to help him. Even though I think it was his fault I comply. At least I don't have to carry him around. Nonetheless Linali throws us a weird look, seeing the way the moyashi moves.

Luckily that was the only time this happened.

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **Hope you liked it. Reviews are always appreciated and see you next chapter.**


	22. Mood swings and new plans

**Hello everyone,**

 **on with the story we go.**

 **Thanks to everyone who reviewed.**

 **Disclaimer: Really? I think you know it after over 20 chapters**

* * *

Time passes and soon the moyashi has reached his five months mark. Now you can clearly see his bump when he's not wearing an overly baggy shirt. But no one has noticed it until now, we are all cautious and even the stupid rabbit has kept his mouth shut.

At the moment we are sitting in the dining hall. The moyashi is eating more than ridiculous portions these days. They were already huge before but now during the pregnancy he eats something close to two times the size and preferably my food too. But what really makes me lose my appetite is what he eats, the combinations. Even I nearly puked the first time he put chocolate sauce on some soba. But well, I don't have to eat it after all. So by now I can at least force my own food down next to the smell of his weird choices (though after the chocolate-sauce-incident even I couldn't eat soba for two days and that means something).

Suddenly someone sits in front of us and a female voice speaks up.

"Kanda, Allen, as soon as you are finished eating you are asked to come to my brother's office." Of course it's Linali, then she leans forward and says in a lower tone, "It's about Allen's condition."

I frown while the moyashi hardly lifts his face from all the plates.

"What is it?" I ask grumbling, "We just had a check-up two days ago and he said everything was fine."

"I don't know exactly, but I believe it's not about his health."

I grumble something and nudge the white head, "Hey moyashi. Can you eat up? We have to go to the siscon's office."

He grins broadly, spluttering something incoherently because of the food in his mouth and turns back to his task. I groan and run a hand over my face. The girl smiles at me.

"Something wrong, Kanda?"

I only groan, "The moyashi's getting seriously weird these days. It's unnerving."

She chuckles, "Didn't you read the pregnancy books? That's normal because of the hormones the body produces due to the baby. And it has even more effect on Allen because his male body is not made to handle these special hormones."

"I know, I know…" I grumble.

She pats my shoulder, "Don't worry. You're doing really good. It's great that you didn't even snap once until now, regarding how short your patience usually is. And in the end it will be worth it, won't it?"

I only grumble under my breath, not sure whether I should agree with her or not. Because on the one hand it's true and I am indeed looking forward to when the child is going to be born. But on the other hand I don't know how long I can stand the moyashi like this anymore. And I don't like the way she said it either, it makes it sound like I'm a small child who completed a task. But I am ripped out of my thoughts by a poking on my arm.

"I'm finished, Kanda!" The beansprout grins broadly.

I sigh and stand up, my tray in hand. He shuffles his plates together and puts them on the small cart he uses these days. But he makes no indication of following me. I groan and look at him.

"What're you doing moyashi? Move and bring your plates away, so we can visit this crazy scientist," I growl at him.

He pouts, "You do it. You have to look after me. So please?" He does his puppy eyes.

I scowl, "The hell, moyashi? You're not sick, you can put your own dishes away!"

His pouty face turns into an angry one. Oh great, he's got one of his mood swing flashes again. Just fucking great. He is not in the least predictable in these moments and can turn from a crying mess in my arms to a fury in seconds.

"I'm carrying your child, for god's sake, BaKanda! I had to go through morning sickness, fainting spells and stomach pains and who knows what will await me in the future! Just for your stupid child! And you can't even take my dishes with you? You're an insensible asshole, BaKanda! And my name is Allen for the thousandth time! When will you ever bloody learn that? You ignorant jerk!"

I only sigh about his ranting and Linali throws weird looks at the white head. I refrain from telling the enraged boy that it is his child as well, it would only make things worse. So I sigh again and put my own plate on top of the moyashi's stack.

"Fine, I will do it!" I yell and storm off, pushing the cart in front of me.

After I have handed all of the plates to the cleaners and return to our table I find the moyashi crying, with the girl helplessly trying to comfort him. I roll my eyes and groan. Then I sit down next to the boy while Linali whispers to me.

"I can't calm him down! He's only saying he's sorry and that you will hate him now! Can you do something?"

I sigh and pull the white head into an embrace, "Calm it, moyashi. I'm not mad at you and I surely don't hate you," I mumble in his ear.

"But… But I yelled at you and insulted you and…" He sobs into my chest.

I sigh again, "Did that ever bother me much? No, so I don't care now either."

He chuckles a bit but stays snuggled up in my body for some moments while the girl opposite us only stares at us like we were aliens.

"What is wrong with Allen?" she asks incredulous.

I sigh for the umpteenth time, "Only mood swings. Started a week ago and has gotten worse since then."

She nods understandingly. After the white head has calmed down I pull him up from the bench and we follow the girl towards the science division. When we enter the messy office the sister-complex-idiot is sitting behind his table (for once awake) discussing something with River. He looks up at the sound of our steps.

"Ah, Allen and Kanda. I thought you would be here faster…"

"Just a little incident at the cafeteria, brother."

"Incident?" the man asks, concerned.

"Just mood swings!" I growl while I nudge a blushing moyashi down onto one of the couches.

"So what did you want with us?" I ask aggressively, standing next to a nervous Allen.

"Yeah, well…" the scientist clears his throat, "At the last check-up I saw that the bump on Allen's stomach is getting pretty noticeable. Also there have been rumours about your, let's say outbursts and your missing out on missions. So I think it is time…"

"Time for what?" the white head asks.

"You remember what we discussed at the beginning of your pregnancy? That you had to leave the HQ eventually. I think we can't wait much longer if you don't want to be found out by someone or even Central," he explains with an uneasy expression.

The moyashi stiffens and again his hand is searching for mine. I grab the pale appendage and squeeze it reassuringly. Linali looks like she can't decide whether to pout or look worried.

"So what are you planning?"

"I think it would be best if you would leave sometime in the span of two weeks. I will officially schedule you for a mission, which will last approximately six months. You will need to stay relatively close and out of towns so no one will see Allen with a round belly. Also we can't leave you completely alone, but we can't dispatch neither Linali nor Lavi because Central would get suspicious and we need our exorcists. In the last month, most likely I and some helpers will go to the closest hospital so we can do the birth."

I nod while the moyashi searches my warmth for comfort. He doesn't look forward in the slightest to leaving the one place he ever called home for half a year, but he knows it's necessary. Otherwise he would put both our lives as well as the unborn child in great danger. Central is already wary of both of us. He, because he has a Noah inside him. I, because I am a Second Exorcist who killed the other one and escaped the program afterwards, bonding with the Innocence in the process.

"Do you know somewhere we can stay?" I ask, trying to get my thoughts from my depressing past.

Now Komui smiles, "Remember the farm you visited after your mission before we found out about Allen?"

I frown while the boy next to me throws me a curios look, "That family?"

"Yes, they have already been informed. They will gladly look after Allen and are not against a relationship between two males."

"But they support the Order. They could sell us out to Central," I counter, getting slightly protective.

He smiles, "It's nice to see you care so much, but I know these people personally. They would never do something like that."

"Are you sure?" the moyashi's light voice pipes up.

"Yes, I am. And they live outside the city, but there is a hospital nearby. And they have two, well three children themselves so they know how to look after a pregnant person."

The white head nods slowly, then his silver orbs look up to me, searching my gaze. I sigh and run my hand through his soft hair.

"Fine," I say, "When do we have to leave?"

"Dear lord, Kanda. You sound like you're going on a mission," he teases, but it earns him only a glare which makes him shrink back in fright, "The best would be next Saturday. That leaves you time to pack everything you need and me to do cover your tracks."

We nod, but suddenly Linali interrupts, "But that's only six days away!"

Komui raises an eyebrow, "Yes, and?"

"But I wanted to spend more time with Allen like this. I had so much planned. We still need to go shopping and the baby shower and…"

But the moyashi, though tinged slightly red on the cheeks, cuts her off, "I don't need something like a baby shower anyway. There are only six people who know about it to begin with so it would make no sense, especially because we have to keep everything secret."

"But the shopping trip!" she pouts, causing Komui to start wailing about her being sad, with River barely restraining him.

"We can do that in the remaining days, Linali. But again I don't need…"

"Oh yes, you do, mister! Lavi is coming back from his mission Tuesday so we are going shopping Wednesday the whole day," she say in a final tone.

I feel the moyashi repressing a groan next to me, causing me to smirk, "I wish you a lot of fun, moyashi."

He glares at me but again the girl's voice is heard, "What are you talking about, Kanda? You are coming with us of course. The father of the child couldn't miss out on something like that."

I blanch and this time the whitette snickers, "No way! For sure I am not coming on some fucking shopping trip!" I yell.

"Oh yes, you will," the female exorcist says in an evil-sweet voice, her face promising horrible things if someone disobeys.

I scoff and grumble something close to an affirmation. The girl goes back to her usual cheerful attitude. After that we discuss some closer plans, like train arrangements and a last check-up on the Friday before we leave.

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **So they have to leave the Order soon. But first we have the shopping trip to annoy Kanda with.**

 **Anyway reviews are always appreciated and see you next chapter.**


	23. I hate shopping!

**Hello everyone,**

 **first time I update during the week.**

 **Thank you for the reviews as always.**

 **To Guest: I simply didn't think of Mother and Baba when I wrote the story. Besides there is another reason I send them there, you will see in later chapters.**

 **Disclaimer: Have I ever owned them?**

* * *

In the evening the moyashi and I are back in my room. He is laying in the new queen sized bed while I am combing my hair. I got the new bed after Komui noticed the white head would always sleep next to me. The crazy scientist decided my normal bed was too small and put the bigger one in.

I feel the eyes on my back, but don't care. I know the beansprout is always doing this. For some reason he has taken a huge liking in my long hair, so whenever I would brush it, he would stare at me, sometimes asking to do it himself. Usually he is silent but today he speaks up.

"Kanda?"

"Hn?"

"Are you scared?"

I turn around surprised, looking in pleading but sincere silver eyes.

"Are you?" I ask back softly, not having an exact answer to his question.

"Yes, I am…" he admits, his gaze dropping down.

I sigh and sit next to him, stroking his hair, "Of what, moyashi?"

"Of having to leave the environment I know. Of the birth. Of something going wrong…" he trails off.

I softly caress his face, "You don't need to. It will all work out, I promise."

He chuckles, "I thought you hated people who couldn't keep to their words…"

"I do and that's why it's all going to be fine."

He smiles up at me genuine, "Thanks, but you don't have to make promises you can't keep, just to comfort me."

"I am not," I say and lean down. I carefully capture his lips in a soft kiss and he smiles.

"Thank you," he says again, then his eyes lock on mine, "But you never answered my question from the beginning…"

I sigh, "I am I guess," I very reluctantly admit.

"I don't know whether I can be a good parent, because I never had one and am surely not going to take Tiedoll for a role model. And I guess I'm afraid of losing either you or the child."

Again I simply let my mouth speak, not really thinking about what I was saying, only letting my emotions (the little bit I have) do the job. Neither letting my pride get in the way, because I learned this was always the best way to get the moyashi better. And again I'm proved right when he smiles at me.

"Thank you for being honest, Kanda. I feel the same, but regarding how you look after me you will be a great father."

This time a soft smile even reaches my lips, "We will see, moyashi."

I slip under the sheets next to him and he snuggles closer to me. I carefully extend a hand and touch the bump on his stomach. He smiles softly and closes his eyes. Suddenly I feel a kick against my hand. My face relaxes and I put both my arms around the boy next to me, pulling him in, like trying to protect him from harm. He smiles a last time before his breathing evens out and he falls completely asleep. I follow a bit later.

* * *

Monday passes fine. Tuesday the baka usagi returns from his mission practically unharmed and in a far too hyper mood for my liking. He gets terribly on my nerves, especially when the moyashi joins him in one of his stupid mood swings. That ends in a long rabbit hunt throughout the whole tower. But from his face Lavi isn't too happy either to have to go shopping with Linali the day after. The evening the moyashi falls asleep in my arms like always.

Only for us to be ripped out of sleep at 7 o'clock the next morning. Someone is pounding on my door harshly. I'm the first to open my eyes and curse unwillingly. Nonetheless I carefully unwrap my arms around the small boy. But he has been awakened by the ruckus as well. Still drowsy silver eyes blink half-way open.

"K-Kanda?" he murmurs.

I run a hand through his hair, "Hey moyashi. I will go, you just stay here and rest."

He smiles a sleepy smile and closes his eyes again. I get out of bed and walk over grumbling. Harshly I rip open the door, only to find Linali grinning up at me. I scowl.

"What?"

"You have to get up. We wanted to spend the whole day in the city, shopping. You have to get ready," she chirps, while I only glare.

"It's fucking 7 o'clock in the morning. The shops aren't even open yet. And the moyashi needs his sleep!"

"But they will open soon. And we have a bit of travelling to do until we arrive there. And Allen will be able to sleep as much as he wants once you're on that farm. So come on now! Lavi and I are waiting!"

She waves at me and bounces away. I grumble some curses under my breath. Crazy girl! Seriously, why is she that happy? Maybe I should ask the rabbit to get her a baby too. That would solve two problems in one go. One, the girl had something else to gush over and would leave us alone. And two, I would finally get rid of the baka usagi, because Komui would surely kill him for making his sister pregnant. I sigh, close the door and walk over to the bed, where the moyashi is still cuddled up in the sheets. Softly I shake him. I just hope he doesn't go straight in a mood swings fit like he did a week ago. Simply not pleasant!

"Hey moyashi. Wake up. Linali is waiting for us for that godforsaken shopping trip."

He grumbles and opens his eyes again, "That is today?"

"Yeah"

He groans and sits up, "Do we have to go?"

I smirk at his childish behaviour, "It's not like I want to, but if we don't go I'm sure Komui will have one of his crazy inventions right on us."

He yawns, rubbing his stomach. I smirk and head to the bathroom. Twenty minutes later, a rant about not having the right thing to wear from the moyashi included, we are going downstairs to the cafeteria. And really there are Linali and the stupid rabbit sitting on a table, obviously waiting for us. The girl is bursting with happiness and smiling brightly. The usagi for once is quiet, apparently tired. One of the moyashi's huge portions later we are on our way to the town.

We arrive around an hour later, the beansprout nearly dozing off on my shoulder on the boat ride. Linali jumps up and down, holding a paper with the addresses of some shops on it. She walks in front of us to the centre and immediately drags us into the first shop she sees. Of course it's a store completely for baby things. The moyashi blushes as soon as we enter, I get a slightly uneasy feeling and the rabbit seems to be stepping nervously from one foot on the other. Only the girl has her fun. Most of the woman, often clearly visible pregnant throw us strange looks. Apparently wondering why there are three guys with one girl, regarding that apart from us hardly any males are there to begin with (more than understandable that they avoid coming here if you ask me). The beansprout seems to be searching my closeness for comfort, but unfortunately I have to slightly push him away.

"Sorry moyashi, but I can't do that here. The risks that someone finds out about our relationship and the information go to Central are too high."

He looks up at me with an uneasy look, but understands. Linali is gushing over baby outfits and how cute this is and that. Soon after we entered the shop she snatches the boy from my side. As 'the mother' he's the one who should chose while I and the baka usagi are luckily allowed to get a bit away, trying to ignore the awkward looks we get.

Already in that first store the girl wants to buy bags full of stuff, but with a stern mention that it has to be kept a secret she and Allen lower the number to an agreeable expanse. The bill goes to the Order like always though this time Komui has to create some kind of lie for it as to not expose the real reason. We all three boys are greatly relieved when we can leave the building. It is already close to noon and the beansprout's bottomless stomach is complaining so we go to a restaurant. After Allen's order every food stack they had is empty and they close for the day.

Throughout the afternoon Linali drags us through four more stores. Included are two breaks to feed the moyashi again, one crying fit and some outbursts due to his mood swings. With that he nearly manages to scare the baka usagi off. He wanted to interrupt one of his rants and reason with the white head, but both Linali and I know by now that this is useless. And it was, because the small boy directed all of his hormone-driven wrath on the red head. He took refuge behind the girl after that and even I couldn't hold my laughter in. I guess the moyashi scared him for life (not that I'm complaining).

At around five o'clock in the afternoon the moyashi gets seriously tired. For him it is exhausting to run through the city the whole day, so Linali takes pity and lets us go back to the Order. In the end she bought four bags of stuff, which originally the stupid rabbit and I have to carry. But the beansprout falls asleep on our journey home, so I have to carry him from the docks to headquarters and the girls splits the bags with the usagi.

At my room I lay the white head in bed and pull his coat and shoes off. He mumbles something and cuddles under the covers. I caress his face shortly and then sit at my desk to do something I haven't done in ages. I draw. I used to do it shortly after I came free from the second exorcist program. It was one of my ways of coping with what happened. But over the years Tiedoll started to seriously get on my nerves with his obsession with art so I dropped my own drawing. Now the moyashi makes me pick it up again. I draw him, with his peaceful sleeping face, curled in the sheets like a child.

When I'm finished I put the paper away and lock it in my drawer. I pick up one of the pregnancy books to read a bit more into it until close to eleven o'clock in the night my eyelids start to drop as well and I join the white head in the bed.

* * *

The next days are spent with packing. Both of us take what we need and some things for the baby (what Linali bought). Komui told us that proper clothing for the beansprout will already be there. I don't think he could get any redder when he heard the word 'maternity clothing'. Both Lavi and Linali spend a lot of time with Allen, because in a short time he will be gone for half a year. It also leaves me some time for me alone for once. I enjoy letting myself calm down for a bit. I have a lot of time to overthink the situation I'm really in, because earlier everything happened so fast and with looking after the moyashi I didn't find the time for it.

In the last check-up on Friday everything is said to be fine. Komui offers us to tell us the gender but the moyashi refuses, he wants it to be a surprise. I have already caught him thinking about names for the baby. For some reason quite a lot of them are Japanese and he has asked me for the meaning of certain words in my language. When I asked him why from my country he only shrugged and said he liked the sound of these names.

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **Shopping trip relatively short, sorry. But for that we got some fluff ;) Hope you liked it.**

 **The actual reason Allen doesn't want to know the gender of the baby here is because at the time I wrote this chapter I hadn't decided yet which gender the child will have. ;P**

 **Reviews are always appreciated and see you next time.**


	24. Welcome in your new home

**Hello everyone,**

 **we have to leave the Order now.**

 **Thank you for all the reviews.**

 **To delatrix too, but could you maybe translate your review into english. I don't understand the language you wrote in, I'm german.**

 **Disclaimer: I'm running out of creative ways to write that I don't own them.**

* * *

On Saturday at nine o'clock the time is there. We are walking down to the docks. No one apart from the other four persons is supposed to know when exactly we leave. In front of the big door leading out of the HQ the moyashi suddenly stops. When I look at him I see a slight fright in his eyes. I sigh silently and take his hand, making him look at me.

"It's gonna be fine. Don't worry, moyashi," I whisper and lean down, giving him a chaste kiss.

He smiles, "I know, thank you Kanda."

I nod and push the door open. Hand in hand we walk out and find to our surprise Linali, Lavi, Komui and River all standing there, next to the ship we are going to take. We go over to them.

"What are you all doing here?" Allen asks surprised.

Lavi grins, "What do you think, moyashi-chan? Of course we're here to say goodbye to you and Yuu. You're gonna be away for half a year after all."

A smile makes it on the beansprout's face as well, "Thanks, really. But still my name is Allen for you too."

Everyone laughs and the two other teens hurry forward to embrace the white head. Linali has tears in her eyes and promises to visit when the baby is born. Lavi laughs and pats his friend on the back, wishing him luck with what is going to come. Komui gives the boy medical advice and River simply smiles. While the other three are busy over Allen the usagi walks up to me as I have taken a few steps away from the whole group.

"Hey Yuu."

"Don't call me that!"

He laughs, "Yeah, yeah. But anyway look good after Allen, okay?"

I smirk, "Don't worry, I will."

He smiles softly, "Yeah, once you accepted someone close you will do everything in your power to take care of them."

I scowl, "I don't!"

He laughs again, "I know you, Kanda. You would do everything for Allen. But really I'm happy for you. After what happened in your past you deserve the happiness and a family."

I only scoff, trying to deny it again. It only causes him to chuckle.

"I'm serious. But Allen's my friend as well and I want him happy too. He hasn't had an easy past either, so look after him. And I mean both his health and his emotions. It does you good as well. I haven't seen you that much at peace as you're now in the whole time since I know you."

I only huff, but don't argue back. Because, as unwilling as I am to admit it, maybe he's right. But we're interrupted by Linali running over to me and throwing herself around my neck. She is sniffling in my shoulder.

"Take good care of you both, especially Allen. And I want you both to come back in six months with a healthy, cute baby in your arms, understood?"

I smirk and pat her back, "Sure, don't worry."

When she detaches herself from me I walk over to the beansprout who looks nervous but happy as well. His left hand is laying across his stomach and the right one slightly reaches out to me. I smile slightly at him and take it. Then he turns to the four other people and bows slightly.

"Thank you for everything you've done for me. I'm looking forward to seeing you all again in six months. Goodbye."

He smiles sadly as I grunt something akin to a goodbye as well and then tug on his hand to make him move. He squeezes my hand and I help him on the boat. I follow him. As we stand next to the railing he lifts his hand.

"I will visit you as much as I can!" Linali yells and Komui nods.

Allen laughs genuine and when the boat starts to move he waves to our friends and shouts a last goodbye. When we finally leave the shore and the four figures become invisible he lets his hand sink down and his face falls into a sad expression. I tilt his head up to me.

"Oi moyashi. You okay?"

He smiles sadly at me and I pull him into an embrace, "Yeah, I'm fine, BaKanda."

I sigh, letting the nickname slip for once, "You're not, I can see it. Stop trying to play strong."

I lean down and kiss him directly on the lips, not caring that someone could see us. He smiles and responds, putting his hands on my chest. After we part I pull him close and he buries his head into my shoulder, letting some tears slip down. I hold him until we have to leave the boat.

* * *

The over one day travel to the town we're staying at (or close to) passes by calmly, if you don't count two mood swing fits from the moyashi in. He sleeps most of the time, or eats. We arrive at our planned station at around three o'clock in the afternoon. From here it is apparently two hours walking until we reach the farm. The beansprout insists on getting something to eat first and I start to hope Komui is providing the family we're staying at with enough food. Nonetheless I kinda look forward to see what became of Taiyou as he lives there as well.

The walk there takes us nearly three hours because the moyashi gets exhausted fast. So it's already past six when we see the building come closer. We walk the last way and Allen knocks on the door.

"I'm coming!" A woman's voice is heard from behind the wood and footsteps approaching.

Then the door is opened by a woman in her thirties with chest length light brown hair in a braid. She's wearing a simple green dress with a black jacket over it.

"Are you the two exorcists?" She asks us.

After we left the Order we had to change into casual clothes as to not attract attention, so we don't have the rose-cross anymore, but I hope she recognizes me.

"Yes," the moyashi nods.

"Yeah, I remember you were here once," she says, looking at me, then she smiles broadly, "Then welcome! Come in!"

I carefully nudge the moyashi into the hallway. He slightly bows politely to the smiling woman who only waves it away. After we're in she closes the door behind us and turns to us.

"So what I heard from Komui is that he will send me an exorcist couple that needs protection because one of them is pregnant. And that they are both male. That's correct?"

I nod, while the beansprout takes my hand again. The woman looks at us intensely and then nods.

"Don't worry, we don't have anything against same gender relationships even though the bible forbids it. Neither do we trust Central if that's what you are afraid of. And I take it you are the one pregnant?" she motions at the white head.

He nods, "Yes, I am. My name is Allen Walker and this is Yuu Kanda. Nice to meet you and thanks for having us."

She smiles again, "No problem, I'm happy to have guests. Though that thing about a pregnant male is a bit strange to be honest, but it doesn't matter. Anyway my name is Lisa Martin. My husband is in town with the kids at the moment you will meet them later," then she turns to me, "But Taiyou is in. He is so excited. Wait a minute I will call him."

The moyashi looks curious and I smirk.

"Taiyou! Come down! The exorcists are here!" Lisa shouts up to the ceiling.

Soon small hurried footsteps follow, running above our heads and pounding down a staircase. The woman smiles while I carefully take my hand from the moyashi who is still looking confused. Then a door at the back slams open and a child with tousled black hair runs into the hallway. I notice he grew it longer since I last saw him. Light eyes brighten immediately up when they land on me and he runs towards me and a surprised moyashi.

"Mr. Kanda!" he yells in a high voice.

When he reaches us he practically runs straight into me. But I can keep my balance easily so he's hugging more or less my legs. The beansprout's jaw has fallen down, he's staring at the kid. I put a hand on the raven locks.

"I thought I said no 'Mr', baka," I say down to him.

He lifts his face and grins at me, then his arms are stretched up.

"What?" I ask, casting him a strange look.

He only grins broader, "I want to be lifted up."

I frown, "No way. You are old enough to stand on your own feet."

He pouts and tries his best puppy eyes face (though the moyashi is still far better at it), "Pretty please!"

"No, that doesn't work on me," I retort.

But then I feel a hand on my arm and when I turn I see the moyashi's looking at me sternly, "Why not, BaKanda? He just wants up. And you can consider it a training for your own child. Just do it."

I scowl, but don't disobey as he has that look on, 'do what I say now or I'm going to throw a big mood swings tantrum'. So I only 'che' and bend down, picking the boy up who grins. I position him on my side so I can hold him with one arm. He smiles and puts his head in my neck. At that I feel an uncomfortable aura emitting from my left. When I turn I see the moyashi standing there, staring at the child.

"And if you now may answer me a question. Who is this child, Kanda?" he says in an evil-sweet tone, making me sweat-drop and Lisa chuckle.

But before I can explain it, to my unfortunate Taiyou pipes up, "I'm his son!"

"You are not! Are you mad?" I hiss at him, but he only pouts.

The moyashi gives me a truly evil smile, "Is that true, Kanda? You already have a child and don't find it important enough to tell me?"

"I don't! He isn't my son!" I yell defensively, "Are you stupid? Look at his age. I would have been fourteen or something like that when he was born! That's not possible."

Immediately the moyashi's dark side disappears, making me sigh in relief. Lisa is only barely supressing her laughter. Taiyou pouts again, but doesn't object.

"But who is he then?" the white head asks, now curious.

I sigh and shift the boy to run my free hand through the white strands, "Remember that mission I had after which you comforted me? He comes from the city I was at. He latched himself onto me on the streets there and I took him in, because he couldn't stay there. After that I took him to this family because, well, I didn't want to raise a child by myself in the Order."

He nods, "So you're an orphan?" he asks the boy, "And Kanda picked you off the streets?"

The small raven nods and clings to me, "He saved me! I love him like a father!"

"Make that big brother and I will perhaps agree!" I grumble, "And you only were with me for two days until now!"

But I am ignored as the moyashi only dreamily adds, "That's like with me and Mana."

I look at him suspiciously and just like I suspected, shortly after the mention of Mana's name his expression becomes sad. I sigh and lay an arm around his shoulders, leaning in and letting our foreheads touch.

"It's okay, moyashi. I'm here."

He smiles up at me and nods. What none of us notices is that Taiyou frowns (as good as a six year old can do that) at our display of affection. He's apparently not happy about it and tugs on a strand of my hair. I scowl and stand straight again.

"Hey, what are you doing?" I grumble and rip the hair back from his hands.

He points an accusing finger at Allen, "Who is he?"

"What do you mean? He's Allen Walker, my boyfriend."

"Boyfriend? What does that mean?" he crosses his arms.

"Uhm… He's a person I care very much about, maybe the most…" I try to explain.

Now the boy frowns again, thinking for a moment. Then to my surprise he turns to the white head and musters the best angry and I would say competitive look he is capable of up.

"Mr. Kanda is mine! Do you understand that? I won't let you get all his attention!" he huffs, cheeks puffed out.

I am rendered speechless and Lisa and the moyashi break out in loud laughter. The kid looks surprised and almost accusing. After some time the beansprout calms back down and I groan, letting my head hang. Then the white head speaks up again, still chuckling.

"Don't worry, I won't take all of his attention. But most! And I'm not giving any up to you," he grins and I feel his player-self surfacing again.

I groan, "The ways I care for you two, are not comparable! Damn it!"

Lisa and Allen only laugh again. Then the beansprout leans up and gives me a kiss on the lips. Not that I mind and Taiyou's face is priceless. I smirk and pull the smaller closer with my free arm. He giggles.

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **Taiyou's a dear isn't he?**

 **Reviews are always appreciated and see you next chapter.**


	25. Time goes on

**Hello everyone,**

 **next chapter. We're closing in on the end (soon ^^').**

 **Thanks for the reviews as usual and keep that up. I want to pass the 100 reviews; pretty please ;)**

 **Disclaimer: It still hasn't changed...**

* * *

After some moments the woman, who has recovered from her laughing fits, speaks back up.

"Okay, can you maybe tell me some more information about the situation, Komui was relatively vague. We can go to the living room."

"Sure," the moyashi answers and follows her.

I put Taiyou down, causing him to pout. I give him a soft push in the direction of the staircase.

"Go back to your room now. I have something to discuss with the other adults," I say sternly.

He looks at me unwillingly, "But I don't want to! You just arrived! I want to spend more time with you. I can stay still in there or they could…"

"No, you won't come with me. Go back up and I will come later, okay?"

He pouts, "Promise?"

"Yeah"

Then he grins again, "Fine" and runs up the stairs. I groan and enter the living room.

"That boy sure is a handful."

Lisa laughs, "Yes, he is. But he really loves you."

I only 'che' and sit down next to Allen who smiles at me and takes my hand.

"So what do you want to know?" he asks the woman.

"Okay, first I want to confirm. You two are a couple?"

Nod.

"You are both male?"

Nod.

"And you, Allen, are pregnant?"

"Yes, I am," he says and lays his free hand on his stomach. Lisa smiles fondly at the gesture.

"And I take it Kanda is the father?"

"Yes…"

"Good, so how far along are you, Allen?"

We exchange a look, "I think close to five and a half months. In the last check-up I had they said everything is fine."

"So you have around three and a half months left. You are here because you need a place to hide from the church and Central. They would do something to you if they find out."

"That's correct. They would either kill us or do experiments on us."

"I understand. And how are you going to give birth?"

"Komui said he will come during the last month, to the closest hospital. And when it's time, they will make a C-Section."

The woman nods and then suddenly claps her hands together, "Well, this is great! I'm looking forward to your baby. We have a double room prepared for you upstairs. Or would you prefer two separate rooms?"

The moyashi hurriedly shakes his head, "No, it's better that way."

She smiles, "Great, and don't worry Komui told us about your appetite. We are getting enough food to satisfy both you and your baby."

The moyashi blushes and I smirk. Lisa smiles softly at us then she motions upstairs.

"I guess you want to rest after your journey. Your room is the second on the right. Your stuff has already been brought two days ago. The rest of the family should return in about two hours, then we will eat dinner. And Taiyou can wait until then as well, Kanda. Allen's more important right now."

The white head says his thanks and I nod. Then I stand up and pull him to his feet, only now noticing how exhausted he really is. I support him on the way up the stairs while Lisa looks after us with a soft gaze.

The room we got is nothing special, but has all we need. A queen sized bed in the middle. Two dressers and a small table with one chair. The moyashi sighs in contentment and as soon as I release him he lets himself fall onto the bed.

"Thank god, a real bed. I'm so tired," he murmurs.

I sit next to him and stroke his hair, "You okay, beansprout?"

He turns his head and smiles at me, "I'm fine, just a bit exhausted because I couldn't sleep so well on the train and then the walk here."

"Then sleep. I will wake you for dinner," I say to him.

He smiles and crawls under the covers. I pull the blanket higher up and lay myself down next to him. Not long and I doze of slightly as well.

I am woken by a soft voice around two hours later. The moyashi is still happily sleeping next to me, cuddled in my side.

I don't really want to wake him, but he needs his food and I don't want to live through the tantrum we get if we eat without him.

So I carefully lean down over him, lay a hand on his shoulder and try to shake him. He mumbles something incoherent and snuggles himself closer to my warmth. I sigh and try a bit harder. This time reluctant silver orbs drift slowly open. He frowns up at me.

"Kanda? What is it? I want to sleep!"

"I know," I answer, "But dinner is ready and I'm sure you don't want to miss that."

It takes one moment for the sentence to be registered in his mind, then he shoots up, "Food!"

I stare at him strangely because of his outburst but keep quiet. When he jumps out of the bed however he loses balance and threatens to fall. I groan at the thousandth time this happened and rush forward to catch him. He lands safely in my arms and I roll my eyes at the sheepish smile he sends me.

"Uh, sorry. I should be more careful. Thanks, Kanda."

I wordlessly put him on his feet and motion him to go downstairs. He grins and does so. I sigh another time and follow him.

Dinner goes fine, though the kids are shocked about all the food the moyashi wolfs down. The Martins have two children. A boy, Julian, of nine years and a girl, Anne, of six years. The two and their father, Thomas, are staring at the white head quite a lot during dinner. Luckily he is too focused on his food to notice. Taiyou tough mostly scowls at Allen and uses every possibility to get close to me (from time to time getting on my nerves terribly). Nonetheless all three children are excited when they are told that the moyashi will have a baby (Taiyou asking if he or she will be his sibling).

After the meal Allen is pretty tired so I decide to put him back in bed immediately despite his and the children's protest. I see Lisa smile at me knowingly, causing me to frown. Nonetheless as soon as the moyashi hits the soft mattress again, his eyes fall closed too. I only sigh and curse his stubbornness. I draw the covers over him and reluctantly walk out again. I'm not tired and the others requested I come back.

In the end I have to bring Taiyou to bed because he wanted it like that. After that I manage to get away from a drawn out conversation by saying I need my sleep as well. When I crawl in bed next to the sleeping white head, he immediately moves over and cuddles himself close to my chest. I heave another sigh but stay still. Soon I fall asleep too.

* * *

The next morning I am woken by Lisa's loud voice, telling Taiyou to not go into our room. Luckily the moyashi became a heavy sleeper since the pregnancy started so he doesn't notice the ruckus and stays in dreamland. I guess he needs every rest he can get. I smile down at him and run a hand through his strands.

An hour (I have dressed and washed by now) later the beansprout also wakes up. I am sitting on the bed next to him, reading one of the pregnancy books with obvious reluctance. He yawns and then looks at me.

"Morning Kanda."

"Hey moyashi. You fine?"

"Yeah, I'm good. I feel much more awake than yesterday." He sits up, "Where is breakfast?"

I chuckle at that and ruffle his hair, "Get dressed and we will be heading down."

He does so and we go to the kitchen. As I said Lisa is already made food and is waiting for Allen's arrival. He smiles happily, behaving like a little child while at it.

The rest of the day we spend separate, because I am claimed by the children showing me around the farm and have to help Thomas with the work. Damn Komui told them I had to do it as some kind of repayment. The moyashi meanwhile talks with Lisa about the situation and pregnancy and sleeps some more (really how much can he sleep?).

* * *

The next month and a half progresses fine. Only the moyashi practically grows bigger and bigger per day. Soon he can't even fit into my shirts anymore, annoying him beyond reason. I have learned very early on to not make any jokes about this subject as that immediately ends in a huge mood-swings-tirade. When it comes to these mood swings it's like on/off. There are days where he acts perfectly normal, on others so much as a wrong sound can trigger a huge tantrum. If you ask me he is getting more difficult day by day. I don't even want to imagine how he is going to be close to nine months.

Still the first time forcing him into 'maternity clothing' (five days ago) was hilarious, even though no one in this house says it out loud as not to upset the unstable boy. When Lisa suggested it the first time he blushed a deeper red than I have seen on any human until now and rejected it harshly. Only when three days later even my sleeping shirt which is normally too big for me, didn't fit his stomach anymore (while the sleeves hung far over his hands), he let it happen. And even though Komui had slack trousers and of course fitting shirts made, so we didn't have to put him into a dress, he fought nail and teeth against it. In the end we were all dishevelled and he was embarrassed for the bright violet shirt he wore, too bad Komui was allowed to do the design. It took me nearly a whole evening to convince him that he still looked great after that.

* * *

But what makes me more uneasy is that he started to have nightmares these days. I don't know how bad they were before he started sleeping in my room, but in all this time I have only witnessed very few. But now they are getting more and apparently darker, if his reactions are anything to go by like the night two days ago.

I wake up to a moyashi shaking in my arms. A short glance to the clock tells me it's somewhere in the middle of the night. Hurriedly I return my focus back to the trembling boy next to me. When I look down I see that his eyes are still closed, he's sleeping. A nightmare again. Suddenly I hear him mumbling.

"M-Mana… No… No, don't! … Please don't do this… The b… No, Kanda!"

Hearing his desperate tone I try to shake him awake as fast as possible.

"Moyashi! Oi, wake up! It's only a dream!"

Suddenly he shoots upright a silent scream on his lips, eyes wide and frantic, body shaking and bathed in sweat. His gaze darts around the room in panic. Hurriedly I sit up and wrap my arms around him, drawing him close to me, rubbing his back and whisper calming words to him.

"It's okay, moyashi. It was only a dream. I'm here. You're safe, I'm safe, the baby is safe inside of you. Nobody is harming either of you."

He buries his head in my chest and just simply lets his tears flow. I let him do and only hold him until he calms down. In between the sobs he chokes some words out.

"Please don't let them take it! I can't! Please, protect our child! Please Kanda!"

I assure him but all in all, everything I can do is listen to his pleads and hold him. Eventually his sobs calm down and he drops asleep again from the exertion. I sigh, like I do every time this happens and move to lay down again, with him pressed close to my body, hoping to protect him from the nightmares.

In the morning he usually doesn't remember what happened. I think it's better that way.

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **Hope you liked it and see you next time.**


	26. A fight

**Hello everyone,**

 **I am most likely not going to have any internet this weekend so I am uploading today already.**

 **Thanks for the Reviews as usual though we didn't make the 100 :P**

 **To Ryuakilover: The Order, Central, the church in general, the Noahs... All those who could mean harm to the baby. Whoever he is dreaming about at the moment.**

 **Disclaimer: Yeah, no, still don't own them. But Taiyou and Lisa are my characters.**

* * *

Right now he has passed his seven month mark three days ago and we're sitting in the kitchen, reading in the early afternoon.

That is until suddenly Taiyou appears and jumps into my lap, demanding attention. After a look to the moyashi who is engrossed in his book, I reluctantly agree to spend time with the boy at least once. He beams up at me and grabs my hand, dragging me to the sitting room which is attached to the kitchen.

He occupies my focus after that for several hours (at least it feels like that). He draws and makes me play with him. I try to keep an eye on Allen who is still sitting at the kitchen table, but after some time the boy in front of me manages to monopolise my attention. I never though a child his age would still need this much affection. I know nothing about children this old because I never got to know some nor was I ever that young, but normally you would have some kind of independence at six years, no? Unfortunately I don't notice the irritated glances the moyashi throws us either.

Sometime around five o'clock though he has apparently enough. He slams his book closed and stomps over to us.

"What do you think you're doing?" he hisses when he arrives next to us.

Surprised I look up and so does Taiyou, "What do you mean, moyashi? I am playing with Taiyou."

"I can see that, jerk!" he growls.

I frown, I have only heard him use a tone this hostile very few times (and mostly towards a Noah or his master). Even when in his mood swings fits he isn't that angry. Especially not towards Taiyou and I can clearly see the boy is frightened by Allen's behaviour. Plus I don't see his problem. Why shouldn't I play with the boy? He said himself I should take him as a training for our own child.

"So what do you mean?" I inquire.

"You're not supposed to spend time with him!" the beansprout suddenly spits.

"What?!" I ask shocked. What the hell is he thinking? Even for being hormonal I don't get that thought process.

"You have to spend time with me! Not him!" he yells, clarifying.

"What the - ? Moyashi, I spend every spare minute I have with you! I was only some feet away from you just now. Where the hell is your problem?"

I notice I am getting agitated as well. That's not good. It has been for too long that I have been forced to put up with his mood swings. Every person in the Order knows I am not a patient person. I have already shown immense control by not snapping at him until now. I try my best to vent my rage by demolishing trees whenever I reach my limit out here, but I don't know if I can stop myself this time. The sheer ridiculousness of the situation is not helping at all.

"What my problem is?" he snorts, his voice going over the edge, "If you haven't noticed yet, BaKanda, I'm fucking pregnant! Thanks to you! And all you do is play with someone else's child instead of looking after me!"

For a moment his answer leaves me shell-shocked and unable to retaliate, then I feel my well-known anger boiling up. No, shit! I shouldn't lash out at the moyashi now, but I can't really stop it.

"I fucking know that! And I do everything I can to compromise for it!" I shout at him, "Plus it was not like I planned to have a child with you!"

His eyes widen but then harden in anger as he yells back, "So it was just a mistake for you! Some little mistake and now the all big and mighty Kanda has to deal with looking after the poor little pregnant boy. And of course that's nothing but a nuisance for you!"

"Are you stupid? I fucking agreed on my free will to support you through the pregnancy if you can't even remember that!"

"Maybe it was just a stupid duty! Because even though you're an ashole, dutiful you are or at least pretend to be!"

"What the fuck do I have to do so you will bloody believe me!? I have put up with fucking everything you threw at me until now!"

"Why do you even do that?" he taunts, "I bet Komui made you take it as a mission."

My mouth falls agape, "What the fuck? You were there, the sister-complex said nothing about a fucking mission!"

"There is no other explanation, for goodness's sake! You don't love me after all!" Now there is hurt as well in his eyes, but I am not able to calm my temper anymore.

"I fucking explained! I don't love you, because I am not bloody able to love! I don't even fucking know what love means!" I yell, aspects of my past resurfacing and further fuelling my anger.

"You pretend to not know love, but for Taiyou you have it!" he screams, tears now running down his cheeks, "But not for me!"

"I **care** for Taiyou as I **care** for you, baka moyashi! And now stop shouting, you're scaring him!" I try to make it clear but apparently he doesn't want to hear.

"See, he's more important than me! Than your own child! Why don't you stick with him when you already have a perfect son!? You don't need our child anymore then, born from a male freak!" he yells, hurt and crying freely.

Taiyou cowers in my arms but I am too shocked by the moyashi's words to notice, "More than my own child? Are you fucking insane?"

"There you go again! Is insulting all you can do? Are you too stupid to think of anything else?" he snaps.

"What? Moyashi! You're going way too far. Shut up now or you're going to regret it!" I hiss in between clenched teeth.

"See," he yells at me, "You don't care about us! The best would be if we would just disappear from your life, right? You know what, I will do you this favour! I hate you, Kanda!"

And with that, before I can so much as open my mouth he storms out of the room and the house, tears streaming down his cheeks.

I stay still, shocked for a moment, then I want to run after him. But a tug on my trouser leg makes me look down. I spot a teary Taiyou who is looking up at me with a mixture of guilt and fear.

"I-I am so sorry," he sniffs, "It is my fault that Mr. Allen and you fought! I am really sorry, Mr. Kanda!"

I sigh and repress a growl of annoyance. Instead I bend down and pull the boy into an embrace, stroking his head.

"No, you're not. It was my own fault. I know that the moyashi isn't so well at the moment and I shouldn't have snapped at him," I try to comfort the boy but he just keeps mumbling that it is his fault into my shirt.

Right at that moment the door flies open and Lisa storms in, looking around nervously.

"What happened? I heard shouting."

"The moyashi and I fought, because he said I would spend too much time with Taiyou and not him," I explain hastily, my whole body screaming to go after the white head.

She looks at me strangely but I only shrug, "I don't get it either. Anyway he stormed out."

Her eyes widen, "Then you have to go after him immediately! He shouldn't be out in his condition! It could happen who-knows-what to him."

"I know," I growl, "But Taiyou has to stop crying first."

She frowns but nods, "Give him to me and search for Allen."

I nod grimly, "I will."

Then I carefully lift the boy in my arms up and hand him over to Lisa. She sends me a worried look then focuses on the child in her arms. Hushing and rocking him, the tears slowly stop. I on the other hand grab Mugen which had been laying on the table and sprint out of the door.

Regarding the direction the moyashi headed out, I guess he went into the woods. Dear lord, how am I supposed to find him there? Plus with his unbelievable ability to get lost he could be anywhere by now. I just hope I can find him in time before something happens. Immediately I run over to the forest. All I can do is search.

"There I go again, running after you, moyashi. You better be fine when I find you… Please be okay," I murmur to myself, not wanting anyone to hear it.

* * *

~ With Allen ~

Allen stops, putting a hand on the tree next to him, panting heavily. He is bent over, trying to catch his breath and stabilise his body with the added weight pulling him forward. He is absolutely exhausted and wants nothing more than return to the house, return to Kanda, his anger is nearly vanished until now. But just how in his nature he is, of course, lost. By now the sun has set and it is dark in the forest. And he is afraid. Not for himself, if he were out in a normal state he wouldn't spare a thought at it, but the child inside of him is in danger and he can't defend himself properly.

At the moment he wishes desperately that Kanda will come and find him. But he knows it's unlikely regarding how he insulted the raven. The older exorcist can be a very unforgiving and proud person and would never chase after him into the woods.

Again his eyes tear up as he lets himself fall down next to the tree, his legs giving way under him. He wipes the moisture away. Damned hormones! They were what brought him in this mess to begin with.

He sits there for some moments, salty drops running down his cheeks and simply staring at the small patch of sky he can see in between the tree-tops.

That is until a twig snaps in the bushes behind him. His eyes widen and his head shoots around. He starts to shake when a low growl resounds from there. He gulps, looking at the green. Ever so slowly a four-legged shadow emerges from it.

His voice gets stuck in his throat and he freezes when the creature steps into the moonlight. A wolf! And a huge on at that. Grey fur shines in the light and its long canines are bared. It growls again and then readies itself for the killing jump.

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **Not a good situation Allen got himself into. And cliffhanger ;P**

 **Keep on reviewing and see you next week.**


	27. Never do that again!

**Hello everyone,**

 **thank you for all the reviews as always. Finally over 100, Yay! New record for me ^^**

 **For those who said the chapter was short, I know I'm keeping most of them relatively short, but for that I am updating regularily. I don't like chapters that are longer than 3k words, so I make short ones in my own stories. It also makes it easier to name the chapters in my opinion.**

 **Anyway, here is the next chapter. Resolving the cliffhanger from last time.**

 **Disclaimer: None of the two is mine, but Lisa is my OC and I own thw wolves ;P**

* * *

~ Back to Kanda ~

I am running through the forest (again). This time I am not wearing my coat, neither do I have a golem to locate the moyashi. The only thing I can do is hope that I find him in time.

Suddenly all of my senses turn on alarm. There is someone or rather something. Unconsciously I turn towards the source of this feeling. Breaking out into a desperate sprint I finally come out on a very small clearing and freeze out of shock at the white head of hair I spot.

There is the moyashi. He is sitting with the back against a tree, one hand protectively wrapped around his swollen abdomen. He seems frozen and there are tear stains on his cheeks. But what frightens me far more is the wolf in front of him, looking ready to pounce.

No way this is happening! I swore to protect the moyashi and the baby! And I will not let them be harmed by some filthy animal. Immediately I storm forward. I catch a movement from the bushes from the corner of my eyes but decide to ignore it for now.

The beansprout rolls himself around his middle trying to protect the child inside of him. When the wolf jumps he screams. I have never heard so much fear in his voice.

But just in time I manage to get in between the creature and Allen. I stand protectively in front of the boy. So instead of getting him all the wolf's fangs meet is the blade of Mugen. I swing the sword away and the animal flies with it, a high whine coming from it. A long gash goes from it's nuzzle until the shoulder. It lands harshly on the ground but I don't care.

I turn hurriedly around to concentrate on the moyashi. He's still curled on the ground, shaking and crying. As careful as I can I lay a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey moyashi. It's me. Are you okay?"

He only very slowly moves out of his position but when his eyes take me in, they widen, he cries out and throws himself at my neck.

"Kanda! You're here! You really came! I was so frightened! The wolf… And the baby… And…" he isn't even able to form understandable sentences anymore.

I pull him close, stroking his back, "Shh, calm down. Calm down. The wolf can't hurt you anymore. I promised I would protect you and the baby."

But before he can answer me I hear another growl. Hurriedly I turn and see four more wolves coming out of the bushes. Shit! That creature got a pack! What I noticed earlier were more wolves. Allen starts shaking in my arms and I clutch him tighter.

"K-Kand-da?" he whispers, voice breaking.

"Don't worry," I answer in a low tone, "I can fight them. Just stay back here. And don't move. I will protect you."

His eyes search mine and they are filled with fright, but nonetheless he complies and moves back as close to the tree as possible. I stand straight and hold my arms out at the sides in a protective gesture.

"Fuck off! You will not harm him!" I growl.

As answer one of the wolves jumps directly at me. I let it collide harshly with the dull side of my blade and throw it against a tree. It whines loudly and a crack resounds through the woods, causing Allen to cringe. He doesn't like harming anything even if it wanted to attack him just moments before. Two more animals ready themselves. I easily evade the first one and cut the second on it's right foreleg. A growl comes from behind me and I swirl around. To my shock I see the one I dodged earlier heading straight for the moyashi. With a growl rivalling theirs I throw myself in between the creature and it's target. Sharp claws rip my shirt and cut the skin underneath slightly. I snarl but nonetheless I plunge my blade deep into the creature. It gives a long sound of pain then it falls completely limp. I hear the moyashi whimper behind me, but I will deal with that later. Instead I turn to the one remaining wolf which is unhurt. It growls venomously at me, but I glare unimpressed at it. Suddenly the first one to attack, the alpha of the pack I guess, makes a sound deep in it's chest and to my surprise all the animals retreat, taking the wounded with them.

I hold my sword at their retreating backs just to be safe, but none of them tries anything anymore. As soon as they're gone I put Mugen back into the sheath and hurry to the beansprout. He is shaking but not injured. Relieved I gather him into my arms and pull him close.

"God moyashi, never do that again. You could have died and the baby with you."

"I'm sorry, I really am! Also for what I said! I don't know what was wrong with me," he sobs into my shoulder, but I simply keep quiet, rocking and caressing him.

"It's okay. It was just hormones and frustration. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that either."

"No, no. You were right! You put up with so much already! And I… "

But I interrupt him, looking him directly in the eyes, "And you are the one carrying the child. You have to put up with morning sickness, back aches and god-knows-what. So it's okay. Just don't run off into the woods again. You saw how dangerous that can be."

"Yeah, I did," he sniffles, "Thank you Kanda, really. How many times have you saved me now?"

I smirk, "I don't know. Too many times to count."

He hits me softly, "Jerk."

It earns him another smirk from me.

"But we should get back to the house. They're worried too. And you need warmth and food."

"Yeah, but you have to tend to your wounds as well," he murmurs, his head falling against my shoulder.

"They will heal," I only answer and hoist him up in my arms.

He snuggles closer but when I start walking he suddenly asks a question, "Why did the wolves leave so abruptly?"

I smirk again, "I guess the alpha saw I was only fighting for my mate and there was no defeating me like that, so he chose retreat."

"Mate?" he stares up at me amused.

"In wolf-sight," I only shrug.

He simply lets his head fall on my chest again and I can carry him back to the house without problems. Lisa immediately welcomes me as soon as I step in, fussing over Allen and the scratches on my chest. I put the moyashi down in a chair near the fire and reluctantly agree to let the woman tend to my wounds while telling her what happened. The children are already asleep and her husband is taking care of the animals.

But just when we are finished with my injuries the white head lets out a small cry. Immediately I push the woman aside and hurry to him. I kneel on the ground before him.

"Hey moyashi, you okay? Did the wolves injure you somewhere?" I ask, trying to mask the worry I feel.

"No," he shakes his head, "It's no wound. It's more like - Aah!"

"Allen?!"

He puts a hand on his bump and a feeling of dread washes over me, "Is something wrong with the baby?"

"I-I don't know. It hurts terribly, but it doesn't feel like something is wrong," he stutters, his eyes, once again holding fear, looking into mine.

"Make space!" Lisa suddenly pushes me to the side.

She prods and feels the moyashi's stomach while he cries out another time. A very tense silence for us both settles in the room. Before the woman breathes out a sigh of relief.

"W-What is i-it?" the boy asks frightened.

"Don't worry, you're not losing the baby," Lisa assures us and we both breathe in relief, "You're not going into labour either yet. This are only false labour pains."

"False labour?"

"Yeah, doesn't happen to everyone. I guess the stress triggered it for you now."

"Does it do any damage?" he asks in a small voice.

Lisa smiles a calming smile, "No, it is completely natural. I would say there will be a few more twinges of pain for you and then it is going to be over. But it can happen again in the next time until the actual birth of course."

The beansprout sighs in relief and falls into my arms. I pull him close, covering my own fright and worry.

And just as Lisa said he has to breathe through two more pains then none comes anymore. He slumps into my arms, collapsing from all that happened today. I carefully lift him up and carry him to our bedroom, washing the bigger dirt from him before laying him down and tucking him in. I clean myself shortly and then crawl under the covers next to him. Without hesitation or waiting for his move I pull him close to my chest and embrace him closely.

"Never do something like that ever again," I murmur to him even though he's already asleep, "I couldn't bear to lose you, Allen. My moyashi."

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **Both are a bit OOC, I know. But hey, one is on hormones and the other is discovering that he has indeed emotions.**

 **Please keep on reviewing and see you next time.**


	28. Visitor

**Hello everyone,**

 **here is the next chapter, a bit longer one.**

 **Thanks for the reviews as usual.**

 **Disclaimer: Still hasn't changed.**

* * *

Luckily after that we can continue in a peaceful way without more stress or danger for him or the child, thank god. Though I would say he is a bit more careful with his mood swing fits now, trying to control them, after he had been reminded I still have my bad temper, no matter how much I try to keep it in check. Even though this episode was slightly frightening and I don't want it to happen again, maybe it was for the good of us both. It gave us both a clearer view of the other and made us think. Me actually about what I feel for him exactly.

But that's a different subject. Now he is at the end of his 8th month and he is getting seriously huge. I wouldn't want to be in his place at the moment, really not. I am doing my best in helping him, massaging him when he needs it and being with him as much as I can (not that I am relieved from my farm work at the same time). I guess, unconsciously I am trying to make up for what I put him through. Nonetheless he seems to be happy so I am fine with it. He has started to search for a lot more closeness in the last weeks, always searching for safety next to me. I let him, giving me the chance to simply watch him like this.

Regarding the circumstances of my, err… birth (creation would be more fitting), I have never seen anyone pregnant or had a normal life for that matter. I remember once asking one of the supervisors what it means to be birthed and if every human comes from a pool in the ground. He tried to explain about parents, but I didn't get it. The concept of father and mother was not understandable for me. Today I am trying my best at doing so, but I am still not so sure as I never had something akin to a parent (Tiedoll doesn't count). I guess that's also why the whole pregnant-thing fascinated me that much in the beginning (resulting in wanting to touch the moyashi's stomach), because I simply had never known what it actually meant to be expecting a child. That I do now.

Anyway, it's around half past three in the afternoon, one day from the eight months mark away, meaning in about a month the child will be born. At the moment the beansprout is curled up at my side, pressing close to my warmth for comfort, and sleeping, like he does most of the time. From what we guessed the child is draining his body more than a woman's because his was not made for this and he is still pretty young too, just by the way. I am reading a book next to him (for once not about pregnancy).

Suddenly the doorbell rings. Surprising because very few people actually come to the house, only for the farm to buy something but not at this door. Lisa told friends to, if possible, not visit during the months we are here, so no one will find out where we are.

I hear Lisa going to the door while the boy next to me only groans and cuddles deeper into my side. I sigh and stroke his hair. Until I suddenly hear a very familiar female voice.

"I wanted to visit. Are they in?"

Linali! Why is she here? To protect our location, Komui said no visits. I just hope nothing happened. We don't need another crisis here. On the other hand maybe the supervisor just acted on his sister-complex, allowing the girl basically everything. And that includes seeing Allen even though she shouldn't be allowed to.

"Uhm, sure they are. I will bring you to their room." I hear Lisa say as an answer.

Soon I hear steps coming up the stairs until they stop in front of our door. Then a soft knock.

"Kanda? Allen? Are you there? You have a visitor," the woman asks.

I curse under my breath and detangle the moyashi from me. I pull the cover over him to keep him warm. When I want to leave he groans and his eyes flutter open halfway.

"Kanda? Is something wrong?"

"No, everything fine. I need to go out for a moment. You can sleep on, I will wake you later."

He mumbles something and curls back under the sheets. Carefully I walk to the door and open it, slipping out before Linali can see the beansprout. That would most likely lead her to squeal what would surely wake the boy. I cross my arms and scowl.

"What is it?"

Just at that moment someone throws their arms around me.

"I'm so happy to see you!" Linali giggles.

I scowl, "Can you be a bit quieter? The moyashi's sleeping and I don't really need him to wake up."

"Aw, so cute. You care so much for him," she giggles, thankful in a lower tone.

"No, he's unbearable if he doesn't get enough sleep, that's all," I answer nonchalantly.

He face falls and she releases me, "Bah, you're a jerk."

I roll my eyes, "And that's new? Anyway what the hell are you doing here?"

She grins again, "I came to visit you two. And to see how Allen looks nowadays."

"I thought nobody apart from Komui should know where we are?"

Now she smirks, "That's true, but Komui could never say 'no' if his sweet little sister asks him for something."

"Che!" Damned, cheeky girl!

"How about we go downstairs? If we keep on standing here we will surely wake Allen and I can promise you, you don't want to deal with that, Linali," Lisa says with a wide grin.

I roll my eyes but cringe inwardly at a memory of an overenergized Taiyou waking him up accidently. It took me a whole hour to get him to calm back down. No need to repeat that. Linali only looks at the woman questioningly but follows her to the living room. I also walk there, though reluctant.

"So how is Allen?" the girl asks as soon as we are seated.

"Sleeping," I answer curtly.

"I know that," she rolls her eyes.

"No, he's right. He sleeps a lot these day. He needs the rest," Lisa intervenes.

I contemplate telling them that he doesn't get much sleep in the night because of nightmares, the baby kicking, cravings or whatever shit. But in the end I refrain from it. No need to worry them any further.

"I assume he's getting huge!" the exorcist says with gleaming eyes, earning a snort from me and a chuckle from Lisa.

"Yeah, just don't say it in front of him, he'll get mad or crying, depending on his mood."

I roll my eyes again, more unpleasant memories flowing through me. I am really going to be happy when the baby is out and I don't have to treat the moyashi like a raw egg anymore.

While the two women chat more I lean back and tune the conversation out. To be honest I have gotten very little sleep as well lately. During the night I have to keep the beansprout company and throughout the days I have a hard time falling asleep to begin with. And for some reason the boy has developed an unnerving tendency to wake up and want something right when I managed to come close to dozing off.

Suddenly a shout rips me out of my musing.

"Kanda? Where are you?"

I recognize the hint of fear in it and stand up immediately. I sigh and turn to the surprised looking Linali.

"I have to go. I will ask him if he wants to come down. Don't follow me," I grumble and hurry up.

When I walk into our room, the moyashi is sitting on the bed, looking at me slightly frightened. But his features soften immediately and he relaxes as he sees it's me. The next thing he does is throwing himself at me, grabbing me around the waist. His increased weight nearly throws me off balance but I am able to stabilize both of us.

"Hey moyashi, you okay?"

He grins up at me, "Sure, I just didn't see you. I was worried!"

"Uh, sure…" I say and reposition him on the bed, "Okay, moyashi. Linali's here. She is downstairs in the living room. I didn't tell you earlier because you were sleeping. She wants to see you."

His eyes light up, "Linali?"

"Yeah, apparently Komui let her visit."

"I want to go down," he says, scrambling out of bed.

I sigh and catch him before he can fall and straighten him. Following his request I lead him out of the door, keeping him from bouncing while at it. As soon as we enter the living room he lets go of me and throws himself at Linali's neck.

"Linali! I missed you!" he shouts.

She looks taken aback by the sudden action but soon wraps her arms around the boy as well.

"Me too. I'm glad to see you're fine. I was afraid something happened."

"No, everything is great," he beams, "Well, we had a little problem some time ago, but it's cleared."

Linali turns to me questioningly, but I only shake my head. I really don't need to talk about that now.

Meanwhile the girl is gushing over Allen's stomach, softly running her hands over it.

"Wow, you're already so far along. The baby is really getting big!"

Both Lisa and I cringe, hoping the moyashi won't take it the wrong way and throw another mood swings fit. Luckily he doesn't. Instead he smiles broadly (a true smile) and lays one of his hands on the bulge too.

"I know. I really can't wait until the baby is born. I am so happy I'm getting a family."

He smiles dreamily and turns to me halfway. The hand not on his belly reaches out towards me. I sigh and walk over taking it and sitting down next to him. As the couch doesn't offer that much space, he uses the excuse to climb on my lap. I stop myself from sighing the umpteenth time and warp an arm around his waist, securing him. Linali smiles at us and giggles. This time I can't keep the eye-roll in.

"Hm, sometimes I really also want a baby…" she says in the same dreamy tone.

I snort from behind the white head, "Good luck with your brother. Try to keep the father away from him. And an advice, if the baby has red hair he will know who he has to hunt for."

She pouts at me and sticks her tongue out. The moyashi hits me softly.

"That was rude, Kanda. You got me pregnant on accident as well."

"Yeah, but you don't have an overprotective brother, thank you very much."

"That's true. But you know what…" he says thoughtful.

I raise an eyebrow, "What?"

"I don't think I am regretting it at all. Yeah, there were some bad times, but so much good came out of it, I don't care."

He smiles and leans back into me, snuggling into my chest. I can't stop a smile from entering my face as I lean down. I agree with him, even though this came so differently than I ever wanted, I am happy. I have someone who loves me and am getting a family. It makes even me able to forget at least the war for a second. I don't think I will ever be able to forget my past though, not even for a moment.

"You're right," I whisper and then put my lips on his, giving him a soft kiss.

I feel him smile under my lips and respond. When we pull apart I see a strange glint of happiness in our friend's eyes as she watches us. Then she grins and hugs us.

"I'm really happy for you two. You deserve happiness after all both of you have been through."

And even I don't want to scatter the moment by saying that the war is not over yet. So I keep simply quiet and let the other two grin at each other.

The rest of the evening goes by smoothly. Dinner and some more talking. I use the moyashi and his needed rest to get away early and he happily curls up in my side in the bed.

Linali stays for another day. She spends basically the whole time with Allen, which I am actually thankful for. I really like him (now) but for months I have been with him 24/7 and I am really not used to being around other people more than absolutely necessary. So this day gets me time alone and the peace I desperately need before I snap at him another time. Really no need for that.

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **We are getting to the end, promise. All there is left are three chapters and a long (4k+) epilogue.**

 **See you next time and please keep on reviewing.**


	29. Akumas! and other problems

**Hello everyone,**

 **here we go towards the end of the story.**

 **Thanks for the seviews as always.**

 **Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own either of our exorcists or the akumas. The story and other characters here are mine though.**

* * *

Due to being hormonal, the moyashi cries when it is time to say goodbye to Linali. But because of the same hormones, five minutes later he is happily bouncing around me. Dear lord, I will never understand that. Lisa sends him to bed early and after some persuading on his part I go with him. When I crawl under the covers and lay down, he immediately scoots over, cuddling into my arms. I sigh and embrace him, knowing he needs to feels safe. After some silence he speaks up again.

"Kanda? Can I ask you something?"

"Hm, what?" I answer surprised, I thought he was already asleep.

"What you said yesterday…" he starts hesitantly, "About not regretting it at all. Do-Do you mean that?"

Surprised I tilt his head up to look into his eyes. They are shining with desperation and some fear. My heart wrenches at the sight.

"Of course I did, I wouldn't have said it otherwise," I assure him in a calm voice.

A true smile stretches across his face, "Yeah, thank you so much."

"Nothing to thank me, moyashi," I grumble, trying to will the ever so slight blush from my cheeks.

"I'm serious, thank you. For everything, even though you hated me."

I ruffle his hair, "I stopped really hating you long ago, baka moyashi."

He smiles again, "Yeah… But my name is still Allen."

He grins and I chuckle, "Okay, whatever. Time to sleep now, you need your rest."

"Don't treat me like I am a baby!" he pouts.

"You are not, but you're carrying one. And for that you need strength," I counter and pull the blanket over him.

Immediately he yawns, "Pah. Night, BaKanda."

I roll my eyes at the nickname, "Night moyashi."

* * *

Time passes again and before I can look there is only a good week left until the due date Komui calculated. We got a message from him two and a half weeks ago that he is now at the hospital and we should contact him with the golems when contractions start.

The moyashi is getting anxious these days. I guess he is afraid of the birth and excited to hold the baby in his arms soon. And that he can only move with help anymore doesn't help the situation. No one in our job likes to not be able to defend themselves and having to rely on others, even if you trust these persons (I'm extreme when it comes to that, I admit that).

He's laying beside me on the bed while I am reading one of the books he brought from his room out loud. He is softly smiling up at me, eyes half closed. I finish a chapter and look at him.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine, Kanda. Except my back is killing me like always."

I chuckle carefully, "Yeah, thought so. Do you need a massage?"

"Hmh. Maybe a bit…"

I roll my eyes playfully and move over to sit him upright. I let him lean against my chest, kneeling behind him.

"Tell me when I hurt you," I say, carefully putting my hands on the small of his back.

"Sure, I will. Besides – "

But before he can say anything more a loud crash resounds. Battle instincts kicking in I grab the moyashi and position myself in front of him, my eyes frantically searching for Mugen. I finally spot it leaning against the end of the bed. At that moment, Allen groans softly. I turn hurriedly.

"Moyashi, something wrong? The baby?" I ask concerned.

"No," he murmurs, "My eye."

"Your eye – "

"It activated!"

Now I see his left eye, completed with the gears in front of it. Shit! I know what that means.

"Fuck! Akuma!" I hiss.

The white head nods fearfully, one hand protectively on his belly. I see that and put one of my hands on his, trying to calm him down.

"It's okay. Don't panic. I can defeat them. You can't fight. Komui said no Innocence activation as long as you carry the child, but you don't need to worry. I will protect all of you. No one is going to hurt you or the baby, okay?"

I look him intensely in the eyes and luckily I see the fear in them slightly diminishing. I squeeze his shoulder, then help him out of bed and onto his own feet. Suddenly Lisa with the children in tow bursts through the door.

"Allen! Come with me! There are akuma attacking our stables. We have a save room in the basement. You need to hide there, you are in no condition to fight!"

The white head gives me another frightened look but I nod to the woman, "I know. I would have sent him to you anyway. I will fight them."

She nods as well but suddenly Taiyou shoots forward, clutching on the leg of my trousers, "What is happening, Mr Kanda? Why do you have to fight these monsters? Please stay with us!"

I pry him off and put him in front of me, "That's my job, Taiyou, fighting these creatures. And even if not, I have to protect you all. But I will be fine. So be a good boy and keep a good eye on Allen for me, will you? He needs someone who looks after him and prevents him from doing something stupid. Can you do that for me?"

He nods determinedly, "Yes, I will!"

"Good," I stand back up, grabbing Mugen in the process. Immediately the moyashi waddles to me. I pull him close for a moment, "Don't worry, moyashi. I can manage."

"They are many," he whispers, "Please be careful, Kanda. I need you to come back."

"I will, promise. Remember? I'm not so easy to kill," I smirk and give him a last kiss, before carefully pushing him over to Lisa, "And now go! Take care as well!"

The woman nods and hurriedly drags the children and Allen out of the room, in the direction of the basement. I dash without a hesitation outside.

Nonetheless I stop short when I see what awaits me. 'Many' doesn't quite catch the situation. There are hordes of akuma, mostly level 1 and 2, with one or two level 3. Luckily nothing stronger. I have no idea why they are here, but to be honest I don't care. All I know is that I have to defeat them.

I take a deep breath. I need to protect everyone in the house. I smirk slightly, stunned at how much I changed in the span of only nine months. I call for the second illusion of my sword, readying the blades. Then with a battles scream I shoot out into the fight.

"You are not going to take the (most likely) only fucking chance I have for a family away from me! No way in hell!"

* * *

~ Meanwhile in the safe room ~

It has been about an hour since they left Kanda and Allen is really getting worried. He can see the akuma getting killed one by one in his eye, but there are still so many. He is sitting on the only chair, clenching his hands and rubbing his belly, trying to stifle the aches he is receiving from it.

But apparently he is not subtle enough to escape Lisa's gaze. Because soon she walks over to him putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Allen, is everything okay?"

He nods strained, "I'm fine."

But right then he winces when a stronger pains shoots through him. The hand on his belly tightens. Lisa frowns.

"Are you experiencing pain from your stomach?"

Allen groans, "I'm fine," he repeats, taking a deep breath.

Grumbling something, the woman pushes his hand away, feeling his belly. Suddenly her expression turns into something between fear and shock. Nervously the boy looks up at her.

"Is something wrong?" he asks with wavering voice.

"Your belly is completely hard! Your labour has started!"

Immediately Allen blanches. No! Why now? Kanda is outside fighting and he can't go out. But they need to get to the hospital. He starts rubbing the bulge nervously, like willing the labour away.

For a moment Lisa just stands there, then her features harden with determination and she pulls the heavily pregnant teen from his chair.

"We have to get Kanda and you to the hospital. As fast as possible!"

"But-But we can't go out there! There are still akuma there!" Allen shouts, panicking.

"Then he will have to finish them fast!" the woman grumbles and opens the door to the save room after ordering the children to stay inside.

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **Uh-uh, cliffhanger again :P**

 **Short chapter, but the next (last) one is going to be longer, promise. The epilogue too. I just couldn't stop writing, now it's 4k+.**

 **Anyway, see you next time and please review.**


	30. Bad timing, moyashi, but thank you

**Hello everyone,**

 **here we go, last chapter before the epilogue.**

 **Thanks for the reviews as usual.**

 **Disclaimer: Yep, very funny.**

* * *

~ Back to Kanda ~

They are just not getting any fucking less! It seems like a never-ending stream of akumas is coming at me. I have long stopped counting how many I already killed, but at this point even I am starting to get exhausted. And it doesn't help that my thoughts tend to drift to the moyashi from time to time.

But at least I finished all level 3 and most level 2 off. What remains is half an army of level 1. Generally these ball-shaped monsters are not difficult to kill, but if they come at you in masses it gets fucking annoying and exhausting. I have gained some wounds as well, smaller ones and a gash on the left shoulder. In the middle of the fight I can't focus on my healing so most of them are still slightly bleeding.

A shoot flies at me from behind, I jump and slash another akuma with my sword, while the second blade blocks a projectile. When I land again I am some distance away from the entrance to the house, my back to it.

Suddenly I hear a shout over the ruckus of the akumas.

"Kanda! Come here! We need to get to the hospital!"

I recognize Lisa's voice and turn, frowning deeply. What is she doing here? She is supposed to look after the moyashi in safety. And true enough I spot her, standing in the doorway to the house. Apparently she thinks I didn't hear her and does a small step further out of the entrance.

When she leaves it another figure appears in the doorway. White hair and a bulging stomach come into view. Fuck! What the hell is the baka moyashi doing out here?! He can't fight! He has to fucking stay inside and safe. He is not only putting his life in high danger, but the child as well, for god's sake! Keeping my rage in control I try to focus on what the woman is saying while fending off all bullets directed at them.

"Kanda! You have to finish them now! We have to go to the hospital! As fast as possible! Allen's contractions have started! He's going into labour!" she yells over noise of the akumas, "Hurry, please!"

I blanch when I understand what she is saying. The baby is coming now?! Shit, it couldn't be any worse moment, could it? My gaze flies to the moyashi and sure enough I see his face contorting with pain. And no false labour this time. Fuck, so we really have to hurry. But I still have a horde of akumas in front of me. There is only one way I can erase them fast enough.

"Fuck!" I murmur, "I swore to use this as rarely as possible, but now I need it."

For a moment I close my eyes and focus, activating the next form of my sword. Murmuring the words to myself the third illusion of Mugen springs to life. I ignore the sting of pain which always comes with the activation of it. I know the price for this illusion is my life force, but at the moment it is far more important to protect the beansprout. I can take care of myself later. I see him watch with something between fascination and shock when my eyes get the three dots and the lines around my eyes appear. Mugen beams for a moment, flooding the akumas around me with light, destroying some of them in the detonation wave it sends out. Lisa puts a hand over her face to shield her eyes.

Using the inhuman speed this illusion grants me I shoot forward into the akumas, slaying each of them in a moment. Even Allen seems shocked at watching me. Well from what I remember I never used this in front of him, he would only fuss over me because of the collapsing I am sure to do afterwards. It doesn't take a minute for the last monsters to be gone, no matter how many there still are. As I already tried, this can be an effective technique against a Noah, so low-level akuma don't stand a chance.

I land in front of Lisa, deactivating my sword already while falling to stop it from taking too much of my life. I set a safe foot, but it doesn't take long before the first dizzy wave hits me as it does every time after I use the third illusion. I groan and plunge Mugen into the ground, using it as support. I lean on it, catching my breath for a moment.

"Kanda! Are you okay?" I hear a worried voice when I look back up.

Meanwhile the moyashi has hurried (more or less waddled) over to me. His face is concerned but afraid because of different things at the same time. He lays his left hand on my shoulder while the right rests on his huge stomach. I scoff and straighten up.

"I'm fine. You're the one we should worry about."

He smiles a shaky smile, "You will explain me what just happened later, but now you're right. Lisa said I'm in labour."

"We need to get you to the hospital as fast we can," the woman throws in.

"You couldn't pick any worse timing moyashi! Seriously!" I grumble at him.

"It's not like I can decide that," he growls back, but stops when his hand on his stomach tightens and he groans loudly.

I frown, but try my best to push the worry to the back of my mind. Still I know Allen has to get medical attention as soon as possible. So I swipe him up, carrying him bridal style. That he doesn't protest the treatment proves to me just how much pain he is in. When the contraction ebbs away I lean down, murmuring to him.

"Are you okay, moyashi? Can you bear with it?"

He smiles a pained smile, "I am okay, Kanda. It hurts like hell, but I can hold out until we get to Komui. I'm afraid, sure, but everything will go alright. It has to."

"And it will," I assure him silently. Then I straighten up and say clearly, "I will take the beansprout and run to the hospital. This is the fastest we can at the moment. Lisa, look after the children and find your husband, then you can come later. Timcampy!"

The golden golem hurriedly shoots out behind a rock, nuzzling his master's hair for comfort.

"Fly to Komui to alert him we are coming. He has to prepare the surgery. And hurry!"

The round thing does something akin to a nod and shoots off, faster than I have ever seen any normal order golem do. I tighten my hold on the boy in my arms as he grips my shirt when another pain hits him. Without so much as another look back I bolt off in the direction of the hospital.

It takes me less than twenty minutes to get there. I hurry to the back entrance Komui told us to use. Still nobody should see us after all. As I burst through the door I am immediately welcomed by a concerned River, bombarding me with questions, especially why I am so battered.

"I will fucking explain later! Now the moyashi needs help, for god's sake! Fucking bring me to Komui!" I yell at him.

He jumps but does as I said. To my shock right in that moment the boy in my arms scream out loudly. Hurriedly I try to sooth him, but it only barely works.

"Shh, moyashi, calm down. It's gonna be alright. We are at Komui soon."

"It hurts, Kanda," he buries his head in my shirt and I feel him shaking, sobs raking his body, "It hurts so much. Do something. I am so afraid that something will happen to the child."

"I know, I know. All will be fine," I try to reassure him, but that is not my best ability (kindly said).

River throws a door in front of us open and hurries us through. Inside I see an operation table with Komui and an assistant next to it. To be honest this picture triggers a survival instinct to flee immediately inside of me, because everyone in the Order has learned by now that Komui plus operation table means something very bad. Usually at least, now I have to ignore it, the moyashi needs it. So I do the last steps and carefully lay the boy on the table. He screams again, causing Komui to jump. He immediately rushes to the white head's side.

"How long ago have the contractions started?" he asks, looking at me.

But I only shrug my shoulder and it's Allen who answers, "Around two hours ago, I think."

"Okay, I am going to ask why Kanda looks like fresh from a fight later, now we have to focus on getting the baby out of you," he says in a serious tone, "Since you have no possibility of birthing the child the natural way, if we let the labour progress too far, it will end badly for both of you."

The moyashi blanches, squeezing my hand (nearly squashing it). I run my free hand through his hair in a silent encouragement. Komui starts shouting orders, demanding narcotic, towels and warm water. He wants to shoo me out of the room but the beansprout clings to my hand and looks up pleadingly.

"Please let him stay. I need him! And I bet he has seen worse on the battlefield."

He succeeds in letting me stay and I am glad about that to be honest. I wouldn't want to leave him now. Not when we are probably minutes away from holding our child and his life is at the highest risk of the whole pregnancy.

"Okay Allen, in a moment you are not going to feel your stomach anymore. But that's normal, I have to numb it so it won't hurt you when I have to cut it open," Komui says carefully after he has removed the moyashi's shirt and puts a small syringe on his now naked belly.

I feel him squeeze my hand again, I know he's scared. But if I were honest, then so am I, but I can do nothing more than squeeze back. He closes his eyes when he loses feeling. Komui looks at me shortly then takes a scalpel to the bulge, carefully cutting the skin. I stiffen at seeing the blood starting to flow. Since I am kneeling at Allen's head, I can't see exactly what is happening, but what I don't miss is the mass of blood and other fluids coming out from the wound and when River slowly reaches into it. Apparently the moyashi can feel it as well, because he cringes when the foreign hands enters his belly. And then, very carefully, the scientist lifts something out of the cut. My breath catches for a moment when I am able to discern the shape of a baby. It is still covered in blood but nonetheless a human being. As soon as it is completely out of the safety of Allen's womb it starts to wail loudly, protesting the world outside. At this the moyashi's eyes fly open, unshed tears shining in them.

"We have a child," he whispers unbelievingly and locks eyes with me.

"Yes you have, congratulations," River smiles, "You have a healthy boy."

He cuts the umbilical cord and carries the crying baby over to clean and examine it. Meanwhile Allen snuggles closer to me, as much as he can with Komui still working on his abdomen.

"We actually did it, Kanda," he breathes, tears now running down his cheeks, "We have a son, a little boy. A family."

I stroke his hair softly, "You did it. I couldn't do much. But believe me I am as happy as you are."

He smiles when I kiss him. None of us notices much of what Komui does after that. Our eyes are fixed on the small being in River's arms.

Allen is beaming with happiness and trembling with anxiety at the same time, when it is finally time for him to hold the boy for the first time. After Komui closed the wound and bandaged it, he told me to carry the beansprout to another room with a soft bed in it. Slightly exhausted from the past hours he lets himself be put down without problems. And now we are waiting for River to bring in the baby.

When he does the white head immediately reaches out and the scientist hands the small child over to his 'mother'. To both our surprise the baby quiets as soon as it is placed in the beansprout's arms. Again tears are rolling down the pale cheeks when he wordlessly beckons me to come closer.

"Look at him, he is beautiful, Kanda," he whispers.

I sit next to him and do as he says, not able to hide the smile coming to my face at the thought that this is actually my child. Nonetheless there is no denying he is my son. His face structure looks a lot like mine if I would have to imagine myself as a baby. Except that his eyes are a clear silver. The small patch of hair on his head is black with a reddish tint I would say, surprising me for a moment, regarding that none of us has red in his hair but then I remember that white is not the beansprout's original hair colour (not that I have ever seen the real one).

"He is," I agree slowly with the younger, "Do you know how you want to name him?"

For a moment he seems to be thinking then he smiles up at me, "Akari Mana," he answers.

"Moonlight?" I translate the Japanese name, "Why that?"

"I like the name and you like to train in the night," he shrugs.

"Plus your and his eyes are silver," I add.

"Yeah," he laughs and cuddles against me.

River brings us a bottle for the baby and the moyashi feeds it to the baby, basically glowing with happiness. I sit on a chair next to the bed, not wanting to disturb them. The scientists leaves us to give us privacy. After some moments the white head speaks up again.

"And his name fits Taiyou's. When we return to the Order we will have sun and moon," he grins at me.

I chuckle, "That was not what I had in mind when I gave Taiyou the name, but you're right."

We have decided to adopt Taiyou as well and take him back to HQ with us. Since we are two people now and he can look after our son when he's older. Plus it makes it easier to explain where Akari came from. Of course we can't tell the truth, so we settled on saying that we found him on the street. If we take Taiyou as well, it is probably more believable.

Allen smiles at me when the child lays asleep in his arms and takes my hand, "Why are you sitting so far away, Kanda? He's your son as well. Come here."

I am reluctant but let myself be pulled on the bed next to him. But I carefully stop him when he tries to hand me the sleeping child. As I see his face fall at the gesture I hurry to explain.

"I have never before had anything to do with a child this young. Taiyou was the first child I had to handle ever in my life. I could hurt him," I confess unwillingly.

He looks at me with surprise in his eyes. I can see endless questions in the silver orbs but I only shake my head. He understands and doesn't ask. Instead his expression softens and he sits straighter next to me. Softly he pries my clenched arms open, laying the infant in them.

"Don't worry, Kanda. I don't have any experience either. And you are so careful with me and Taiyou, even though you're such a jerk sometimes. I'm sure you won't hurt him," he murmurs in my ear.

And ever so slowly I relent and take the baby in my arms. He coos in his sleep and snuggles closer to my warmth. The moyashi smiles.

"See, he likes you. Nothing to be afraid of," he beams at me when I lift my eyes.

"I understand that you didn't have an exactly normal childhood," he continues, sad tones in his voice, "And it is incredibly painful for you to speak about it so I won't force you. I only hope you will one day tell me. But until then I am sure you will make a great father, trust me."

He smiles brightly at me and I can do nothing more than stare at him. He's so beautiful like this. In this moment I come to a conclusion over my feelings for him. I can't stop myself when I lean closer to him.

"One day I will. Thank you, Allen," his eyes widen but relax when I kiss him softly.

Immediately he melts into the action while I am being careful not to put any pressure on the baby in my arms as I lean close to the white head. When I draw away, he smiles and so do I (though by far not as bright; simply not able to). I use the hand not supporting the baby to lay it on the base of his neck and pull him close to me until our foreheads touch. I close my eyes and say what I have to.

"I love you, moyashi!"

I see his eyes widen but then they fill with a joy I have never seen on him before.

"I love you too, BaKanda," he whispers back and we share another kiss.

In this moment we are both completely at peace, having a complete family for the first time in our lives. And for a second we feel like we are far away of the problems of our war.

* * *

 **That's it for today. Thanks for reading.**

 **Finally Kanda said it, didn't he?**

 **Akari means moonlight as he said (according to my japanese dictionary).**

 **Epilogue is coming up next wednesday.**

 **But don't worry I have another a bit similar story, just waiting to be uploaded.**

 **See you at the epilogue and review please.**


	31. Epilogue: Family

**Hello everyone,**

 **sadly that's the epilogue. After today 'Just to feel alive' is finished.**

 **So I hope you enjoy this last chapter.**

 **Thank you so much for all the reviews for last chapter and throughout the whole story. Thank you for all the support.**

 **Disclaimer: Last chapter and still not mine, damnit ;P**

* * *

Five years later

I stretch when I walk through the ark gate, entering the white city. Slow footsteps follow me. I groan and turn around.

"Hurry up, baka usagi. I finally want to get back. We have been running around India for nearly a fucking month. And all we got were bloody forty akuma," I growl.

A lot has changed in the past five years. After the moyashi and I returned to the Order after the birth of Akari, we had to endure an annoying questioning by Central. Luckily we could convince them that we actually found the boy on the street together with Taiyou. They were beyond pissed nonetheless because for quite some time they could never send both of us on mission at the same time. Most of the time it was the moyashi staying back with the children or sometimes it was Linali because Komui throws a fit every time she has to go on a mission anyway.

About a year after the beansprout's pregnancy, the Earl's activity flared up. The first thing he did was trying to wake Alma, the boy who was with me in the second exorcist program. He wanted to force the Noah in Allen to wake up. His plan was to shock him with the revelations about my past and use me to cause the awakening. That fucking bastard! Anyway, for once I was glad that the moyashi forced me to have a long talking session about a month after Akari's birth. I was pretty annoyed at that point of time, but looking back at it, it was good. He urged me to tell him everything about my past, about why I behave like I do. I expected him to be disgusted, angry or something like that, but he wasn't. Well, he was angry but not at me. No, at the Order for doing something like that to children and other exorcists. I remember being closer to breaking down than I have ever been (apart from my two traumatic events involving my dear brother-turned-former-female-lover). But he just said, he didn't care about my past. He loved me anyway and will stay with me. But he was incredibly pissed with the Order and Komui had to endure a full blown rant with the help of leftover pregnancy hormones.

Luckily the Earl's plan failed. Alma did indeed wake up, but I was able to control myself enough to refrain from slicing him up a second time. The bean kept me grounded. The Noahs suffered a hard blow that day but we lost Alma in the process too and some scientists. Both of us were injured pretty badly as well. While we recovered and were each other's anchor, the Noahs unfortunately weren't idle either.

About one and a half years later, after months and months of hunting down masses of akumas, the whole Order was exhausted. Of course that was when the Earl announced his final battle. It was ridiculous. He used Wisley's powers to project a message in all our heads. He presented himself on a stage, saying he was being generous by giving us a week to prepare. The Order was in chaos. There had been troubles with Central for months. They only made everything worse. So when that message was sent, Komui threw a coup with a lot of help and Central was, let's say put out of commission. After that matter was dealt with, they did their best in preparing for the big battle. Hopefully the last.

The evening before the battle was terrible. We were all afraid of the next day. Of dying or losing other people important to us. Everyone who couldn't defend themselves was already gone, to a save hiding place. That included the children obviously. Akari was still too small to understand what was happening but Taiyou tried everything in his mind just so he didn't have to leave us. The moyashi was sad having to watch them go, but effectively he knew it was the better thing. So we had the last evening just to ourselves. It was one of the few nights we made love back then, uncaring that someone could maybe hear us. We needed to reassure the other we were there and loved the other. None of us wanted to think about the possibility that the other could be dead the next day. We weren't the only couple either, I am pretty sure I heard Linali that night (don't remind me; that was something I definitively didn't want to ever hear). Afterwards we just slept in each other's arms the rest of the night.

The next day was what was later called 'the final battle'. All Noahs were present with the Earl, as was each exorcist that could move. Science division had devised new weapons to at least keep some akumas at bay and make it easier for the exorcists. So we could concentrate on the Noahs. I got the pleasure to fight Rhode. Thank god I already did the nightmares and looking into your mind shit with Wisley and every night before I came together with the bean, so I could focus on actually defeating that bitch. And I was happy getting my revenge for the shit she pulled on the moyashi even if the eventual outcome was the best for both of us.

But some idiot (probably himself and his fucking saviour-attitude) decided that the beansprout had to fight the Millennium Earl himself (on his own, mind you! Such an idiot). I nearly didn't make it in time. He did get so close to dying but in the end we managed to defeat this fucking balloon of a man together. I think it was the thought of the children waiting for him that helped him pull through. I do not remember what happened after that. We both lost consciousness, holding each other like the night before.

The results of the battle were grave. The Mr-Bad-Overlord-with-a-ridiculous-hat was dead. And really dead, not just off the map to return some years later. The same counted for Mr-Pervert-Noah-with-split-personality as well, the crazy dream bitch and nearly every other Noah. The only ones who got out were the turban-with-headache (I really want to slice that damn mind-reader up and I will find him one day) because he stayed out of the battle to begin with (fucking coward!) and another Noah whose name I couldn't remember even if I tried.

Unfortunately there were more than enough casualties on the Order's side as well. We lost every general apart from the crazy old man. He is still alive but he can't walk anymore. The generals were the prime targets for the enemy. Chaoji got killed and three new exorcists that were found in the time between the Alma incident and the battle too. Miranda got shot badly and Lavi is limping since (not that it stops him from being annoying and jumping around like a rabbit on a sugar rush). We also lost countless finders and some scientists who refused to get to safety.

All four of us, Linali, the usagi, the moyashi and obviously myself survived. But each of us spent different spans of time in coma. The girl was the first to wake up after two days, Komui had been running amok in the infirmary the whole time. The baka usagi took about five days and was on bedrest for months afterwards. Allen woke up after nearly two weeks with even more scars than before. I wasn't there, I was told everything later. I was the last to wake up, my seal (or lotus or whatever you wanna call that shitty curse) wasn't working anymore. It took close to two months until my body got it sorted out. Normally I should have died because my time had run out but apparently Alma's sacrifice enabled me to live on like a normal human being (as normal as I can get). I don't have the fast healing anymore but I have the lifespan of a normal human now.

And I am beyond glad for that. I really don't want to know what would have happened to the baka moyashi if I would have never woken up. He was devastated enough during my coma. His facial expression when I woke up is something I will never forget. I have scars too now. Before my body would just heal them. The moyashi wouldn't let me out of his eyesight for at least three weeks after I woke up.

I have been with him since. With him and the kids. The Order has partly shut down. It's by far not as big as it was anymore. Most finders and scientists left. Only those who didn't have a family outside the Order like us stayed. Since none of the exorcists has anywhere else to go we are all still living at the old HQ. We are also still needed. There are still fucking akumas roaming around the world. They didn't get destroyed after the defeat of their master. We managed to kill the Noah who I can't recall since then (I nearly had a heart attack when the moyashi came back from that mission half dead). Wisley's still out there, but that guy has as much fighting power as a new-born puppy. The only thing that turban-bastard can do is fuck with your mind. We have also killed most of the akumas but because they hide as humans we can't be sure. We are still working on it.

And that's where we are currently returning from. One of those akuma hunts. Me and the baka usagi. Being injured doesn't stop that hyperactive from going on missions. River (the siscon was… uh busy with something else; probably building new killer machines) said that as long as I was with him it was fine. It has been a fucking month and I finally want to get home to moyashi and the kids. (Oh my fucking god! I sound like some mushy family father! Somebody shoot me now!) But it's true, he has been calling me regularly for about a week now, apparently there is something he wants to talk about. And now the damned usagi is not getting a move on. Normally he is the one bouncing ahead, this time I have to drag him behind me.

"Fucking move, usagi! What is your problem?" I growl.

"I don't want to return to HQ," he whines.

"I thought you have your fiancée waiting for you," I groan.

He and Linali finally got together shortly before the final battle. Komui was not happy at all (obviously; he is called siscon for reason). Lavi proposed about four months ago.

"She is not the problem. Her brother is," he tries to throw himself at my neck but lands on the ground when I evade.

"So you are still running from his stupid robots?" I sigh.

"It's not my fault he just keeps making more and more!" he whines while picking himself from the floor.

"Your fucking fault is that you dropped two big bombs on him at the same time," I growl back, "You should have told him about the child much earlier, idiot."

"I was afraid of the reaction. We both were!"

"So you fucking waited until it finally showed. Yes, yes, you told us often enough," but my patience has run out by now and I simply grab his wrist to drag him to the door with 'HQ' written over it, "I don't care, it's your own fault. Now come on before any of them comes fucking barging in here because we are not on time."

Yeah, well, the usagi got Linali pregnant. Komui was even lesser happy about that when they told him. That was about a good one and a half months ago and since then the rabbit has been trying to go on every mission he can get. And now I had to go with him on this month-long akuma search. Just to escape the crazy siscon. It's his own fault of waiting until even baggy shirts couldn't hide the girl's bump anymore. She was about five and a half months along when they did finally reveal it. At that point of time Allen had already been carted off to the farm we stayed at back then. The moyashi and I were the ones to know first (they told us as soon as they found out). By now the girl should be close to seven months.

Dragging a struggling usagi behind me, I shove the door to the Order open. As soon as I step out from the gate, his whole demeanour changes and he turns back to the rabbit on crack he usually is. I gladly release his wrist. What I am not so happy about it the fact that I have to doge an incoming missile as soon as we take more than one step into HQ. I growl and duck away, Mugen immediately in my hand. Luckily our Innocences still work. The rabbit though can just so get his face out of the way with a squeak and the projectile cuts off some of his hair.

"Cut it out, Komui! For god's sake!" I hear an annoyed female shout while two other voices snicker.

I groan and look up. The scene is not unfamiliar by now. Linali is kicking her brother over the head, sending him flying into the back wall. She hurriedly lands though because her balance is pretty off in the air at the moment with the bulge of her stomach. More to the front stands the moyashi, grinning about the scene behind him. He is holding Akari in his arms, Taiyou is bouncing next to him. He has been hanging off me practically all the time since I picked him off the streets. The white head turns and smiles at me.

I sigh and set on ignoring the annoyance behind me. I return the moyashi's smile with a small one of my own and start to walk down the stairs. He approaches me but before we can reach each other, Taiyou squeals.

"Chichi!" he yells and runs into my legs like he does every time I come back, even though now at nearly twelve most normal people would have problems to balance his assault.

"Taiyou, how many times do I have to tell you to not do that anymore?" I sigh when I ruffle his hair which he has grown past his shoulder-blades by now, bound in a ponytail like mine.

He grins up at me, "I got the full score on my last tests, chichi," he tells me excitedly and stretches his arms up like he did when he was smaller.

"I said no a long ago, young man," I sigh, "You are nearly twelve. You are really too old for this."

He pouts, "But I did so well in my exam!"

"You do well in nearly all your exams. It's nothing new."

Taiyou has proven to be very smart. Because he found his first home in the Order like we all did, he is planning on becoming a scientist when he's grown up. I wasn't so happy but the moyashi just laughed. He said as long he doesn't go as crazy as the siscon and starts to develop countless killer robots, it's going to be fine. Akari on the other hand turned out to be compatible to an Innocence. It frightened both of us slightly. I remember that day when the crazy scientist told us. Akari was only good three years at that time. Allen clutched him close to his body as soon as he heard the news. The boy's big silver eyes just stared up at his father (or daddy as they both call him), questioningly and naïve. The white head was so afraid that one day our son would have to live a life as shitty and dangerous as ours. But he won't. Until he is old enough to truly fight, all Noah's will be dead and most akumas extinguished. So he will just have a powerful sword. His weapon already formed even though he is not allowed to use it. It's equipment, a sword similar to the bean's at first look, but it is made to split up in two which he will be able to wield each with one hand once he grows up. Apart from that he is luckily a completely normal boy from what we could tell.

By now the moyashi has stepped up next to me as well, "Hey Yuu. It's been some time. I'm glad you're back in one piece."

I smile, "Of course I would. Even without that damned curse I am still not easy to kill."

He laughs that genuine laugh he learned again since the end of the war, "I know, but I'm still allowed to be worried as your husband, am I not? Besides you have gotten injured. I can see you favouring your right leg."

"Che," I scoff and turn my head away but still pull the shorter boy into my side.

The moyashi and I married in a small secret ceremony eight months after the final battle. We don't have rings but wear bracelets instead. Same-sex-couples are still forbidden so we kept it absolutely quiet. Lavi and Tiedoll went crazy over the news. I considered placing the old man outside during the ceremony so we won't drown inside the chapel.

He just smiles again and now Akari squeals as well reaching out his hands. He seems to have adopted that gesture from Taiyou and because he is only five he still gets held. So I groan and pull him into my arms. One arm secures the boy on my left hip, the other wraps around the moyashi. I smile and lean downwards to press a kiss to his lips to which he happily responds. Basically everyone who is still staying in HQ knows about us by now and has accepted it.

"Missed you, chichi," the small raven in my arms grins and squeezes his arms around my throat.

Carefully I pry him off before he can suffocate him, "Missed you too, little moon. But if you keep squeezing you are going to hurt me," I slowly set him on the ground to get properly reconciled with my husband.

We are interrupted by another loud crash which has us instinctively reaching for our weapons and the children. Luckily it's only Komui releasing Komurin number somewhere-over-two-hundred. The hyperactive rabbit is running from it while Linali is screaming her throat raw.

"May I?" I sigh to my partner.

He smiles, grabs Akari's hand and steps aside, "He has been going at it for the past five hours. I am fed up as well. Do as you like. But if possible do not kill him. I am really not in the mood of going through the trouble of getting a new supervisor accepted by the scrambles Central is now."

I growl and pounce. Using my pent up frustration I jump at the huge robot. Even with how advanced these things are by now, it only takes me few slashes to destroy the bloody thing. Komui shoots his darts at me, but I evade. Instead I just hit him hard over the head with the sheath of Mugen. With a loud indignant squeak he is buried under his robot. Lavi has been hit by a stray metal piece and dropped limp to the floor with an idiotic smile on his face. I release a sigh from finally getting rid of the frustration and reluctantly grab the back of the idiot's coat, hoisting him up. The moyashi snickers while I simply drag the red head towards his fiancée. I dump the body in her arms.

"Wake him up however you like. Don't want you holding something too heavy for too long now," I grumble and move back to my own family, "And now I don't want to be bothered until tomorrow."

The moyashi just laughs and lets me wrap my arms around him. Taiyou bounces merrily behind us, grinning at the limp 'uncle Lavi'. The eleven year old is pulling Akari along too. The red in the small boy's hair has become more prominent in the last years but the bean told me that he originally had reddish hair before it turned white.

At first we have to evade a crazed Tiedoll rolling through the corridors at break-neck-speed at the prospect of his 'Yuu-kun' being back. Yuck! Just keep that insane away from me! The rest of my family just has a laughing fit over the crazy 'granddad Tiedoll'. The first time Taiyou called him that he actually manage to create chaos through the whole Order with his cries because they thought someone turned on the alarm. Scared Akari in the process too.

When we arrive at our apartment, Taiyou squeals and happily drags me to the living room to show me the test he talked about. After Akari was born and we brought Taiyou with us, Komui transferred us to a whole apartment from my room. They moved our things and decorated the rooms while we had to stay on that farm. At the beginning I was more than reluctant to stay there with all of them and spent as much time as I could in my old room or the training area. But I saw that the moyashi needed my help and support. And if I'm honest it feels better coming home to a warm room with someone welcoming you than to a cold (alright, that I could have been solved by fixing the window) and lonely single room, as cheesy as that may sound. But for someone who never had a family before it feels really good.

We spend the afternoon with our kids and at six o'clock three very hungry stomachs demand to be fed. Children eat more than normal to begin, Akari is Allen's child to top of it. And the moyashi still has his huge appetite. So we all walk down to the cafeteria.

I can't help but raise an eyebrow at the huge amount of the white head. Was it always that big? Doesn't matter because in his enthusiasm that I'm back Akari makes a huge mess out of his pasta, spreading it over half of the table. I groan while the moyashi grins, motioning me to take care of it now that I'm back. I glare at him but he just smiles back playfully. Smirking I lean over to him.

"You will pay for that later, moyashi! I hope you are aware of that," I whisper directly in his ear.

I notice he can barely suppress a shiver, turning his head and breathing on my own ear, "I know and I am looking forward to it. It has been too long, Yuu-chan!"

I smirk back but whack him playfully. Even he is not allowed to call me 'Yuu-chan'. My first name is fine, but no suffix. His glowing eyes stare up at me and I lean towards him for a kiss. It really has been too long. But just as our lips touch, something suddenly hits our heads. Immediately we rip away from each other and glare up. Linali is sitting opposite us, stern look on and an apple in her hand.

"There are children present! Do that in your rooms," she growls (hello mood swings; Why the fuck do we have to deal with hers too? I had to endure the moyashi's for months now it should be the baka usagi's turn. Where the fuck is he? Oh right, still running from the siscon's killer robots).

The beansprout blushes but Taiyou just happily blurts, "That's nothing new for us. They do that all the time when they are both home."

Immediately the white head hushes the child while Linali glares. I can't help but snicker until I get an extra dark look from the girl. Urgh, mood swings are literally the least pleasant part of dealing with a pregnant person. Luckily soon the usagi also hits the cafeteria and it gets me the satisfaction of destroying another weird robot. In the following rant of the girl, the moyashi and I use the chance to disappear from the hall.

It takes ages to get the kids to bed. Both are way too excited to finally have me back in HQ. I though would prefer to just be left in peace with the moyashi and spend some quality time alone with him. But at quarter past eight Akari's eyes finally fall closed in exhaustion. Allen brings him to bed and tucks him in. That leaves me with a still bouncy Taiyou. It takes me quite some time until I manage to convince the small raven to also go sleeping. But the promise of spending time with him tomorrow and the fact that it's past nine finally get him to sleep.

After tucking him in and readying myself for the bed, I flop down on our shared mattress. Soon I hear soft steps approaching and then someone laying on the bed next to me. Small hands start to run through my hair and I sigh happily. A chuckle is heard.

"Finally some time alone, right Yuu?"

I smile and roll over to the moyashi next to me, "Hn, that's true. I have been away way too long. Stupid usagi."

"Don't blame him. He didn't want to be anywhere close to Komui. It was all but pleasant in these last weeks, believe me. Between Linali having mood swing fits and Komui wracking havoc in the Order I don't think I had any calm moment. I'm so glad you're back."

"Hn, so am I," I grin and roll over to come laying on top of the white head, "How about I show you?"

He grins back and loops his arms around my neck, "That sounds great to me!" and presses his lips and chest against mine.

* * *

Later in the night we lay happy and sated in each other's arms. He smiles and snuggles into my chest. He sighs and unconsciously runs a hand over his own abdomen, a habit he has kept since his pregnancy.

"He's already five years old," he muses softly, "It seems so much shorter."

"A lot happened in these years," I sigh while running a hand through his strands which have grown longer since then as well.

"That's true. But not all was bad."

"No, not everything. We won the war."

That earns me a playful punch, "I mean Akari and our relationship. Even though it disgusts me to say that, but we would have to say thank you to Rhode for that."

"Che, no way, I am not being in the least thankful to that crazy bitch," I growl, "Thank god she's dead."

"Yeah, but I am still happy that I have a child now. Two even if you count Taiyou. Don't you think so?" he looks up at me hopefully with a hint of something I can't identify even after over five years of learning to read the boy.

"I am, it feels good. And I'm glad that I can give two children a happy childhood which none of us had," I admit softly.

He giggles at my (still) reluctance about expressing my true feelings and not hide them behind a mask of annoyance. But I am working on it. It's just hard after years of doing my very best in rising unbreakable walls. Actually it's fascinating how easy it was for the bean to tear them down. What the usagi didn't manage in over four years, the white head did in about one.

"Hm, have you ever…" he bites his lips nervously.

"Ever what?" I ask.

He fiddles similarly to when he had to tell me about the pregnancy. Using a method like then, I carefully grab his chin and force him to look at me. His nervous eyes focus on mine and I stroke his cheek reassuringly.

"Have you ever thought about… another child?" he finally mumbles out.

I chuckle softly, "I have but you would have to carry it and you weren't so happy about it last time. What about you?"

He snuggles his face in my chest, "It is fine. It was just so shocking the last time. Boys usually don't have the children. But now with Akari, I am happy about it. And the possibility that maybe I could have more… I can't get it out of my head, especially with seeing Linali these days. I always wanted a big family if you're not against it."

"I'm not. Alma, who was like my brother was my only anchor in the labs. So, yes, I would like to have another child," I smile, kiss him and run my hands in his hair.

The nervousness leaves his face and he smiles. One of his hands grabs one of mine and he puts them on his stomach. I look at him questioningly for a moment then my eyes widen. He smiles brightly.

"How does good seven months sound?"

"Great!" I whisper and he laughs.

I smile and pull him close into my body. Our lips meet in a passionate kiss and we enjoy the warmth of each other. We both have the family and love we never got in our lives before now. The war is mostly over and we can finally be free.

* * *

 **~ END ~**

 **That's it. Thank you for reading.**

 **I hope you liked the story and how it ended.**

 **The other story starts next week Saturday or Sunday.**

 **Maybe see you then.**

 **And reviews are still appreciated. ;)**


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